[nntwozz]

Not saying it's right for everyone, but I moved off-grid where my nearest neighbor is 5km away.

20 years in an apartment in the city was enough for me, as I grew older I realized there are too many things outside of my control if I want silence and peace of mind.

Sound pollution is a very real baseline stressor.

[wingworks]

I'm sure it depends on demographic/country etc, but I've lived in Apartments where everyone was considerate, no loud neighbours, no smokers. Everyone just peacefully co-existed. (I've also experienced the opposite, and unfortunately, it is more common.)

[socalgal2]

And I've lived in apartments designed to be much more sound proof, then the neighbors could do whatever they wanted and didn't have tip-toe around each other.

[AlwaysRock]

All it takes is one good neighbor moving out and a bad one moving in next door…

[tartoran]

I'd feel a bit too lonely at 5km distance to the nearest neighbor as a matter of fact I don't think I ever visited or stayed at such a property. Are you completely off grid? What are the drawbacks of living in such a place and is it overall a better deal for you? It sounds very tempting for me too but I don't think I'm ready for this just yet.

[nntwozz]

I have no electricity except solar. It works well for all my needs, technology has solved this depending on your needs and how much money you have.

I have no water except the one I bring when I buy food weekly/every two weeks. I'm still renovating/building so I'll have a well in the future.

I heat my home with wood that I cut on my own property, I enjoy this very much. It's a workout that also produces something of value.

The drawbacks can be many depending on what kind of lifestyle you're after.

Sartre said "if you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company".

I do mountain biking, nordic skating and I have a dog; it works for me. A lady friend might be nice eventually :]

It's silent, I can hear my own heartbeat; civilization is 30 min away.

This is in Sweden.

[sejje]

I live in a similar place, though I'm not off-grid.

The drawbacks for me are that "town" is about an hour away. But amazon delivers here.

There's no city life, no ordering to-go food or pizza, no movie theater, no ice cream runs to sonic. You have to plan ahead. Socialization happens online or with people in your own home, pretty much exclusively.

It's often hard to find anyone to fix your stuff--you become a framer, a plumber, a roofer, a mechanic. I consider this a net benefit, but it can be taxing at times.

That being said, not everyone does it quite like I do. All my neighbors have jobs in the city, for instance.

[mancerayder]

I can relate to this very much. A city guy, no one could understand my (also) 20 years of complaining about neighbors with loud music, slamming doors, making noise after midnight, etc etc. I lived on top floors, and I even spent a fortune living in a luxury building that was newly built, hoping sound insulation was higher end. The problem is that bass music travels through everything. I suffered from being woken up in the night by party goers, and early morning by door slammers. Once I wake up, it takes me a long time to fall back asleep. On weekends, when I want to stay at home and just play a game or read, people play music in the afternoon and often I would stress over some sort of party nearby beginning that evening, forcing me to find somewhere to go just to avoid the noise. Eventually I purchased a home in the woods.

What's happening to make us a minority here is at the minimum:

- Younger people are less sensitive to noise, go out more, and generally don't understand how distressful it can be

- Some people are light sleepers as well as get cognitively overloaded, needing relatively quiet environments to relax. People like me are in a tiny minority.

- Cities are the future, they're the greener option, and you're supposed to prefer the dense apartment life instead of the car one, on ethical grounds.

So when I detailed my suffering several times here on HN, and suggested dense cities are not mentally healthy for many people such as myself, I got downvoted. There's a bit of politics behind city living that folks who don't have cognitive sensitivities around noise just won't relent from.

[marcus_holmes]

> - Younger people are less sensitive to noise, go out more, and generally don't understand how distressful it can be

When I was younger I lived in a large shared house, constant activity and people coming and going, music always playing, I loved it then.

Now I live in a very soundproof apartment, literally never hear anyone else (our neighbours right next door had a party until 4am with loud music, etc. We didn't hear a thing). I love this now.

As I get older I've gotten more and more sensitive to other people's noise. I find people playing bluetooth devices to be acutely, intensely, irritating. I can't just ignore it, it annoys and distracts me too much.

I've become that grumpy guy who asks people to turn their music down or wear headphones (almost always a negative experience for everyone involved). I talk to management at restaurants and pubs and ask them to turn the music down (mixed results on that one). I have taken a table at restaurants and then walked away because the music is too loud.

It is weird, because this is my reaction to the situation, so I'm responsible for it. A city is not a quiet space, and we can't really expect it to be. But at the same time, the lack of consideration for others is shocking. Walking around playing music on speaker is basically saying to everyone "f*ck you, I'm more important than all of you".

[Bost]

> The problem is that bass music travels through everything.

