"Bill and I talk about this with our kids at the dinner table. Bill worked incredibly hard and took risks and made sacrifices for success. But there is another essential ingredient of success, and that ingredient is luck – absolute and total luck.
When were you born? Who were your parents? Where did you grow up? None of us earned these things. They were given to us."
Totally true, and very important to remember, especially for the HN crowd.
> Melinda: Let your heart break. It will change what you do with your optimism. On a trip to South Asia, I met a desperately poor mother who brought me her two small children and implored me: "Please take them home with you." When I begged her forgiveness and said I could not, she said: "Then please take one." . . . When I talk with the mothers I meet during my travels, I see that there is no difference at all in what we want for our children. The only difference is our ability to give it to them.
This is such a tremendously important message that I don't think you can even hope to accurately perceive the world without really internalizing it.
The other day, someone told me a story. He was working maintenance in an apartment building, and went into a unit one day. Inside the unit, he saw a couple passed out on the couch, and a baby screaming in his crib. He went over to the baby, and saw a cockroach crawl out of his diaper. The diaper was stuck to the baby's skin. He called 9/11 immediately, the police came, and the building fired his maintenance company for not going to the building management first. This wasn't South Asia, it was here in the U.S.
I heard that story, and then thought about how our daycare e-mails me daily an itemized list of the time of every diaper change and whether it was wet and/or BM. I thought about how unfair it is that she started life with a leg-up, from the hospital where she took her first breath, and yet how I'm totally driven to give her every unfair benefit I can ("you know honey, we could afford private school from pre-K if we budget carefully"). Intellectually, we want life to be fair for everyone, but being a parent means having this overwhelming urge to clear the path ahead for your offspring, burning down the forest if you have to.
I'm certainly not going to send my daughter to an inner-city public school to make a point. What gets to me is our inability as a society to acknowledge the cognitive dissonance, and speak about this issue honestly outside of graduation speeches. To talk about traits like intelligence and patience in terms of what they are: winnings in the genetic lottery, rather than as the result of moral virtue. To acknowledge that "equality of opportunity" is a vicious fiction and understand that not as a call to any particular political ideology, but as a fact of the universe that we must reconcile with any political ideology.
It's not a level playing field that's true, but too much of this thinking enables us to fall into a very convenient trap when we fail, and general outlook about the real reasons for our circumstances. That it's all nature and nurture and we have no free will and no real control over our destinies.
This idea should be met with violent resistance. Free will doesn't only exist, it's the only thing that matters. If I have no control over my life then I have no life.
I see this as part of the current public debate about haves and have-nots, growing inequality, etc.. which is an important debate. It's nice that the richest persons in the world have some humility about their success and speak so publicly, but we must not fall into the trap that luck and things outside our control are really what matters.
People born with nothing make it huge, rich kids with everything become total failures. This is absolute proof that free will exists and is what matters most.
My friends and I realize both this, but we draw different conclusions from it. Some of my friends have an attitude of, "we are so lucky to be born with the advantages we have, we should live simply, strive not for material success but just personal fulfillment."
At first I thought that was a great philosophy, to just be content with what you have (look at how little others have!). However, the more I think about it, the the more I realize that this attitude is a waste of an opportunity. We are given such a prime position to make a difference. My attitude is: work hard, strive for success, and use your success to give back and help others in need. I could do the minimum and support just myself and be content, but I could also push myself and make lots of money, and use it to help many people. I guess Gates is the best example of this.
I'm fine with attributing a small part of success to luck. I'm not fine when lots of people just assume that the only reason you are ever successful is due to luck.
We can go further, though. Intelligence and tenacity are also things that were given to us. You don't choose to be smart, nor do you choose to be hardworking.
Reminder: you aren't Bill or Melinda Gates, but you are still rich from software. Maybe you could spend some of your funny money on someone else's healthcare?
I just sponsored a hysterectomy for $180 (1 year of Netflix) in 3 clicks on Watsi. That's crazy.
