[ice303]

I can relate to what you are feeling. You have to take a couple steps behind, take a deep breath, and start to see things how they really are. There's no evil that will last. You will get over this, I can assure you. make a list of your strengths, of what you are passionate about. Maybe change job, work on something else that might make you happy. Maybe relocate and start over. A good friend of mine, sysadmin for a couple of decades, burn out one day. Left everything and bought a small house on the country and he's producing wine. He's never been happier he said to me. Do some sports, go out, be with friends, talk about what you are feeling. It helps. Take care mate.