36yo: Career at home vs. Simple life abroad?

[Slaboli]

I am 36 years old, single, and currently unemployed, living with my parents in my home country. I am at a point that might define the next decade of my life. I am struggling with a choice between two paths that offer completely different types of security.

Option A: Relocating to Southern Europe (Portugal)

The Income: A low-skill remote role (Content Analysis) with night shifts (PST hours), paying ~1100 EUR. I also have some passive income to supplement this.

The Lifestyle: Living in a studio or small apartmentin in smallish Portuguese town. For around 800 EUR.

The Perspective: The move isn't about a specific career goal or a passport; it’s about the higher life standards, safety, and the stable social environment of Western Europe.

The Trade-off: I would be far from my aging parents. I would be working an unskilled job that doesn't build professional equity, potentially living in studio at 36, which might be isolating during night shifts.

Option B: Staying in my Home Country (Ankara, Turkey)

The Job & Security: A Finance/Accounting role for a SME. I own my apartment here, so I have no housing costs.

The Professional Play: Pursuing a CPA-equivalent certification. This is a 3-year commitment of internships and exams, leading to legal signing authority and the ability to open my own practice later on with adaquate experience and networks.

The Context: Turkey is facing economic instability, high inflation, and politically unsettling.

The Trade-off: While I would be near my parents and building a protected professional title, I would be staying in a high-stress, unpredictable environment.

The Financial Weight:

I have already spent roughly 10k EUR on the relocation process for Option A (visas, consultants, etc.).

The Dilemma:

One path offers a prestigious, recession-proof career in a struggling, unstable country. The other offers a simple, comfortable life with 'okay' standards in a stable country, but with no professional growth.

At 36, is it wiser to invest 3 years in a professional license to root myself, or to take the jump for a better quality of life even if the work is menial?

What would you do?

THANK YOU!

[ggm]

These kinds of multivariate decisions are extremely hard and what decision support systems were designed to work with. Typically you construct a model with all the qualitative questions, and a process which weighs each of them against each other drives something like a weighted centroid outcome.

The problem with asking strangers is the lack of investment and consequences to decisions. So if I say Portugal it has zero context to how your emotions will cope with e.g. sudden deterioration of your parents health, or racism, or language issues. If I say turkey it's based on outsider sense of place as a visitor with no exposure to the political risk.

Decision support is part of operations research. A good oversight (obviously they push their own model but they explain a lot of the systems)

https://www.1000minds.com/decision-making/what-is-mcdm-mcda

for context I made the decision to up sticks and move to another economy in my late 20s almost 4 decades ago and have never regretted it but it does carry bitter pills, breaking of links, parental death and related family tensions, emotional turmoil. Nothing is easy, but my path was easier than yours given the same language both points of my migration journey, and a different world economy

[Slaboli]

Thank you for the perspective. You’re right that strangers lack the emotional context. I think my paralysis comes from over-optimizing the variables and ignoring the 'bitter pills' you mentioned. I am currently trying to build an MCDM model as you suggested, but I find myself biased toward weighting 'safety' vs 'career stability' differently every day. Did you find that your priorities changed once you actually arrived at your new destination, or did your initial weighting hold true over the decades?

[keiferski]

I wouldn't do the Portugal option unless you have a path toward it growing in the future. Otherwise you may find yourself at age 46, making 1500 euros a month, and basically unable to actually set yourself up for a life.

Maybe that means getting citizenship in 5-7 years, then moving elsewhere in the EU. Maybe it means something else.

In your situation, I would probably stay in Turkey and build up a career / wealth, with the specific point of picking something that's portable. Not sure if Turkish CPA requirements are portable, or how well they convert to EU/USA/etc. standards. Then in 5-10 years, think about moving to the West, if you still desire to do so.

The money you've invested now is a sunk cost and is irrelevant in the long term.

[Slaboli]

Thanks for your comment! You’re right that Portugal is full of "maybes." On one hand, having a job offer makes it feel within reach, but I worry about spending months with no professional or financial growth. However, I’m confused because I know millions in Turkey would love to be in my position.

Regarding my career, my CPA technical capacity is portable. I can convert it to US or UK equivalents with just a couple of written exams.

I definitely do not want to be 46 years old, holding onto a menial job or worse, being laid off and forced into call center work in Portugal.

[aristofun]

It’s wiser to invest in independence of any external circumstances. To get some valuable skill, for example. To be flexible enough to relocate.

Also you don’t go to another country for a “better living standards”.

You go there to get out of your comfort zone, to grind, to prove yourself, to learn etc. unless you’re already rich you’re going to struggle in one way or another for a while. Only your kids born there will be able truly and fully enjoy all the “standards”. That’s the brutal truth.

[yodsanklai]

> Also you don’t go to another country for a “better living standards”.

