[maplethorpe]

I used to talk to strangers a lot when I was younger. But then I started getting older and more scary looking. I developed memories of older men making unwanted advances towards me. I became horribly afraid of making anyone else feel that way, so I stopped.

I know the article's advice is to take a chance, and if I scare someone else so be it. But something about that feels wrong to me.

[robocat]

Reaching middle age, as a guy I thought women were more open to friendliness. I have always assumed it was the shadow of a safe "friendly grandpa" effect. Older men have the opportunity to be seen as less intimidating (assuming you don't emit predator vibes).

Or perhaps alternately I've learnt over the years to be more genuinely friendly.

I've seen men and women attempting to start a friendly conversation and have it backfire - because others can tell if someone is needy. Sometimes people are desperate for a conversation, but they sadly frighten away everyone.

I've also really leant into starting conversations with other guys. The stereotype is a bunch of old men yacking about "boring" stuff, and you can totally just accept that and have fun talking about anything. It's only boring if you lack the wit to discern something interesting within a conversation.

There's also an art to looking approachable, so that others can initiate a conversation with you. I am not skilled at it, but I recognize it. Or alternatively recognizing when someone is open to having a conversation started.