We made a donation to watsi today too, as part of our in-house flossing contest. A dry-erase marker and a bathroom mirror keeps the tally, and about once a month, someone wins. When the tally gets reset, the total number of flosses is donated, in dollar form, to a charity.
You win, because $1/floss is worth it in aggregate to prevent future dental bills. Someone else wins, because they get the treatment they need to live a better life.
I don't give to healthcare ATM, but I do give to the "current me" feels strongly about -- organizations such as EFF, Mozilla foundation, etc. I also support my nuclear-fusion-researcher friend's dance group, since he could be easily making $200k+ on Wall Street yet has chosen to make ~$30k as a PhD student for a worthy cause.
I'm hoping that as I mature, I'll be expanding the range of causes to which I will be giving to.
$180 isn't really "1 year of Netflix" -- you already bought 1 year of Netflix, and you have more money... you'd need to buy so much to run out of money... is it all improving your life at the margin, buying Netflix and Hulu and cable and HBO and ....?
I've long guessed, and this OP reinforces that, that
much of what Bill and Melinda are doing now was
driven by Melinda 'selling' Bill on some
values that Melinda deeply held and got from
her nuns and the Catholic church. But, yes, the
story of Bill's visit to Soweto showed that
some of Bill's own experiences made him fertile
ground for Melinda's values and goals.
I may be underestimating Bill's initial drive
for their work now, but generally I have to
guess that Melinda is the main hero here.
Oh, not to forget, one little thing Melinda did:
She talked both Bill and Warren into handing over,
what, ballpark $100 billion? Then for her second
day, the set up a value that all wealthy people
should give about 50% of their wealth to
philanthropy and got, apparently, quite a list
of wealthy people to do just that.
Another good thing to respect about them clearly
seems to be their marriage; it looks like
on of their beet examples. Perhaps not just
coincidentally, their love and relationship,
if more widely followed, would have helped
those woman and children abandoned in South Asia.
My view is that their example of a good marriage
is huge not just for themselves but for
their goals of curing poverty, that is, it is
easy to see that letting marriage break is one
of the biggest wastes in civilization, in particular,
leading to poverty and the problems they are now
trying to solve.
Why so many people are so eager
to bust up their marriages, or just not be very
devoted to each other at all, seems to be a
grand determination to extract miserable defeat from
the voracious jaws of magnificent victory and just
inexplicable.
This is so, so good. An upvote alone is not enough to get across how much I appreciate this. These are the principles I've built the plans for my entire life around, these principles are at the core of who I am as a person. Seeing such an eloquently put and important message like this appreciated by so many people is absolutely incredible. Huge, huge respect for bill and melinda gates for the work that they have done and the good message they are spreading.
I know it's cliche to have the founder of Microsoft be your idol person when going into software development, but Bill Gates is certainly worthy of that position. We at HN (an overwhelming portion, anyway) are so comfortable in our lives. Even little sacrifices could change the world for some of those less fortunate. Imagine what big sacrifices could do - they could change entire villages, countries, even continents. Think big. Even if you aim to help millions and only affect a few, your work was not in vain.
This was truly phenomenal. I grew up in some of the poorest places, went through a lot of shit before things got better. It is really really hard to go through all that and come out with optimism and hope for the world, or even think you can make a difference as one human. Good on the Gates for believing that and having the resources to push this forward.
> "If we have optimism, but we don't have empathy – then it doesn't matter how much we master the secrets of science, we're not really solving problems; we're just working on puzzles." Brilliant and moving!
I wonder why these scumbags choose my country ( India ) for painting poor life conditions always ? Agreed, there are cases of extreme poverty, but so in US, Africa, Brazil ( yeah, hosting world cup !) , Eastern Europe etc.
Why pick India for prostitution ? As if in US there is no prostitution.
