[Jem]

Anecdotally, if I'd thought of my parents as friends, I perhaps would have been more inclined to tell them that I was being abused as a child.

I (personally) would rather blur the lines between friendship and authority and have my children trust me completely, than risk alienating them when they need me the most.

[inanutshellus]

On the flip-side you might've said "My parents just wanted to be my friend, so I didn't tell them about my abuse. After all, they'd never shown a backbone. Why would I think they could solve my problem?"

From what I see in raising my children (poorly, as we all must), the balance you want is "authority without oppression". e.g. "I'm the leader on this road trip of life, and I'm actively training you to take over every responsibility you're capable of" as opposed to, say, "I'm the leader so SIT DOWN."

Being a "buddy" (Tiger Mom / Kitten Dad) gives your children no one to rely on when the life hits the fan.

[Jem]

Do your friends lack a backbone? I'm not sure why one has to equal the other.

Obviously I can't say for sure that had my parents done X, I would have done Y, but their lack of any attempt to connect with my siblings and I on any meaningful level has had a massive impact. I don't hold a grudge against either of them but there are certainly things I know now should have raised major red flags and they completely missed them. Still, that goes deeper than whether or not I could consider them a "friend"!