Ben_Dean's comments

Ben_Dean | 15 years ago | on: Things you might not know about NYC

not to mention one full of grammatical, style, content, and spelling errors. There was not one fact in this that is not immediately obvious to anyone who has been in NYCity for five minutes. And, also, in addition to that, some of the observations were dead wrong. For instance, Starbucks is universally known in this town to be the public restroom of Manhattan. Why all the ire, you ask. The reason is that this post contains numerous uses of "lol" as an arbitrary sentence particle, which, for some reason, makes my blood boil. Oh, also, New York is one of the greatest cities in the history of human civilization and to utterly fail to have any insight into it at all is embarrassing. Try again!

Ben_Dean | 15 years ago | on: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

You are not doing anything wrong. You're just like every single other human ever to exist. The way you describe your problem makes me believe that some manner of Zen/Mindfulness approach would be appealing to you.

"I have a difficult time relating attempted solutions because I'm still not sure what the problem is."

To me, this says that you've already found the fundamental truth of desire-- you cannot sate it with its own ends, as counterintuitive as that is. I realize this is starting to sounds like the dreaded "get religion" solution, but there's no magic or mystery in these approaches. Just 2500 years of close examination human life.

Two specific, small things: I recommend a short, easy book, "Everyday Zen" by Charlotte Joko Beck. Try to sit still and just breathe for around 20 minutes. It's just as easy and just as hard as it sounds.

Ben_Dean | 15 years ago | on: Ask HN: How Do I Get Math?

I was in the same position as you recently (and still am to some degree) though in worse shape, since I decided I needed math at the end of college. The points people made previously about working at it and repetition are critical. I absolutely understand that you don't want to do things by rote, but what's important to realize is that like ANY other skill, there is one best way to improve, and it's called practice. You'll just need to do exercise after exercise, and read and re-read proofs, even when you don't feel that you "get" it. First you do it, then you'll get it.

The other thing that works the same for every other skill is to teach it. Get a friend who feels the same, and teach each other math. This works pretty well when you're not even talking to a real person, even. Just having to formulate your understanding solidly enough to convey it to someone else reveals where you get it and where you don't.

The personal trick that will help though I find is the hardest to do consistently is to be OK with not getting it. You'll spend a lot of time not understanding, so get comfortable with that fact and keep going. For myself, I tend to back off the subject when I don't get it right away, but I learn much faster when I stick with the stuff that makes me uncomfortable.

Prescriptively, try looking at How To Prove It for an explanation of what's going on in proofs, and how to engage with them.

Ben_Dean | 15 years ago | on: Ask HN: Typical Startup or Abuse?

You need to have a new job. In so many ways. I got a sysadmin "internship" right out of college with a studio art degree (painting) and was make $3K a month. And for a company that I feel is extremely exploitative of its workers. I completely agree with everyone. You can feel completely entitled to making 4-5 times what you are, salaried with benefits. Also, your boss is obviously just an ass. Only someone on the megalomaniac end of the personality spectrum would be calling you to task for showing up a few minutes "late", especially when you are a contract worker.
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