Why not pick on own country. Just look at backpage.com thousands and thousands of girls doing open prostitution. How is that good thing ? or not a poor thing ?
I wonder if there was political agenda for picking India ( since we are good friends with Russia ).
Bill Gates is not a hero. Did you read stories from Paul Allen ( another co-founder those who don't know )?
Why Stanford , a prestigious university, would invite such scumbags ?
If Gates favors so much of charity why not donate everything except $1 Billion ? Are $1 billion not sufficient to live for rest of the life ?
Is his charity ( which comes to around 30 %) a simply proxy for tax saving ??
Whatever may be reason , please stop painting India a bad country.
I am from India , lived in America for 10 yrs before returning , travelled all over US and I can tell you there are classes, hungry people, children / women related crimes all over the place. So first look at your own country, how they are killing people in other countries and then lecture others.
Worst commencement speech in history of Stanford I would say.
[+] [-] sz4kerto|11 years ago|reply
When were you born? Who were your parents? Where did you grow up? None of us earned these things. They were given to us."
Totally true, and very important to remember, especially for the HN crowd.
[+] [-] rayiner|11 years ago|reply
> Melinda: Let your heart break. It will change what you do with your optimism. On a trip to South Asia, I met a desperately poor mother who brought me her two small children and implored me: "Please take them home with you." When I begged her forgiveness and said I could not, she said: "Then please take one." . . . When I talk with the mothers I meet during my travels, I see that there is no difference at all in what we want for our children. The only difference is our ability to give it to them.
This is such a tremendously important message that I don't think you can even hope to accurately perceive the world without really internalizing it.
The other day, someone told me a story. He was working maintenance in an apartment building, and went into a unit one day. Inside the unit, he saw a couple passed out on the couch, and a baby screaming in his crib. He went over to the baby, and saw a cockroach crawl out of his diaper. The diaper was stuck to the baby's skin. He called 9/11 immediately, the police came, and the building fired his maintenance company for not going to the building management first. This wasn't South Asia, it was here in the U.S.
I heard that story, and then thought about how our daycare e-mails me daily an itemized list of the time of every diaper change and whether it was wet and/or BM. I thought about how unfair it is that she started life with a leg-up, from the hospital where she took her first breath, and yet how I'm totally driven to give her every unfair benefit I can ("you know honey, we could afford private school from pre-K if we budget carefully"). Intellectually, we want life to be fair for everyone, but being a parent means having this overwhelming urge to clear the path ahead for your offspring, burning down the forest if you have to.
I'm certainly not going to send my daughter to an inner-city public school to make a point. What gets to me is our inability as a society to acknowledge the cognitive dissonance, and speak about this issue honestly outside of graduation speeches. To talk about traits like intelligence and patience in terms of what they are: winnings in the genetic lottery, rather than as the result of moral virtue. To acknowledge that "equality of opportunity" is a vicious fiction and understand that not as a call to any particular political ideology, but as a fact of the universe that we must reconcile with any political ideology.
[+] [-] dpweb|11 years ago|reply
This idea should be met with violent resistance. Free will doesn't only exist, it's the only thing that matters. If I have no control over my life then I have no life.
I see this as part of the current public debate about haves and have-nots, growing inequality, etc.. which is an important debate. It's nice that the richest persons in the world have some humility about their success and speak so publicly, but we must not fall into the trap that luck and things outside our control are really what matters.
People born with nothing make it huge, rich kids with everything become total failures. This is absolute proof that free will exists and is what matters most.
[+] [-] lifeformed|11 years ago|reply
At first I thought that was a great philosophy, to just be content with what you have (look at how little others have!). However, the more I think about it, the the more I realize that this attitude is a waste of an opportunity. We are given such a prime position to make a difference. My attitude is: work hard, strive for success, and use your success to give back and help others in need. I could do the minimum and support just myself and be content, but I could also push myself and make lots of money, and use it to help many people. I guess Gates is the best example of this.