Why not?

[haute_cuisine]

It's interesting that you frame the question as what is wiser. Here is a quote from Naval about making decisions, I hope it would bring more clarity.

Decisions:

- If you can’t decide, the answer is no.

- If two equally difficult paths, choose the one more painful in the short term (pain avoidance is creating an illusion of equality).

- Choose the path that leaves you more equanimous in the long term.

Also, never outsource decision making to anyone who doesn't bear the consequences of the decision.

[Slaboli]

My real struggle is deciding which battle is worth fighting. I need to choose the path that is painful now but will compound into greater value, stability or status in 5 years.

Is it the pain of career building (Turkey) or the pain of geographic isolation (Portugal)? Your insight forces me to ask: which pain is more likely to yield the best long-term return?

THANK YOU!

[yodsanklai]

As other pointed out, it's very difficult to answer as we're not you...

Ideally, I'd try to talk to people who made similar decisions (e.g. Turkish migrating to Portugal or similar) so you can perhaps add new information to your options.

Regarding the financial weight: this money is lost already, so shouldn't be taken into account for the decision.

Living abroad is aways a valuable experience. On the other hand, if you have a low income and little opportunity for growth, this can be a frustrating on the medium term. If you go that path, maybe try to think ahead to see what will be your next step. Suppose you don't like Portugal, could you fall back to your option B after 2 years?

[Slaboli]

It is indeed a very personal decision. However, hearing others' opinions is helpful to challenge my logic and highlight any gaps I might be overlooking. Thank you for chipping in!

The situation is that while Portugal seems great for the short term, I don't believe the long-term job prospects and career growth will match what I have at home.

On the other hand, I try to remind myself that no one knows the future and that I should take it one step at a time. But at 36, this is highly taxing, as I feel way behind my peers regarding being rooted and starting a family and raising kids.

[taneliv]

Do you speak Portuguese? Are you interested in learning it? I don't know how big a role it plays in making connections and friends in Portugal, and how important those are to you. It may be also more difficult to find English (or Turkish!) speakers in smaller towns compared to big cities.

How stable is the remote role? Are you more likely to be laid off (or the company to cease operations) than turmoil in Turkey? Obviously this is also very subjective speculation, but since you don't mention it, how does it figure into your plans? How well will you be able to find other similar work in Portugal? (Or elsewhere, I would assume your relocation will offer freedom of employment across EU.)

[Slaboli]

I only speak the basics of Portuguese for now, but I’m open to learning it. I do think language plays a big role in building real connections and friendships, especially outside expat circles. In smaller towns, it’s true that finding English speakers, let alone Turkish speakers lol is extremely hard. The trade-off is that rent is dramatically cheaper. In Lisbon or Porto, even tiny studios are above 1,200 EUR, while in smaller towns I can find something decent for around 700 EUR.

The remote role offers 1,100 EUR. It’s a content analyst position for YouTube ads. I don’t see it as something I would do for year, more like a starter job to enter the market. Without Portuguese, job options are mostly limited to call centers or similar roles where Turkish and English fluency is an advantage. Salaries in Portugal are generally low even highly experienced managers earn around 2,000 EUR.

As for stability, the turmoil in Turkey doesn’t affect me directly, but indirectly it does. The general atmosphere and economic situation make things feel uncertain and heavy. The remote role itself isn’t something I see as long-term stable either, so I’m aware that I’d need a plan B and to improve my language skills to expand my options. I can only work in Portugal as I just have the temporary residence, after 5 years of stay can I start working in other EU nations. Thank you for your message!

[gcheong]

Can you take advantage of the Portuguese educational system to train for a professional career while you are living and working there? If so, I think that might tilt things in favor of Portugal especially if the prospect of obtaining an EU passport is there.

[codebitdaily]

At 36, the 'simple life abroad' often looks like a dream, but the 'career at home' provides the leverage for future freedom. The middle ground that worked for me was focusing on 'local-first' projects that don't require high-bandwidth office politics. If you can decouple your income from a specific geography while keeping your career growth, you don't have to choose. But remember, a simple life is a state of mind—moving abroad with the same burnout mindset won't solve the core issue.

[Slaboli]

Thank you! So in my situation, would this look like getting my CPA license in Turkey and then weighing my options for geographic mobility afterward? I initially need to commit to one path, as legally (and location-wise) I’m unable to pursue both at the same time.

[tacostakohashi]

I'd suggest staying in Turkey.

I've done the expat/migration thing myself, there are some upsides for sure, but it can also be quite draining being a bit of a social misfit, not having a much of network/connections, dealing with the linguistic/cultural/administrative issues of visas, etc... in many ways you're just forever at a disadvantage to the locals.

