[darthclue]

Comfortable? Yes. Out of touch with you and your poor friends? You know nothing of my life.

I've worked my ass of to get where I am and while you may find our expenses excessive I would point out that they are what meet our needs and keeps us financially secure. Do I like asking for help? Hell no. As a matter of fact, this has been one of the hardest parts of this whole process. As I've been forced to accept that I will die and will likely leave my wife with debts that cannot be repaid I have to consider what will really happen. Without a home, she moves in with her parents. This isn't a bad scenario but it's also not the best scenario. Without the van, she has no way to provide for the basic needs of our children like taking them to the doctor. Note, her parents live in the boonies, there is no public transportation. The cost of a funeral? Have you priced these recently? They aren't cheap no matter how you look at it. And there are far more decisions that go into this than how cheap it is. This has long-lasting emotional impact on my wife, my kids, my mother, my grandmother and a host of other relatives. I can only hope you have people in your life who you care about enough to actually think before you act in the event of your death.

And the moment you begin to think you know anything about how anyone grew up or how hard they've worked to get where they are or how happy they are, you need to stop and rethink your own priorities and happiness. This isn't about things or happiness, this is about security and easing the pain of my death. Memories will make them happier than anything else I can do and we have memories in this house and in that van. And the moment you think I have a sense of entitlement is the moment you need to go down to the nearest shelter and volunteer. You'll soon discover just how entitled you think you are and realize just how wrong you are.

May you find peace and experience true humility before it's too late.

[aestra]

>the cost of a funeral? Have you priced these recently? They aren't cheap no matter how you look at it.

Yes, I have. We spent 10 grand on my grandmas funeral and she had per bought her plot. Still a luxury item. If it were my choice I would never do that, but it wasn't my choice. Nobody needs an expensive funeral, come on. Wedding and funerals are now overrun by their respective industries trying to sell sell sell. Inventing new things you "need."

See these for more:

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/525561.The_American_Way_o...

http://funeral-tips.com/how-to-plan-an-affordable-funeral-2/

>Without a home, she moves in with her parents.

Or you know, rent.

>Without the van, she has no way to provide for the basic needs of our children like taking them to the doctor.

You don't need a $20,000 van to take your kids to the doctor, you can do it in a $10,000 van. You however don't want to downgrade. My point was you're putting the expensive van (which requires a car payment) over spending your money on experiences with your wife and children.

>need to go down to the nearest shelter and volunteer

I do my volunteer work, though not at a homeless shelter. I also donate lots of toiletries to our local homeless shelter on a regular basis. In my adult life I've also been around, befriended, and talked to many many homeless people and people with significant health problems due to the places I've been.

>I can only hope you have people in your life who you care about enough to actually think before you act in the event of your death.

I made my wishes very very clear. I would like to be cremated as soon as possible. No embalming. I don't want onlookers gawking at my dead body and no stupid funeral home upgrades. I've said it here in this comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7391663 I think my friends and family should then throw a party honoring my life if they choose to.

I did something similar with my wedding and stayed out of the wedding industry almost completely. I had an out of touch friend say "You have to spend over $20,000 on a wedding and I was getting the base packages!" um... no... If you stop with the consumerism then you realize that isn't the case at all.

A family friend died while his kids were out of the country. They cremated him right away and waited for the kids to get back to have an event to celebrate his life. It was in a park and it was a wonderful tribute.

>this is about security and easing the pain of my death

Cutting back your lifestyle will provide much more financial security now and in the future.

>we have memories in this house and in that van

They are just things. Objects. Stuff.