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Oliver Sacks on learning he has terminal cancer

625 points| the_duck | 11 years ago |nytimes.com | reply

121 comments

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[+] sswaner|11 years ago|reply
Many years ago, as a young undergrad, I ambushed Oliver Sacks right after he finished addressing a Music Therapy conference. I asked if I could run an idea by him, he said we could talk while he walked to his car. I explained my hypothesis of a potential cause of neurodegenerative diseases. He listened patiently then said "I have similar thoughts, the challenge is proving it". Then, just before stepping into his car, he said "If you are right, and can prove it, you would win the Nobel Prize. Good luck, young man." I doubt he remembers this conversation, but for me it was an amazing experience I will never forget. The lab I worked in wasn't equipped to study the idea, and I became the lab computer guy instead of a neuroscientist. But I am still grateful to the confidence given me in that short conversation.
[+] sixQuarks|11 years ago|reply
I was hoping you were going to end the comment with something like "... and I am happy to say I went on to win a Nobel prize"
[+] protothomas|11 years ago|reply
What was your hypothesis out of interest?
[+] buhrdraph|11 years ago|reply
Nothing new here. It just proves that ideas are cheap and a dime a dozen. Actually doing it is the hard part.
[+] dr_|11 years ago|reply
Anyone who is even remotely interested in end of life issues, and anyone who is a physician, should really read Atul Gawandes Being Mortal. Many people are unable to live their lives out the way Dr Sacks hopes to, simply because the medical establishment as is doesn't really allow for it. The best takeaway from this essay is that, in the end, you have to focus entirely on things that matter to you most. But you should also be clear on this with your treating providers - so at the end you are spending time with your loved ones, and not going in and out of the hospital.
[+] tbrake|11 years ago|reply
The advice reminds me of the article "How Doctors Die" ( http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/20/your-money/how-doctors-die... ).

Having not read the book and the viewpoint it presents I do feel like there's also a bit of responsibility - I hesitate to use "blame" or "fault" - on the patient or patient's family for keeping them alive on machines and treatment that cost way too much. Perhaps the establishment is an enabler in that sense but what would they be if they didn't respect the wishes of the dying?

[+] jeffreyrogers|11 years ago|reply
> because the medical establishment as is doesn't really allow for it.

I have many relatives and friends in medicine. They will let you end your life the way you want to (for the most part) but you have to be firm about what you want. Doctors don't like telling people they're dying because it is a hard conversation to have. And most people, even those who are aware of the statistics, like to cling to the hope that they could be different.

[+] sadkingbilly|11 years ago|reply
I just finished this book a couple weeks ago. It was definitely a great one. Although, a difficult book to read, purely from the perspective of the topic. Growing old and/or dying are both topics people tend to ignore.

I also hadn't fully grasped the condition of growing old, itself. No one wants to die, but growing old and losing your independence is a disease all to its own, described in vivid detail in the book.

(I also appreciate that the author was so honest about mentioning taking antibiotics before drinking water from the Ganges [and still getting sick!]).

[+] mlrtime|11 years ago|reply
Tuesdays with Morrie is also a good read on this topic.
[+] quickpost|11 years ago|reply
I heartily second this recommendation (Being Mortal). It is very well written and thoughtful.

In fact, when my wife gave it to me, I wasn't even interested in end of life issues - who wants to read about death in the middle of winter? But I was immediately sucked in and enjoyed it thoroughly.

[+] mdtancsa|11 years ago|reply
A book I found very helpful was "Final Journeys: A Practical Guide for Bringing Care and Comfort at the End of Life"
[+] avz|11 years ago|reply
"I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure."

Beautiful.

[+] geoffsanders|11 years ago|reply
This is one of the most honest and genuine observations I've ever heard; an observation that one can likely only fully appreciate in the face of mortality.

Beautiful, indeed.