It’s not just bass tones—low-frequency vibrations travel through everything. I live in a five-story pre-WWII building, and sometimes, when a neighbor runs their washing machine early on a Saturday morning, I don’t even hear the spin cycle. I just feel it, lying in bed trying to squeeze in a little more sleep. It’s an odd sensation, not painful, but definitely not pleasant.

[decafninja]

There are a few topics that illicit this kind of response. I've lived in apartments/condos ever since I moved out of my parents' home, and living through Covid in an apartment was the nail in the coffin. My wife and I decided we would not live in a shared building again - at minimum, we'd only look for places that have a private entrance.

Based on the behavior of real estate in our area (high density suburbs of NYC), I don't think we're the only ones? Condo prices have either fallen or remained static while SFH have skyrocketed.

[Tade0]

I also can't stand noise and in my case the solution was to find a two storey apartment at the top floors. They're fairly common in my city.

Another thing that happened by itself was my neighbour with whom I shared several walls moving out. His landlord put the apartment up for sale, but a year later there are still no takers.

I'm seriously considering buying it if only to keep it empty and my place peaceful.

[wiseowise]

> - Younger people are less sensitive to noise, go out more, and generally don't understand how distressful it can be

Nonsense. This has 100% to do with manners and how your parents taught you. When I grew up making a noise in an apartment was a grave offense, because you make a nuisance for your parents and neighbors.

> - Some people are light sleepers as well as get cognitively overloaded, needing relatively quiet environments to relax. People like me are in a tiny minority.

Double nonsense. I don’t have statistics, but given how bad modern mental health is, I don’t buy that only a tiny minority has problems with sleep.

> - Cities are the future, they're the greener option, and you're supposed to prefer the dense apartment life instead of the car one, on ethical grounds.

You should’ve started with this. I would’ve just skipped the whole message. Complete, utter nonsense.

Unless you believe in the “eat-ze-bug” future, the greener option is to:

- reproduce less

- raise living standards

- drastically increase productivity so we don’t need so many people

- AI + Space exploration

[computerdork]

Brown noise always does the trick for me when things get noisy, and being very careful about choosing the apartment/room you rent, making sure it's at least somewhat quiet.

[tempestn]

Unfortunately this doesn't work if you spawn your own noise polluter and they live in your house.

[hackpelican]

I cannot tolerate children crying or being generally loud.. unless it’s my kid, then it barely registers at worst, enjoyable at best.

[TacticalCoder]

Triple-glazed windows do work wonder. I live atm in a modern construction with triple-glazed windows everywhere. Now it's not the city per se, more like the posh suburbs, but it's still an apartment, with neighbors. But you don't hear them, nor do you hear the cars outside.

That said TFA's author is a real dick and that is seen in the way he writes. You don't "teach" your neighbors and you don't program them in a pavlovian way. He obviously has got an inferiority complex and he's expressing it by playing though in the way he writes.

[matheusmoreira]

> You don't "teach" your neighbors and you don't program them in a pavlovian way.

Sure you do. Punishment of bad behavior is a basic social rule. Words were exchanged. All they had to do was listen, understand and stop the bad behavior. Had they done that, things would not have escalated beyond a polite conversation. Unfortunately, people often choose overt disrespect instead. They choose to challenge the other guy to do something about it.

If anything they should be glad the punishment was as civilized as this. There are many places in this world where it could easily escalate to actual violence.

[luckylion]

He might have, and my experience is that you cannot teach inconsiderate people, they lack social object permanence: as soon as you don't stand in front of them, they become unaware of your existence and thus are also unaware that their music at two in the morning might be annoying to you.

Better windows don't help either - but they're great for noise outside. The only thing that helps against horrible neighbors is moving. If you've never learned that lesson, you've never had horrible neighbors.

[nntwozz]

I actually had that too, but they don't stop sounds from inside the building like constant bathroom renovations etc.

The problem is also that the moment you walk outside you're bombarded with all the sounds of the city. ANC headphones exist but so do air-pollution masks, I don't think that's the way forward or at least that's not how I want to live my life.

[wiseowise]

> That said TFA's author is a real dick and that is seen in the way he writes. You don't "teach" your neighbors and you don't program them in a pavlovian way. He obviously has got an inferiority

Sure you do, if:

1) your neighbour is an absolute cunt

2) their parents failed to raise a responsible human being

3) law won’t protect you

4) you can’t easily move

5) you don’t use violence

Then you have all the rights to teach the cunt some manners.

[riazrizvi]

I love to be in control of my environment. In my apartment block that means I rely on my sound machine to silence any unwanted noise. Albeit relatively.