[philstu]

Hold on, why was my response badly researched?

The point was that NodeJS and PHP were pretty close, and I posted (before the update) that I'm sure Node could go quicker.

You run either of them in suicide mode to RUN ALL THE CONNECTIONS and you'll get a speed up. The point is that NodeJS is not magically 4 or 5 times faster than PHP, they're about the same when you the packages you use support the async approach. This update proves they're exactly the same, but similarity is all I was going for.