[darthclue]

I am quite honestly at a loss for words here. When this originally made it to HN I found out about it because I was awakened by the sound of my wife sobbing on the couch next to me. I had only been out of the hospital a few days and was sleeping on the couch at that time because I lacked the energy to do much of anything beyond sit there and force food into my mouth. At that time, we saw a huge amount of support from the HN community and I was humbled and honored that so many people stepped forward and demonstrated what I believe is the most important thing in this world. That is, that if we are to survive as a species we must unite and cooperate and, whenever and wherever possible, help those in need.

Over the last few months, I've finally found a good balance between food and the medicines I must take to simply survive. I am still paying ongoing medical costs which insurance is paying a large chunk of, however, insurance doesn't pay for everything. Just some rough numbers based on costs submitted to insurance shows that a single day in the hospital is roughly $3,000/day and a single gamma knife treatment is roughly $100,000. The gamma knife treatment is the best available option for treating tumors in my brain, however, getting that approved by insurance isn't easy. The last time it happened, the neurosurgeon had to submit a written statement indicating that my life expectancy was at least 6 months beyond the time of treatment or they wouldn't pay.

The money from the fundraiser is being used in one of 3 ways: Medical expenses, Putting food on the table, or final expenses which include funeral costs and paying off the house and car debt so that my family will have a roof over their heads when my time comes. For those that have given, I will never be able to say thank you enough nor will I ever be able to repay you. I do hope that your generosity will be repaid to you ten-fold in some way. I've seen many of you give small amounts and many of you give large amounts, however, the common theme is that you are giving what you can while also wishing you could give me. From me to you, whatever you give is precious. Even it is only $5 it is precious because you have taken the time to give and demonstrated that you believe in providing hope and compassion to others and because those $5 donations add up quickly when it is thousands of people giving.

I lost my grandmother this month from cardiac arrest. Because of my health, I couldn't attend her funeral. That was and continues to be a very painful thing for me. She was always there to make sure I was taken care of and even spent several weeks with us helping to keep me fed and motivated despite her own health failing her. She passed at 80 years, 8 months, and 8 days of age and the legacy she left me was to help others as much as you can. Even though my own health is failing, I am doing whatever I can to bring attention to others whose situations are just as bad, if not worse, as mine.

At this point, even though my prognosis has not changed, I am feeling better. I still have trouble moving around as I run out of energy quickly and fight pain constantly. There is still no cure for the type of cancer I have and the treatments I am on will likely cease to be effective at some point. While there is likely to be a point at which all treatment options have been exhausted, I continue to have hope that a cure may be found before that happens. Quite honestly, even if it meant that I was physically unable to do anything and even if it meant that I had lost a substantial amount of my cognitive function, if I was alive I would be fine. That is truthfully the only thing that I have ever wanted. I simply want to live, to watch my children grow, and to die of old age with my soul mate by my side.

I want to bring your attention to some other individuals whose situations are, I think, worse than mine.

First, there is Nathalie. She is a 15 year old who is battling a rare form of cancer. She is trying to get access to a drug which could very well save her life and might even save mine one day. She meets all of the requirements except for her age. Because she isn't 18, she can't get the drug until it's been approved by the FDA. You can learn more about her situation at http://www.4nathalie.com/

Second, there is Ben. He is a father of 4 who was diagnosed with cancer of the Brain and central nervous system in December and given weeks to live. He's fought an impossible battle and managed to exceed doctors expectations. At this point, he has exhausted all available treatment options and may soon meet his end. I'm not entirely sure what the needs of his family are at this time, however, he does have a fundraiser at http://www.gofundme.com/ben-fights-brain-cancer

If you feel the need to give but are unable to give to more than one of us, I would ask that you give to either Nathalie or Ben. Although my family does need the help, I want to leave this world better than I found it and that starts by helping others. If my time comes, I would rather that my legacy be that of someone who helped others rather than that of someone who begged for help as others in need were left standing alone.

Thank you again for all that you have done for me and my family. I know that I will never be able to repay your kindness.

Jonathan Dale