[throwawayokay]

I've been on meds for about 15 years, with one year off. The last 11 years I've been on 75mg of Effexor, and it's been a miracle drug for me, with the only side effect being a mildy suppressed libido. And 75mg is a pretty low dose, less than half what is normal for treating depression.

I'm not keen on being a slave to meds, so I'm currently weaning myself off 1mg a day (Effexor is notoriously bad to quit cold turkey). I did this a couple years ago and got to 30mg before I felt like I was experiencing anxious symptoms. These days I'm married, I meditate, and am all around less of a spazz.

"I'm so practiced at having them, nobody standing around me is ever aware that I'm having a sudden bout of tachycardia and growing concerns that my heart is about to explode in my chest"

Believe me, I recall that sensation, and I don't miss it. If I need to take meds for the rest of my life to avoid those types of experiences, so be it. When I was preoccupied with dealing with that level of anxiety, I was missing out on more than I realized.