Big fan of your writing. Please do write and sorry for your loss. Recently I have been trying to grasp the absurdity of life and I think truly realizing that, is a really worthwhile effort. How crazy it is that there is little blue planet floating in space around a star that is one of 100 billion billion stars and we are living on it without giving it a second thought in our day to day activities.
I agree that life is short, but I think you deserve the time to tinker with your laptop (or similar). You were enjoying it or you probably wouldn't be doing it. It's like solving a puzzle, it's worthwhile.
That said, I would (selfishly) love to read more writings. Thanks.
You try to do everything right (helmet, bike lane, daylight riding), and then a police car runs you over and kills you.
Sometimes I don't know why I bother doing anything except spending time with my family. I tell myself that I've got to pay the bills, be an adult, etc., but is it really worth it when everything can be over in an instant?
Now I'm depressing myself. Maybe reading another couple HN articles will cheer me up...
I tell myself that I've got to pay the bills, be an adult, etc., but is it really worth it when everything can be over in an instant?
One of the reasons we work is to obtain the means to do nice things with family. E.g. travelling to some beautiful mountain range and enjoying it together. Family life becomes better with variety and new experiences.
We should draw the line at somewhere. If we are working ten hour days six days a week, we have lost balance. Unfortunately, the income distribution seems to become so bad that a considerable amount of the population can do nothing else than to work.
Spend time with your family, please do. That matters.
But don't let the possibility of loss prevent you from learning, from growing, from experiencing joy. Protect and insure yourself, yes. But don't turn away from living. Create and build things you can be proud of (especially family). internet hug
It's a fair question, and I think we all need to strike that balance.
Spend 100% of time with family, and you cease to be your own person, your identity linked with theirs. Spend no time with your family, and you're filled with regret when it's too late.
Right now my parents live across the country, and given realities of day to day life (economics, vacation days, etc) it's tough to make it work for in person.
But we talk every few days to bridge divide. They still feel far away though.
So all I can say is find a way to see your family a little more than you do now. Keep repeating until you find your balance.
I've always been bothered by what I call this 'life-perspective problem", and of course, I'm always bothered more when something horrible like this happens. (The preceding statement has its own problem buried in it- because something horrible is always happening, at every second.)
I've spoken about it in other forms- "procrastination should be solved by lighting fires, not filling buckets" and so on. There is powerful emotional energy to be harnessed, but a lot of us (maybe just me, but clearly others too) have no idea how to manipulate it effectively, so we typically go without it. When we do get a flash of inspiration, the energy needs to go into a system where it generates something lasting- otherwise we just get the one-off blogpost or product that doesn't go anywhere. We get tired and everyday life dehumanizes us again.
It's the same central idea: Can we modify our circumstances and environment such that they remind us of the things that matter, in a way that disrupts us from settling into sub-optimal comfort zones?
I used to think that maybe this was a self-indulgent problem that I had, simply romanticizing the moping around, but clearly it afflicts even highly productive and accomplished persons like Mr. Sivers. Clearly this is a broader human problem- our inability to contextualize things, to see the bigger broader picture except when it's too late, or when we're unexpectedly inspired.
Is meditation the solution? I think meditation is a practice that encourages the broadening of perspective, but I'm sure there are other ways to reach the same destination- I'm sure we could design for it into our media, into our daily lives.
There is some very meaningful work to be done in this "perspective/reminder" space, but I don't know what exactly, and I don't know how to do it. But I'd like to get involved in it somehow, someday, before it's too late.
I hope this is helpful to someone. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for reading.
There is some very meaningful work to be done in this "perspective/reminder" space
This falls under the category of "knowing thyself". Each man must learn his own rhythms and behaviors well enough to build a system custom-tailored to his needs - and adapt it as he changes, too.
Even in something as simple as the Lord's prayer ("Give us today our daily bread..."), we are taught that, yes, this sort of perspective shift is required daily. And to skip it means that one will begin to drift. I heard a great phrase once, and it's that "vision leaks."