[+] [-] paulhauggis|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] beggi|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] stesch|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ucarion|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] dominotw|11 years ago|reply
Remember and do what?Ins't this morality of convenience.
If we really cared we would stop parents from passing on their advantages to their children and raise children on a collective common ground.
[+] [-] qeorge|11 years ago|reply
I just sponsored a hysterectomy for $180 (1 year of Netflix) in 3 clicks on Watsi. That's crazy.
Maybe you can sponsor someone too: https://watsi.org/fund-treatments
[+] [-] ISL|11 years ago|reply
You win, because $1/floss is worth it in aggregate to prevent future dental bills. Someone else wins, because they get the treatment they need to live a better life.
[+] [-] hkmurakami|11 years ago|reply
I'm hoping that as I mature, I'll be expanding the range of causes to which I will be giving to.
[+] [-] CapitalistCartr|11 years ago|reply
http://www.kiva.org/
[+] [-] gohrt|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mda|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] chappi42|11 years ago|reply
Without such 'contracts' watsi is - imho - bullshit.
[+] [-] graycat|11 years ago|reply
I may be underestimating Bill's initial drive for their work now, but generally I have to guess that Melinda is the main hero here. Oh, not to forget, one little thing Melinda did: She talked both Bill and Warren into handing over, what, ballpark $100 billion? Then for her second day, the set up a value that all wealthy people should give about 50% of their wealth to philanthropy and got, apparently, quite a list of wealthy people to do just that.
Another good thing to respect about them clearly seems to be their marriage; it looks like on of their beet examples. Perhaps not just coincidentally, their love and relationship, if more widely followed, would have helped those woman and children abandoned in South Asia. My view is that their example of a good marriage is huge not just for themselves but for their goals of curing poverty, that is, it is easy to see that letting marriage break is one of the biggest wastes in civilization, in particular, leading to poverty and the problems they are now trying to solve.
Why so many people are so eager to bust up their marriages, or just not be very devoted to each other at all, seems to be a grand determination to extract miserable defeat from the voracious jaws of magnificent victory and just inexplicable.
Congratulations to them both.
[+] [-] jenius|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] purephase|11 years ago|reply
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wug9n5Atk8c
[+] [-] tubbs|11 years ago|reply
This was a really inspiring read, thanks OP.
[+] [-] pcunite|11 years ago|reply
http://youtu.be/wug9n5Atk8c?t=22m00s
[+] [-] xophe|11 years ago|reply
A poetic touch from a tech genius of our generation.
[+] [-] eshvk|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] illini123|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] gd2|11 years ago|reply
That was the headline summary.
[+] [-] leaveyou|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] rpandey1234|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] aik|11 years ago|reply
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wug9n5Atk8c
[+] [-] pitchups|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] crassus|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] jejones3141|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] kateperry|11 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] bby|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] indianheart|11 years ago|reply
here is the link : http://www.forbes.com/sites/clareoconnor/2011/04/15/microsof...
Why Stanford , a prestigious university, would invite such scumbags ?
If Gates favors so much of charity why not donate everything except $1 Billion ? Are $1 billion not sufficient to live for rest of the life ?
Is his charity ( which comes to around 30 %) a simply proxy for tax saving ??
Whatever may be reason , please stop painting India a bad country.
I am from India , lived in America for 10 yrs before returning , travelled all over US and I can tell you there are classes, hungry people, children / women related crimes all over the place. So first look at your own country, how they are killing people in other countries and then lecture others.
Worst commencement speech in history of Stanford I would say.
[+] [-] imranq|11 years ago|reply
Anyway, a great duo-commencement speech, which inspires and provides some real-world advice
[+] [-] bsilvereagle|11 years ago|reply
Lots of good and relevant posts never make it off /new. Today enough people noticed the post and it made it to the frontpage.
[+] [-] imranq|11 years ago|reply
[+] [-] uireiu89|11 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] roadnottaken|11 years ago|reply
love this