[scarybootstrap]

Yes, me again, and that's exactly what I was saying: S/he was being taunted by his/her friend, as she murdered herself, while OP was helpless to do anything but listen.

As I said: I know how that feels.

Generally people side emotionally with the person who ended their life, but when they deliberately call you up, taunt you, laugh at you while you desperately try to help them… that's murder in my book. Maybe it's a murder under the influence, but it's awful and it's cruel in addition to desperately sad. No wonder a memorial doesn't help you feel better, because it memorializes your lost friend, and the person who viciously taunted you while killing them. "I'm going to make you listen." And you know the murderer will never be brought to justice, and it's probably awful to be angry at them (and people don't want to hear what happened anyway, and if you tell them, they act like "Oh they were just ill" and you have no right to hate the murderer, etc, etc).

You can't comfort yourself with the thought that you didn't know, that you couldn't have known. (Common suicide coping technique.)

You can't say, "S/he was in so much pain, now at peace" -- because they dragged you with them.

You can't tell yourself any of the pleasant lies. And, you can rarely if ever tell the story, because nobody wants to hear it… just about everybody sympathizes with the one person who doesn't need it any more (who's beyond sympathy now, unlike you, as you get more and more scarred).

And, in my experience, the successful suicide attempt is not the first time this scenario played out, just the unfortunate last one.

As I said: I know how that feels. I bet the poor commenter I replied to understood me.

I'm truly glad that the people who downvoted me almost surely have never had to experience it. Good. Keep it that way.