When I saw the title "I’m taking a break from my wife and kids" and actually started reading it, I was expecting a story about enthusiastic entrepreneur willing to sacrifice his family for his startup. On the contrary, it's a reminder what is really important, and that you can't fully understand it unless you have it, and then you lose it. We just take too much for granted.
I have this saying that I've been telling my 19 year old son since he could talk: "Too much of anything, except love, is a bad thing." I now tell that to my daughter who is 11. I don't know it's so much taking things for granted, more than being able to quickly identify which things in life give you the greatest return on joy and focusing on those. Chances are I couldn't handle talking to her all day and all night for a solid week, but I definitely know I start missing the little PITA when she is gone for more than a few days. I miss her because I love her and she brings me joy, but that doesn't mean she doesn't drive me, my wife and my son nuts when we are around her all the time. Ying and yang, baby.
Anytime I read a comment that uses "lifestyle business" as a demeaning term, I tend to think that whoever said it doesn't have a family, or is sadly missing out on them.
This comment comes from a lack of start-up experience. That being said, I've always been hesitant to work at a start up because of the potential long hours. I'm not afraid of working hard or intimidated...I just want time with my family and friends. I don't like the idea that if I sacrifice everything now, I'll rise up the career ladder and be at a wonderful spot. Well yeah, maybe that's true...but I probably won't be in my 20s, and maybe my 30s anymore, so I wont be able to run (literally) around as easily, or stay up as late having drinks with friends (those friends may then be married and not want to have late nights anymore).
As I mentioned, I have not worked at a start up, I'm relying on what I've heard through friends. Family and friends for me always come first.
You would be amazed how quickly friends lose their place in your life when you have your own family (significant one), and how they are completely irrelevant when you get kids. You might think now that friendship is forever, but it quickly fades away with every new child.
It's not that friends are not important anymore. They are, the same as before, but that's insignificant compared to the importance of your own children and own family.
> I’ve cried more than a few times since they’ve left, I’m sure I will a few more. The truth is that I don’t cry because I miss them, I cry because I never fully appreciated what they added to my life each day in the first place.
I've been away from my wife and kids for a 3 week stretch and never once did I feel like crying because I missed them. I did miss them, just not to the point of breaking down into tears:)
I'm not sure what that says about me and the poster. Is crying due to being away from your family a common reaction?
I think the important distinction is that he is at home in the regular environment. If you are away from home without the family, everything is different; while at home only the absence is different. This absence feels massive because of the magnitude of habits formed participating in a family unit.
No-one can tell you how you should or shouldn't feel but personally, I can empathise with the author.
I'd really struggle if I was away from my wife and son for three weeks or more. If it helps with context, I'm a big, old fashioned Irish guy who's dealt with a lot of hardship over the years and it takes a lot for me to end up near the point of tears but I could see this particular circumstance bringing me very close.
You seem to be confused: the author states "The truth is that I don’t cry because I miss them [...]" and then you go "[...] never once did I feel like crying because I missed them. I did miss them, just not to the point of breaking down into tears:)"
In any case it is likely the author's relations to his family and your relations to your family are different and as such you feel differently when separated. It is also likely the circumstances are different.
Sao Paolo is quite a ways away from Brooklyn. It's a rather long flight that's very expensive. It may not be feasible, either the time it takes or the money it takes.
The ending to the article is touching. In light of that what I am about to say is going to sound all the more heartless and I expect to get downvoted for it but I think that it has to be said:
If you really want to get things done, consider not having children (yet).
In my experience this applies to both men and women in demanding technical fields. You may argue that having children is worth it in spite of what it may do to your career but that's a different argument.
I don't know, I think I can relate to the crying. I think I gained a whole metric ton of empathy since having kids and get weepy at the silliest things sometimes where nothing ever phased me before I had kids :)
Lots of people have posted about cutting the clutter from their lives, to make life better. They say that cutting clutter makes you appreciate life more.
This guy is saying that his wife and children are away from him, and he really appreciates them now he knows what it's like without them.
[+] [-] levosmetalo|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] kordless|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] egb|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] unknown|12 years ago|reply
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[+] [-] thejacenxpress|12 years ago|reply
As I mentioned, I have not worked at a start up, I'm relying on what I've heard through friends. Family and friends for me always come first.
[+] [-] levosmetalo|12 years ago|reply
You would be amazed how quickly friends lose their place in your life when you have your own family (significant one), and how they are completely irrelevant when you get kids. You might think now that friendship is forever, but it quickly fades away with every new child.
It's not that friends are not important anymore. They are, the same as before, but that's insignificant compared to the importance of your own children and own family.
[+] [-] chollida1|12 years ago|reply
> I’ve cried more than a few times since they’ve left, I’m sure I will a few more. The truth is that I don’t cry because I miss them, I cry because I never fully appreciated what they added to my life each day in the first place.
I've been away from my wife and kids for a 3 week stretch and never once did I feel like crying because I missed them. I did miss them, just not to the point of breaking down into tears:)
I'm not sure what that says about me and the poster. Is crying due to being away from your family a common reaction?
[+] [-] mdlthree|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Peroni|12 years ago|reply
I'd really struggle if I was away from my wife and son for three weeks or more. If it helps with context, I'm a big, old fashioned Irish guy who's dealt with a lot of hardship over the years and it takes a lot for me to end up near the point of tears but I could see this particular circumstance bringing me very close.
[+] [-] shock|12 years ago|reply
In any case it is likely the author's relations to his family and your relations to your family are different and as such you feel differently when separated. It is also likely the circumstances are different.
[+] [-] general_failure|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] lifeisstillgood|12 years ago|reply
Bury yourself in work only helps for a while. Fly down more often.
[+] [-] endersshadow|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] NotUncivil|12 years ago|reply
If you really want to get things done, consider not having children (yet).
In my experience this applies to both men and women in demanding technical fields. You may argue that having children is worth it in spite of what it may do to your career but that's a different argument.
[+] [-] NirDremer|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] craigching|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] dasil003|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] DanBC|12 years ago|reply
This guy is saying that his wife and children are away from him, and he really appreciates them now he knows what it's like without them.
TL:DR Absence makes the heart grow fonder
[+] [-] kevin818|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Hisoka|12 years ago|reply
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[+] [-] ijoyce|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Dirlewanger|12 years ago|reply