[juliob]

Well, life is absurd. So to be honest there's not much reason to live.

However, during the time that I'm still here, whenever I feel like crap, I blame myself. If my thoughts are depressing me, then it's my job to change the thought patterns. Committing suicide seems like a cop-out to me. If it's to escape pain, I have to ask: where does the pain come from? Who made up the rules that I should be happy about this and that and I should be unhappy about this and that? Is it society? Is it my family? Nature? Well, if it were up to me, I'd rewrite the rules so that I win. And ultimately, I have to remember that it is in fact up to me to feel good or not.

Easier said than done, but this is the outlook that makes me reject feeling like crap. Remember, your thoughts don't define you. Just because you're the one thinking certain thoughts doesn't mean you should accept them all: pick and choose which ones you allow and which ones you should consider alien. Negative thoughts can be ignored, they can be changed. Meditation. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Travel to foreign lands.