[lukan]

Well, unfortunately I also have asked myself that question way too often, but I cannot agree on the "mostly miserable" part when comparing childless single persons and parents. Life can be hell, but with kids you don't ask the question so much why even get up - because the purpose is clear. There are people depending and counting on you.

[ryanmcl]

This matches my experience but I'd add a layer = purpose from kids isn't automatic. For years I had kids and still felt hollow because I was showing up physically but not really present. Getting sober changed that. Suddenly the purpose that was always there actually landed.

Then I did something unexpected...I started building. Taught myself to code at 45 while being a stay-at-home dad. Now I have both: the deep purpose of raising kids and the creative purpose of making something from nothing every day.

The combination is what did it for me. Kids alone didn't fix the emptiness. Building alone wouldn't have either. But kids gave me the reason to get up and building gave me something to look forward to after bedtime (and not the leftover scotch glass on my nightstand).

[tasuki]

> but with kids you don't ask the question so much why even get up - because the purpose is clear.

No question about that. My life has become simpler in many ways: the annoying big questions have gone away.