I believe the what the parent comment was referring to is the advice not to praise character, but instead praise hard work.
“You’re so smart” leaves room for failure when they encounter something that challenges their image of being smart. Praising the amount of effort they put in is not something that is taken away or challenged regardless of the outcome.
One of my kids are particularly brilliant and what I found is that the combination works best, "you are smart therefore I have high expectations" AND "without doing the work being smart doesn't matter". Together this creates a self image of the capable doer.
x_may|1 month ago
“You’re so smart” leaves room for failure when they encounter something that challenges their image of being smart. Praising the amount of effort they put in is not something that is taken away or challenged regardless of the outcome.
durandal1|1 month ago