[+] tpopp|11 years ago|reply
Please, if anyone else reading this has the same cancer, do not listen to any medical professional saying to lay back and die. Sacks was, lucky if it can be called that, to have the less aggressive strain of Ocular Melanoma that metastasized. The most aggressive usually results in death in 18 months, but there is progress being made to extend this to 4 years. Look up Dr Sato of Thomas Jefferson. He's the expert on this cancer. Your loved ones will be extremely grateful for an extra 2 years with you, and the best treatments barely degrade the quality of your life at all.
[+] MagicWishMonkey|11 years ago|reply
Eeking out an extra (potential) 2 years in exchange for the mental and physical torture of chemotherapy is not worthwhile for some people, particularly the elderly.
[+] jgrahamc|11 years ago|reply
If you are reading that and discovering Oliver Sacks for the first time, or just haven't read any of his books, may I recommend that you get a copy of Uncle Tungsten? It's wonderful memoir of growing up in London and a history of chemistry.
[+] vanderZwan|11 years ago|reply
I love all of his books, but for me Seeing Voices has been a life changer in how it shifted my perspective of the world and of how we should treat each other.

Not that I would consider myself a terrible person before reading it, but it made me aware of wrong ideas I had because I never gave them much thought because I did not need to think about them.

Basically the hearing equivalent of white or male privilege. Which kind of opened up the thoughts about other privileges I might have been unaware of.

[+] inglesp|11 years ago|reply
Musicophilia is also strange and wonderful, and very much worth reading.
[+] MartinCron|11 years ago|reply
May I recommend that you just read everything. Maybe I'm just a grief-stricken fan, but I'm pretty sure that Oliver Sacks hasn't written a sup-bar or un-interesting sentence in his entire life.
[+] 3stripe|11 years ago|reply
Thank you, I will be doing this. And learning some more about my home town no doubt.
[+] edw519|11 years ago|reply
I feel intensely alive, and I want and hope in the time that remains to deepen my friendships, to say farewell to those I love, to write more, to travel if I have the strength, to achieve new levels of understanding and insight...I feel a sudden clear focus and perspective. There is no time for anything inessential. I must focus on myself, my work and my friends. I shall no longer look at “NewsHour” every night. I shall no longer pay any attention to politics or arguments about global warming.

Great advice for everyone. We are all dying. The magnitude of our vectors may be different, but the direction is always the same.

[+] JacobAldridge|11 years ago|reply
The first book I ever bought the woman who became my beautiful wife was Sacks's The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat. She had mentioned enjoying some Psychology studies, so it seemed relevant.

His writing then, as now, leaps off the page and dances with your mind. Sadly, we will soon lose any possible new writing, and joyously he leaves a lifetime of work as a legacy.

[+] MarkMc|11 years ago|reply
The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat is such a wonderful book - perhaps my favourite. The characters and ailments of each case are fascinating, but it's Sacks' empathy and understanding that really makes the books special.

Every few pages I would stop reading, stare into space and contemplate the unusual perspective that he has elucidated. Not many books have such an effect.

If you haven't read The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat, please add it to the top of your list.

[+] lemming|11 years ago|reply
This is also one of my favourite books of all time, and many of Dr Sacks' books are other top contenders. Quite apart from his wonderful human aspect, and the fascination and empathy he has with his patients, it's very thought provoking. I had never really considered how totally wonderful our perception and consciousness mechanisms are until I was forced to by reading his accounts of patients who for one reason or another are missing them. For example, the title story is a man whose vision is perfect, but totally lacks the ability to synthesise the forms he's perceiving into objects, so he has no idea what he's looking at. Truly fascinating. What amazing abilities we all take for granted.
[+] Jolijn|11 years ago|reply
I should write a note for my wife and children in case an accident happens, so I can express to them how happy a life I've had with them, even if I died before realizing my dreams.
[+] bentcorner|11 years ago|reply
I use a dead man switch to email my wife and eldest child in case something were to happen to me. Basically a good bye note and technical details of how to get into my password application. From there they can get into my email and any other accounts that need dealing with.
[+] tomjen3|11 years ago|reply
Better yet: record a video. It will be more personal than just a note.

Also you mentioned your children being young. You may want to record videos for their various birthdays and other life events in case you are no longer alive. I know I will do this when/if I have any children.

[+] tome|11 years ago|reply
Why not just tell them now?
[+] 300bps|11 years ago|reply
I have been increasingly conscious, for the last 10 years or so, of deaths among my contemporaries.

