[juleiie]

One fictional character that I think is helpful to bring is Luke Skywalker. It’s not about politeness, but about genuinely knowing why people behave the way they are and then offering them alternative other than QAnon.

Listening to QAnon is a desperate attempt to understand the world after every other mainstream figure of authority failed that person.

What I am talking about is not politeness. Politeness is tone management. The McCain/Romney approach. I respect my opponent, let's find common ground, here's my reasonable plan. That is only decorum. But Trump did validate. That's precisely why he won. He just validated the ugliest parts. When he said the system is rigged, that the elites despise you, that your way of life is under siege, millions of people heard the first person in power say what they felt. The content was often vile, the solutions were fraudulent, but the emotional recognition was real. He didn't win by being polite. He won by being the first one to say your rage makes sense.

The mistake is thinking validation means being nice. It doesn't. It means demonstrating that you understand what someone is actually experiencing before you ask them to go somewhere with you. Trump does this instinctively, he just leads people somewhere destructive.

[ToucanLoucan]

I agree with what you’re saying while also thinking you’re underestimating the appeal of the destruction he’s leading them to.

It’s easier to tempt someone into getting a pizza with you than starting a diet, because pizza is more fun than diets. All that to say: the same mechanisms by which the alt-right is tempting people with cruelty aren’t going to be as effective when employed towards pro-social activity.

[tombert]

I don't think I disagree much with what you said, but frankly I think that is a task for other people.

I am exceedingly impatient with this kind of stuff, from people that I think should know better. I try to avoid these arguments now entirely and live in my happy progressive NYC bubble.

No doubt that diplomacy with this stuff is necessary but I don't think that that's something anyone should want me specifically for.

[switchbak]

I think what you’ve said is thoughtful and honest and I disagree with the downvotes.

I’m one of the politically homeless, and not even a resident of the USA, so I suppose I have an easy out.

Life can be very hard, and I don’t fault anyone for prioritizing their life over a political situation that is so very hard to affect. I do appreciate those that dedicate themselves though, the ones that seem to be helping and not hurting, anyway.