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Fuck Off As A Service (FOAAS)

486 points| choult | 12 years ago |foaas.com | reply

105 comments

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[+] binarymax|12 years ago|reply
Feature request:

     /shakespeare/:name/:from
returns ':name, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - :from'

e.g. /shakespeare/Falstaff/Prince%20Henry returns 'Falstaff, Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch! - Prince Henry'

[+] _dark_matter_|12 years ago|reply
I was thinking:

  /python/:from
returns 'Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! -:from'

Not quite as classy, though.

[+] keninglis|12 years ago|reply
In the spirit of Postel's Robustness principle, please also handle Shakespeare, Shakespear, Shakspeare and Shakspere
[+] 16s|12 years ago|reply
Telnet is simpler... I call this my random insult service and it can run on any TCP port. It's not as rude as saying "Fuck Off" as it is meant to be humorous and is intended for all the script-kiddie port scanners out there:

    telnet 108.4.184.93
[+] sillysaurus|12 years ago|reply
This is great!

In case anyone without telnet wants to see: here are 46 insults from that telnet service. http://pastebin.com/6SP2PucG

I'm partial to "Your IQ is the same as the temperature in this room. And it's cold in here."

[+] kalleboo|12 years ago|reply
telnet: connect to address 108.4.184.93: Operation timed out

telnet: Unable to connect to remote host

[+] maaaats|12 years ago|reply
> Not Written in Mozart.

I thought they were talking about this mozart programming system: http://www.mozart-oz.org/ And thought to myself "who would ever write anything big in that"?

[+] dasil003|12 years ago|reply
Cute. But now you're on the hook to maintain it, and I can already see the abuse you'll have to take from your target demographic whenever this goes down.
[+] DanWaterworth|12 years ago|reply
Maybe the target demographic will become so dependent on this service, that they'll be unable to hurl abuse without it.
[+] sigkill|12 years ago|reply
They couldn't possibly abuse him while the service is down...
[+] JonSkeptic|12 years ago|reply
Name collision!

I've been telling people to do me a service and fuck off for years!

[+] lotsofcows|12 years ago|reply
I think there's an extraneous parameter in /this/:from Oh, and minor niggle, you haven't replaced :from in the final three examples.

Also, please can you add localisation? The word "donut" makes me feel physically sick. http://foaas.com/you/%22donuts%22/lotsofcows

[+] squid_ca|12 years ago|reply
For the ultimate "fuck you", this should be written to use SOAP.
[+] boomlinde|12 years ago|reply
SOAP, by passing it escaped XML blobs in string containers.
[+] wilhil|12 years ago|reply
And this has much better documentation than many APIs I have to use!
[+] MattBearman|12 years ago|reply
Legendary! Always good to have an early afternoon laugh :) I shall be spreading this forthwith!
[+] toyg|12 years ago|reply
Italians (well, many of them) can use this localised version, "SAAS: Soccmel As A Service": http://soccmel.taldeg.me/
[+] terabytest|12 years ago|reply
Damn, I'm 100% Italian and don't understand half of the words in it. Gotta hate dialects.
[+] devgutt|12 years ago|reply
This should use POST instead of GET, because you are proposing an action.
[+] toyg|12 years ago|reply
But the messaging system is idempotent! The behaviour of 3rd-party endpoints is undetermined.

This calls for a standard! The Fuck-Off Protocol, or FOP, will soon have an rfc, a mailing list, and three incompatible implementations.

[+] nicholassmith|12 years ago|reply
They should put the source up somewhere, I'd love to see what the filthy minds of the hacker community could add on.
[+] Jd|12 years ago|reply
Didn't zedshaw already design something like this? Where is he when you need him?
[+] jjsz|12 years ago|reply
I thought this was going to be a list of all the services who can fuck off, like AT&T and Time Warner Cable, with an API to either: launch a DDoS attack at them, formally fuck them off by sending them a letter or a proper complaint to the correct address, while connecting your social media accounts with the correct hashtags- updating your status. Telling actual _people_ to fuck off caught me off guard...then I got the joke of applying an API to everything, especially if it's easier to do it in person...You should add mailing real letters if enough people request the service.
[+] tehwebguy|12 years ago|reply
License? Can't use this without one.
[+] Narretz|12 years ago|reply
The "Do What the Fuck You Want to Public License" seems appropriate, in tone and language.

http://www.wtfpl.net/