Whether in your own life or leading an organization, if you are not daily renewing the "stickiness" of your vision, it will leak.
I like to keep an ever-changing whiteboard (otherwise my brain soon ignores it) of short reminders on the wall next to my front door, and also a plain notebook that I carry everywhere for weekly to-do / prayer / big-picture reminders. Journaling helps too, but I don't do that daily.
The thing that ties it all together though is the daily restoration via a relationship with Christ, I am always learning something new in prayer and through reading the Bible. Many on HN would deny and balk at the existence of a man's soul/spirit, but what you're talking about missing has been known for thousands of years as daily spiritual renewal.
If you think the answer is a daily ritual like meditation, you'll simply grow tired of that habit quite soon. And rightfully so, it entirely misses the point of what God intended - a grace-filled and dynamic daily relationship with Him.
Riding bikes is super dangerous. I always slow down and give bikes a lot of space. I also think bike riders should ride on slower, non-busy roads whenever possible, but I'm not at all blaming bike riders.
This doesn't really tell the whole story. Riding bikes is dangerous, but the real danger here is driving a car.
When you're driving a car you are in charge of a multi-thousand pound hunk of metal with more momentum than most people can even comprehend, and the slightest jerk of a wheel can send it careening off in a completely different direction in milliseconds.
On a bike or walking with your own two feet, you're always in danger when the operator of a car isn't performing their due responsibilities.
To Sivers, I'm sorry for your loss. This article is an inspiration, and a remarkably poignant commentary on how to best make use of our fleeting time.
Without some pretty sophisticated data, I'm not sure this is true. About 30,000 people die in car accidents every year, which I wrote more about here: http://blog.seliger.com/2013/11/10/foundations-give-away-fiv... . I don't know how many died on bikes or how many miles people bike versus how many they drive.
But car accidents are so common that even deaths often don't register on the news.
There's also an interesting question about the effects of biking and other exercise on health; riding may have salutary health benefits that driving doesn't. I don't know of any studies that examine such effects but would be happy to see any studies on the issue.
I pretty much never get angry, but if I am a passenger in a car where the driver acts aggressively towards pedestrians or bicyclists, I totally lose my shit.
Part of getting drivers to behave better is to provide disparagement of driving aggressively from within their own car. You'd be surprised how many drivers are completely non-chalant to actively dismissive of the care and attention they should pay to others on the road not protected by a 6000 lb metal shell. That metal shell fosters road rage and road carelessness by disconnecting the drivers from the world around them. However, that metal shell won't protect them from being judged by their passengers.
Riding bikes is only dangerous in countries where murdering cyclists is apparently okay.
I found the account of the accident shocking. Of course being from the Netherlands I'm extremely biased, but from my perspective these kind of American "driver kills cyclist" accidents I keep reading are as insane as "accidentally" killing someone whilst "accidentally" pointing a loaded gun at their heads. Even with a car it's hard to kill a cyclist by accident, unless the accident results in a very unlucky fall.
Having cars around is super dangerous. It's rare for a cyclist or pedestrian to just trip themselves and fall over dead. It takes a car with a negligent or ioditic driver to run them over (and consequently, not get prosecuted because it's implied that the cyclist had it coming!). Take away the cars and instantaneously, we would eliminates hundreds of thousands of deaths. Factor in increased exercise and it's almost laughable that we're not doing this.
"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."
This was a cyclist doing, by all accounts, everything absolutely and completely right. Speculation is absolutely useless if not crass right now given this terrible, unnecessary loss, but historic odds favor the driver (an officer) being distracted in some manner, which is a growing concern that everyone in this industry needs to keep in mind.
Sorry for your loss. I used to ride my bike everywhere when I was in my late teens; these days I can't imagine doing that. All it takes is one distracted driver to cause terrible loss.
Derek -- This is a nice piece in a difficult time. I am childhood friends with one of Milt's sons and know his family appreciates all the love being sent their way. Thank you for sharing with everyone.
