[darthclue]

Our loan is a 30 year term, cause ya know when you're 35 you don't expect to die in 2 years. Getting it re-financed isn't really an available option at this point.

If you feel that your money is better spent donating to a cancer research center, then please do. But your jealousy is seriously mis-placed and you are seriously confused with regards to my motives. I'm not any more worthy of this than the next guy. That's the simple truth. And asking for help of any kind is the last thing I want to do. But I also can't just die and leave my family to suffer and fight for themselves. My human nature tells me that I should do everything I can to take care of them and to take care of those around me. I can't count the number of times I've done something for a complete stranger, like paying for their meal, just because I felt that I had been blessed that day and there was a need to pass it on.

Even as I sit here and look at what happened with this today I am torn between actually using the donations to pay off our housing and transportation debts along with my final resting place or just giving the money to someone else who needs it more than I do. It is not easy being in the position where I know what my family needs and knowing that there are others who deserve so much more.

I'm sorry that no one was there when your girlfriend died. That is truly sad and shouldn't happen to anyone. I can only hope that you find it in your heart to give something to someone and realize that when you need it most someone will be there for you.

[ilovecookies]

I reeeally hope so but I wouldn't count on random people giving me money at all. Hope you are not saying that to make me feel guilty about not giving $$$ to you.

"Even as I sit here and look at what happened with this today I am torn between actually using the donations to pay off our housing and transportation debts along with my final resting place or just giving the money to someone else who needs it more than I do."

Yes, you should be.

If you are really in a dire situation maybe you should look into getting money from the government by participating in research and stuff like that. That's what I would do if I were in your situation.

Hope your last time on this planet is good. This is a process everyone will have to experience eventually I'm afraid. No matter if you are young or old. Crazy thing is that everything will just keep moving on, your kids will grow up, maybe have kids of their own and eventually, in a long time, themselves face the same situation. It's an endless cycle these lives. Even if we can't recognize that because we're stuck in the middle of it trying to make money for our future or something else we aren't sure about.

This is a really good book by the way. Helped me get through the hard times. Although im not sure the english translation is that good.

http://www.amazon.com/Inger-Christensen/dp/0811215946

Good luck. Hope your funding goes well and that it will make you happy.