I am about half the age of Oliver Sacks. In the past year I've gone to two funerals for people younger than I am. It's a very poignant reminder of your own mortality when people your age or younger pass away.

[+] CartyBoston|11 years ago|reply
It's a beautiful essay, and I don't mean to undermine its gravity but one thing he mentioned has me curious. How does one conclude that two tumors are related? Might it be that the cancer that metastasized in his liver is independent of that that was in his eye?

He is a neurologist, I am not intending to challenge, just curious and I know there are people here that know much more than I do.

[+] sswezey|11 years ago|reply
My mom died from this exact same (super rare) cancer. Ocular melanoma almost always metastasizes to the liver. For a ocular melanoma survivor, a liver check every 6 months is highly recommended. It seems his tumor in his eye had the mutation that makes it very unlikely for it to metastasize (5%), the other half of tumors have a much higher rate (66%). Either way the metastasize will usually happen within the first 10 years after discovering the original tumor.
[+] copperx|11 years ago|reply
I'm guessing they did a biopsy of the tumor in the liver and found it was ocular melanoma. Elementary, my dear Watson.
[+] mturmon|11 years ago|reply
He is an illustrious MD with connections to the best medical schools around. You can assume he has excellent doctors and excellent medical advice.
[+] jpdoherty|11 years ago|reply
Absolute poetry. I hope I face life with that kind of love, dignity, and open embrace when I'm in my final years.
[+] guruparan18|11 years ago|reply
Anything that is related to death and uncertainty in general kindles lot of thought in one's mind. I for one, have always considered it to be a great interest to read about them. Here is a prose, written roughly 2000 years ago, dealing with death. It compares death to a sinking ship in a calm deserted ocean (contrast to violent shipwreck). Death engulfs the old ship very slowly.

Translation: The bonds of friendship are broken, friends, relatives and wive have become cold in love, or few, the cords of love are loosened. Consider the matter well. What profit is there in the attached state? Oh, it is come, the wail of distress, as when a ship founders!

See: http://www.tamilvu.org/library/l2800/html/l2800ind.htm for original text.

[+] ProAm|11 years ago|reply
> This is not indifference but detachment — I still care deeply about the Middle East, about global warming, about growing inequality, but these are no longer my business; they belong to the future.

This quote sticks out to me, I feel everyone acts, by and large, like this towards these issues (or most issues) regardless of age or health. Probably my pessimistic view of the world, very interesting to read from him.

[+] jusben1369|11 years ago|reply
What, if any, relevance to readers here place on the fact that he is 81 vs 61 or 41, to his overall generally positive state of mind?
[+] bshimmin|11 years ago|reply
81 is a reasonably good innings, slightly above the average for the US, and just about the average for the UK (Sacks is British-American, I believe) - one wouldn't describe dying at that age as a particularly early or premature death.

I think it's hard to separate that intrinsic fact from his stoicism on the subject, impressive though it is. I'm sure it's not easy at any age to face your impending demise, but knowing you've led a pretty long and very successful life perhaps makes it an easier pill to swallow. And, to be a little cynical, we're reading this in a column in The Gray Lady - perhaps he's terrified on the inside but putting on a brave face for the public, either to keep up appearances or to be a source of inspiration for others.

Seems like this would be a good day to re-watch "Awakenings"...

[+] agumonkey|11 years ago|reply
Rare time when death feels like an Ode to life.
[+] goffley3|11 years ago|reply
One of the great sages of the world soon to leave us. I love his writing and the different perspectives that his work has offered me. He'll be missed and as bad as this sounds I'm excited to see what writings he comes up with as he takes the final steps of his journey.
[+] WhitneyLand|11 years ago|reply
Most of his reflections on how to live with terminal illness seem like a fulfilling way to embrace life at any time. Funny how our focus has to be retrained so often on the things we already know are the most important.
[+] robotnoises|11 years ago|reply
I wish I could do anything as well as Oliver Sacks writes.
[+] alandarev|11 years ago|reply
Then master yourself, you are not 81 with a terminal cancer here.