It took a death in my family to make me realize that I needed to "start writing again". That was several years ago and I see myself in some of the old ruts and in some that are newly worn. I wonder how many tragedies before I learn my lesson.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I've never lost a close friend so I have no idea what you are going through, but obviously if there is anything we can do to help just put out the word.
[+] [-] sivers|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ChuckMcM|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] 31reasons|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] 8ig8|12 years ago|reply
I agree that life is short, but I think you deserve the time to tinker with your laptop (or similar). You were enjoying it or you probably wouldn't be doing it. It's like solving a puzzle, it's worthwhile.
That said, I would (selfishly) love to read more writings. Thanks.
[+] [-] outside1234|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] hudibras|12 years ago|reply
Sometimes I don't know why I bother doing anything except spending time with my family. I tell myself that I've got to pay the bills, be an adult, etc., but is it really worth it when everything can be over in an instant?
Now I'm depressing myself. Maybe reading another couple HN articles will cheer me up...
[+] [-] microtonal|12 years ago|reply
One of the reasons we work is to obtain the means to do nice things with family. E.g. travelling to some beautiful mountain range and enjoying it together. Family life becomes better with variety and new experiences.
We should draw the line at somewhere. If we are working ten hour days six days a week, we have lost balance. Unfortunately, the income distribution seems to become so bad that a considerable amount of the population can do nothing else than to work.
[+] [-] visakanv|12 years ago|reply
But don't let the possibility of loss prevent you from learning, from growing, from experiencing joy. Protect and insure yourself, yes. But don't turn away from living. Create and build things you can be proud of (especially family). internet hug
[+] [-] xivzgrev|12 years ago|reply
Spend 100% of time with family, and you cease to be your own person, your identity linked with theirs. Spend no time with your family, and you're filled with regret when it's too late.
Right now my parents live across the country, and given realities of day to day life (economics, vacation days, etc) it's tough to make it work for in person.
But we talk every few days to bridge divide. They still feel far away though.
So all I can say is find a way to see your family a little more than you do now. Keep repeating until you find your balance.
[+] [-] visakanv|12 years ago|reply
I've spoken about it in other forms- "procrastination should be solved by lighting fires, not filling buckets" and so on. There is powerful emotional energy to be harnessed, but a lot of us (maybe just me, but clearly others too) have no idea how to manipulate it effectively, so we typically go without it. When we do get a flash of inspiration, the energy needs to go into a system where it generates something lasting- otherwise we just get the one-off blogpost or product that doesn't go anywhere. We get tired and everyday life dehumanizes us again.
It's the same central idea: Can we modify our circumstances and environment such that they remind us of the things that matter, in a way that disrupts us from settling into sub-optimal comfort zones?
I used to think that maybe this was a self-indulgent problem that I had, simply romanticizing the moping around, but clearly it afflicts even highly productive and accomplished persons like Mr. Sivers. Clearly this is a broader human problem- our inability to contextualize things, to see the bigger broader picture except when it's too late, or when we're unexpectedly inspired.
Is meditation the solution? I think meditation is a practice that encourages the broadening of perspective, but I'm sure there are other ways to reach the same destination- I'm sure we could design for it into our media, into our daily lives.
There is some very meaningful work to be done in this "perspective/reminder" space, but I don't know what exactly, and I don't know how to do it. But I'd like to get involved in it somehow, someday, before it's too late.
I hope this is helpful to someone. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for reading.
[+] [-] kirse|12 years ago|reply
This falls under the category of "knowing thyself". Each man must learn his own rhythms and behaviors well enough to build a system custom-tailored to his needs - and adapt it as he changes, too.
Even in something as simple as the Lord's prayer ("Give us today our daily bread..."), we are taught that, yes, this sort of perspective shift is required daily. And to skip it means that one will begin to drift. I heard a great phrase once, and it's that "vision leaks."
Whether in your own life or leading an organization, if you are not daily renewing the "stickiness" of your vision, it will leak.