I also don't see Portugal as being a big step up from Turkey in the grand scheme of things. Both basically europe, mediterranean, decent standard of living but kind of second-tier economy, etc. If anything, Turkey is obviously bigger, has some bigger cities, more of a range of lifestyles, etc.

I think migration/expat life can be worth it if you're moving to silicon valley, tokyo, new york, shanghai... or somewhere that is a centre of gravity for your industry (like australia for mining, texas for oil, shenzhen for hardware manufacturing, etc...), and the income/growth potential is many multiples of what you can get at home, but I wouldn't be doing it for a modest, largely sideways move.

As for your 10k EUR... obviously, beware the sunk cost fallacy. Also, these things aren't permanent, if you want you can do it for 6 months or a year, see how it is, if it's great, stay, if it's not... go back (or somewhere else).

[Slaboli]

I appreciate your perspective! The social misfit issue is definitely amplified in towns where local Portuguese life is dominant. No matter what I do, I will likely remain an outsider, even though the Portuguese people are genuinely friendly and understanding.

You're right that Portugal isn't a step up in the same way moving to a global hub like London or New York would be. It’s starting to feel like a lot of mental effort for a "sideways move," especially when I already have an established network at home.

Regarding the 10k EUR, I’ve definitely been thinking about the sunk cost fallacy. It's a lot of money to leave behind, but throwing another year of my career away just to justify the spend might be the bigger mistake. I suppose this is where I’ve been feeling trapped financially.

Taking it one step at a time seems like the only way to avoid burnout.Maybe a very short trial as you suggested at least until I find a suitable accounting role back home can be attempted. Thank you!

[oriettaxx]

for a moment I've read: "simple life aboard" :)

and living aboard would have been a great choice, not in Turkey indeed due to crazy marina costs (not forgetting "Merdogan" how your dictator is called in Italy ;)

[r_sz]

> What would you do? For me the closeness of the family was the deciding factor, so I returned from abroad to my home country

[Slaboli]

Thank you! I appreciate the honesty. That is the one variable that haunts me. My parents are actually encouraging me to go; they think the quality of life in Europe, the experience is worth the distance, especially given our local economic instability. Also, I am currently unemployed at home, which adds a layer of 'stagnation' to the closeness.

Did you move back because you felt lonely abroad or because your family actually needed you there?

[mstaoru]

Health insurance? Remote role taxed where? Would it even count for Portuguese PR?

Spent €10k on visa consultants?.. What did they do exactly?

I wouldn't also fully assume that Portugal is more stable than Turkey. EU is not what it used to be 10 years ago.

...

I would stay in Turkey.

[Slaboli]

Thanks for the advice! The position is taxed in Portugal. Tt's a US company with a local base, (paying 1100 monthly lol) so everything is legally compliant regarding taxes and residency. I spent 10k EUR in total, including my stays in Lisbon, just to handle the paperwork (it took six months for them to process my residency card)

That is precious insight about stability. You're saying Portugal, while in a better position, isn't significantly more stable than Turkey in the long run. For EU, I agree that it probably won't improve much over the long term.

[kypro]

I can't answer this for you because it's objectively very subjective, but if I were to give advise it would be to minimise regrets. Which option, if you didn't make it, would you regret more?

I'd also add that "menial" work can be really enjoyable... My favourite job ever was working in retail. On paper it was the most "menial" job I ever had, but it was also by far my favourite. If I could have a good quality of life working a job like that again, I do it in a heartbeat.

Finally, you don't know how things will play out. I had a "good job" early on in my career which I thought I'd never leave because I didn't think I'd find something better. Then I lost my job and within a year my life trajectory had completely changed, and for better. This change in trajectory was largely a direct result of me losing my job. You have no idea what opportunities might await you. If you're a smart person you'll find interesting things to do wherever you are.

[moomoo11]

hey man, first of all i empathize with your situation and wish you the best. What i say here is just my opinion, and since I don't know your exact situation this is just me trying to be helpful. if it isn't, feel free to ignore i mean no harm.

May I ask what interests you? And also, what do you see yourself doing in optimal (but realistic - don't give me you want to be Elon Musk or something) outcome?

if you're close with your parents, at your age I think you would probably want to be closer to them. i think being there for them as they get older is way more valuable than simply an economic improvement (unless it is magnitudes better, ofc).

what problems have you faced in your own country? do you have good friends around who might have various skills in similar situation or looking to do something different? maybe a gathering of imaginations and skills could result in something nice that you guys do and start small to keep busy and make money? for example, even offering your services via a consulting firm you form to people in foreign countries (USA, Canada, Euro the currency) could be good. If you get paid in foreign currency you could maybe kick the economic uncertainty bucket down the road.

but, if you do relocate to Europe i think you could look into getting cheap/free education there and improving your conditions. it is never too late to learn and do new things.

good luck bro

[beAbU]

Why don't you ask you AI for its opinion?