Seriously, you're an idiot. If you escalate to violence the only thing you will achieve is that on top of being sued for whatever he's being sued for right now he's going to:
(1) hand a very large trump card or a free victory to the plaintiff in the other suit
It is not completely idiotic to resort to violence, it can be completely effective in many situations, but it is unwise if you aren't comfortable with it. You might end up with your own ass kicked and facing criminal charges if you don't succeed.
Intimidation would work much better here.
You have to create a convincing impression that you are willing to go way farther than he is. You have to look them in the eyes and let them know you mean business. The threat doesn't even have to be real, just make vague allusions to bad shit that's going to happen to them if they don't back off.
You have to dig deep down into that primal part of your brain and draw out dark feelings, then harness and direct them directly at your adversary. Get in his face. It's best to practice in a mirror. Helps if you've had any performing experience or even taken classes, they teach you how to be convincing. If it feels stupid, it will come off stupid, keep practicing until you can fool yourself. Think about various ways he'll respond and prepare for them.
Seriously, you're an idiot. If you escalate to violence the only thing you will achieve is that on top of being sued for whatever he's being sued for right now he's going to:
First, maybe he is an idiot, maybe he isn't, but I definitely don't think it is fair for his comment to be discounted as highly as it is, as quickly.
(1) hand a very large trump card or a free victory to the plaintiff in the other suit
I am no lawyer, but I doubt highly that a physical altercation will change the facts of the original lawsuit, so your assumption here seems false.
(2) quite possibly end up with a record to boot,
quite possible, but that record will stand as a message to future hostile parties. I'm not saying that's always good, it may prevent him from getting a job somewhere, etc., or it may not.
Violence is rarely the answer, but to be so flippant and assume it never is and say "you're an idiot" is really misunderstanding the power dynamic.
In America, the punishment for violence is high relative to the value in almost all cases but there are definitely situations where being a violent aggressor will payoff. I'm not advocating it here, in this case, or any other, but taking that option off the table completely is immature and shows a lack of understanding of how the real world can work.
To support my claim, I'll give an example of where violence was used effectively against me.
-
1) I had a car repainted when in high school (it has a lot of random damage and I needed to prevent it from rusting.)
2) I negotiated with an independent body shop
3) I had it repainted
4) They didn't do as good of a job as they described.
5) I came back to the body shop, my car was not there, one of the workers had taken it out on a beer run. He came back with the car and he was still drunk.
6) I confronted him in a professional but frustrated manor.
7) His coworker threatened me.
8) I realized I wasn't going to fight this guy without a weapon and decided to back down and just drop it.
The threat of violence worked for him and his coworker. Without it, they had zero negotiating room and the driver would have likely been fired. Could I have gone to the police? Maybe, but they likely wouldn't have done anything.
Judging from your panic reaction, you're either a narrow-minded person (an idiot, using your dictionary) or a person who's ass was recently kicked. Most likely you're both.
The fact that you didn't even apologize makes you an asshole as well.
In the future, please be polite and grateful to any advice you're given.
I've had many thoughts. I mostly think about an attorney I once worked with who told me that no startup would ever sue their employee because they'd never get anybody to work for them ever again. And then I thought, "gee, I should make a website that's like glassdoor specifically for startups."
When the issue is done and dusted, definitely write about it. Startups have to compete hard to get tech talent, and if you make your experience known you might save a lot of other people a lot of pain.
jacquesm|13 years ago
Seriously, you're an idiot. If you escalate to violence the only thing you will achieve is that on top of being sued for whatever he's being sued for right now he's going to:
(1) hand a very large trump card or a free victory to the plaintiff in the other suit
(2) quite possibly end up with a record to boot
vinceguidry|13 years ago
Intimidation would work much better here.
You have to create a convincing impression that you are willing to go way farther than he is. You have to look them in the eyes and let them know you mean business. The threat doesn't even have to be real, just make vague allusions to bad shit that's going to happen to them if they don't back off.
You have to dig deep down into that primal part of your brain and draw out dark feelings, then harness and direct them directly at your adversary. Get in his face. It's best to practice in a mirror. Helps if you've had any performing experience or even taken classes, they teach you how to be convincing. If it feels stupid, it will come off stupid, keep practicing until you can fool yourself. Think about various ways he'll respond and prepare for them.
wtvanhest|13 years ago
First, maybe he is an idiot, maybe he isn't, but I definitely don't think it is fair for his comment to be discounted as highly as it is, as quickly.
(1) hand a very large trump card or a free victory to the plaintiff in the other suit
I am no lawyer, but I doubt highly that a physical altercation will change the facts of the original lawsuit, so your assumption here seems false.
(2) quite possibly end up with a record to boot,
quite possible, but that record will stand as a message to future hostile parties. I'm not saying that's always good, it may prevent him from getting a job somewhere, etc., or it may not.
Violence is rarely the answer, but to be so flippant and assume it never is and say "you're an idiot" is really misunderstanding the power dynamic.
In America, the punishment for violence is high relative to the value in almost all cases but there are definitely situations where being a violent aggressor will payoff. I'm not advocating it here, in this case, or any other, but taking that option off the table completely is immature and shows a lack of understanding of how the real world can work.
To support my claim, I'll give an example of where violence was used effectively against me.
-
1) I had a car repainted when in high school (it has a lot of random damage and I needed to prevent it from rusting.)
2) I negotiated with an independent body shop
3) I had it repainted
4) They didn't do as good of a job as they described.
5) I came back to the body shop, my car was not there, one of the workers had taken it out on a beer run. He came back with the car and he was still drunk.
6) I confronted him in a professional but frustrated manor.
7) His coworker threatened me.
8) I realized I wasn't going to fight this guy without a weapon and decided to back down and just drop it.
The threat of violence worked for him and his coworker. Without it, they had zero negotiating room and the driver would have likely been fired. Could I have gone to the police? Maybe, but they likely wouldn't have done anything.
zura|13 years ago
The fact that you didn't even apologize makes you an asshole as well.
In the future, please be polite and grateful to any advice you're given.
exim|13 years ago
This was actually a first reaction for such an unfair situation one can fall no matter in how "civilized" or "developed" country he/she lives.
So after the first angriness goes away, one starts thinking rationally...
meerita|13 years ago
Never recur to violence. Never.
throwaway10283|13 years ago
untog|13 years ago
ceejayoz|13 years ago
Which would promptly be subject to defamation lawsuits. Heh.
torya|13 years ago
[deleted]