I like to keep an ever-changing whiteboard (otherwise my brain soon ignores it) of short reminders on the wall next to my front door, and also a plain notebook that I carry everywhere for weekly to-do / prayer / big-picture reminders. Journaling helps too, but I don't do that daily.
The thing that ties it all together though is the daily restoration via a relationship with Christ, I am always learning something new in prayer and through reading the Bible. Many on HN would deny and balk at the existence of a man's soul/spirit, but what you're talking about missing has been known for thousands of years as daily spiritual renewal.
If you think the answer is a daily ritual like meditation, you'll simply grow tired of that habit quite soon. And rightfully so, it entirely misses the point of what God intended - a grace-filled and dynamic daily relationship with Him.
[+] [-] andrewb|12 years ago|reply
I too would like to have an answer but having the question is the most important thing.
http://kiriakakis.net/comics/mused/a-day-at-the-park
[+] [-] nataraja|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] leokun|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mikegreco|12 years ago|reply
When you're driving a car you are in charge of a multi-thousand pound hunk of metal with more momentum than most people can even comprehend, and the slightest jerk of a wheel can send it careening off in a completely different direction in milliseconds.
On a bike or walking with your own two feet, you're always in danger when the operator of a car isn't performing their due responsibilities.
To Sivers, I'm sorry for your loss. This article is an inspiration, and a remarkably poignant commentary on how to best make use of our fleeting time.
[+] [-] jseliger|12 years ago|reply
Without some pretty sophisticated data, I'm not sure this is true. About 30,000 people die in car accidents every year, which I wrote more about here: http://blog.seliger.com/2013/11/10/foundations-give-away-fiv... . I don't know how many died on bikes or how many miles people bike versus how many they drive.
But car accidents are so common that even deaths often don't register on the news.
There's also an interesting question about the effects of biking and other exercise on health; riding may have salutary health benefits that driving doesn't. I don't know of any studies that examine such effects but would be happy to see any studies on the issue.
[+] [-] malandrew|12 years ago|reply
Part of getting drivers to behave better is to provide disparagement of driving aggressively from within their own car. You'd be surprised how many drivers are completely non-chalant to actively dismissive of the care and attention they should pay to others on the road not protected by a 6000 lb metal shell. That metal shell fosters road rage and road carelessness by disconnecting the drivers from the world around them. However, that metal shell won't protect them from being judged by their passengers.
[+] [-] bowlofpetunias|12 years ago|reply
I found the account of the accident shocking. Of course being from the Netherlands I'm extremely biased, but from my perspective these kind of American "driver kills cyclist" accidents I keep reading are as insane as "accidentally" killing someone whilst "accidentally" pointing a loaded gun at their heads. Even with a car it's hard to kill a cyclist by accident, unless the accident results in a very unlucky fall.
[+] [-] Widdershin|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Steltek|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] moocowduckquack|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] unknown|12 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] agilebyte|12 years ago|reply
1) Under low light conditions
2) When trucks are around
3) When said trucks turn left and you are going straight (for people cycling/driving on the left)
No surprises there.
[+] [-] corresation|12 years ago|reply
This was a cyclist doing, by all accounts, everything absolutely and completely right. Speculation is absolutely useless if not crass right now given this terrible, unnecessary loss, but historic odds favor the driver (an officer) being distracted in some manner, which is a growing concern that everyone in this industry needs to keep in mind.
[+] [-] sergiotapia|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] menosee|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] iamthepieman|12 years ago|reply
It took a death in my family to make me realize that I needed to "start writing again". That was several years ago and I see myself in some of the old ruts and in some that are newly worn. I wonder how many tragedies before I learn my lesson.
[+] [-] 3pt14159|12 years ago|reply
I'm so sorry for your loss, I've never lost a close friend so I have no idea what you are going through, but obviously if there is anything we can do to help just put out the word.
[+] [-] javindo|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] donretag|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sivers|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sidcool|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] camkego|12 years ago|reply
[+] [-] jarnix|12 years ago|reply