[jbstack]

Why are they mutually exclusive? Can't you hang out with and chat with other programmers ... about food, hiking, travelling, culture, or relationships? In the same way that lawyers don't have to talk about law, and doctors don't have to talk about medicine when they hang out. When I think about my friendships, it's rare that we ever spend any significant amount of time talking about our work.

[PaulDavisThe1st]

One reason for their mutual exclusivity is that I am self-employed, have worked at home for the last 30+ years and live in a tiny village in New Mexico. "Other programmers" is not a thing that just happens in my life, and I'm generally reluctant (one might say "loathed") to go track them down when the benefits of doing so seem pretty thin.

[quietbritishjim]

I think "can't you hang out with ... " meant "would it really be a problem if you did hang out with ... " referring to the objections in your previous comment. Not why don't you know any in practice!

[SecretDreams]

There are some people that gravitate towards making friends at work and spending their non work lives with them and there are those that prefer the opposite.

I am friendly with my coworkers and might occasionally spend time with them outside of work, but, for the most part, all my closest friendships are not from work and not in the same profession (outside of the few I picked up in school).

[bananaflag]

I think this is part of why programming as a job never appealed to me (and I never became one). I'd like to do something that is worth doing in the sense that it's worth discussing in your "free" time too. And most programmers feel like the show Severance (yeah I know it's the other way round).

To contrast, I have some philosopher friends and they discuss about food (they, unlike me, love cooking shows), travelling, but also philosophy. There is never any feeling of "this is work, we don't talk about this". It's very refereshing. And I imagine writers talk a bit about writing too.

[aleph_minus_one]

> I'd like to do something that is worth doing in the sense that it's worth discussing in your "free" time too. And most programmers feel like the show Severance (yeah I know it's the other way round).

This does not fit my experience. It's rather that many passionate programmers are rather eager to talk about what they do at work (at least if they are allowed to), but the common situation is that what they do at work is barely interesting to people who are not at least somewhat interested in programming topics.