[snozolli]

I found the old OKCupid blog posts via Gwern.net:

https://web.archive.org/web/20140910162626/http://blog.okcup...

These should be read by anyone interested in online dating, even if they are wildly out of date.

FWIW, my suggestion for young men (because I was one, and have no advice for women) is to find a third place that you like and meet people there. Church (if that's your bag, it's not mine), climbing gyms, dinner clubs, dog parks, adult education classes, martial arts, etc. My best relationships have come from the climbing gym and the dog park. I would also choose speed dating over online dating. Better to find that immediate spark rather than screw around with messages only to meet and find no chemistry.

[xigoi]

> Church (if that's your bag, it's not mine), climbing gyms, dinner clubs, dog parks, adult education classes, martial arts, etc.

Such places will quickly ban you if you start hitting on women.

[robjan]

Then don't hit on people. Go there with no expectations other than enjoying the activity, it makes you a better and more interesting person anyway. The people who get banned are the creepy ones who go purely for the sake of hitting on people.

[carabiner]

I loved the oktrends blog and read Christian Rudder's book dataclysm, but these data are over a decade old. A lot has changed (pandemic, atomized culture, manosphere, incels, gym obsession, decline of drinking / going out) I have to wonder how much is still valid. OkCupid was the best dating site ever though.

[renewiltord]

It's interesting that so many people like these blog posts but they'd be really hard to get an IRB to agree to run a study with.

[smcin]

Yes, Christian Rudder's old OKTrends blog was excellent and showed real-world data on how people actually behave, and the frequent mismatch with what they claim/ believe/admit to. (Mind you, the OkCupid founders left over a decade ago and it went hugely downhill)

For some reason your post got downvoted and killed.