Throwaway8373's comments

This is still very cheap :) Be kind in the sense of the bible? Well, then you'd have the have read, or at least be educated, in the bible.

If it was just so simple as to be a good listener. Then I think a lot more of the classic "nerds" would have hit it of hard with the ladies ;)

It is easy only to talk in abstract terms. Don't be a dick -- what does it mean? Nobody knows, unless they do. Some well intended people ended up in very bad sitatuations while always thinking they were not dicks.

It is definitely easy to go down the road of relativazation.

* On reading: For most people we need better role models than our parents. For sexuality this is probably even ore true. * Every person is not so different. It would appear that sexual dreams are in variation of 10 different "universal" ones. * Studying the underlying dynamics is not about trying hard, indeed it is the contrary. You probably don't even know why the comment "Don't try to hard, just listen and be patient." is merited? If you read you will ;)

You would probably be one of these people who find it natural to talk with women, court them, etc. Congratulations. It is like a heiress telling her poor friends not to study hard to get a job -- just get money from your parents!

I am not entirely sure what this is a response to. Had I written Neil Strauss and the PUA movement, it would have seemed merited?

Well, this is only in the context of courtship, which is _inherently_ sexually polarizing. You most _definitely should not_ bring this view into the work place. In that case you are in your right to call is misogynistic.

And this comment is also a prime example of the derailment that leads to the vanilla meeting between the genders.

(I expect people to be able the read "masculine core" for men and "feminine core" for women)

One of my greatest problems is knowing what is right and wrong when courting for a mate. The rules are changing so rapidly that what I learned in sex-ed is outdated, and not even talking about what my parents could teach me.

The public discourse on sex is also mostly negative and discouraging. And this is what we meditate on a daily basis -- when you hear more about women feeling the need to wear, well weapons, when going out than you hear them wanting to be courted, well then I'd rather go and drink a bear and play some billiard with my mates.

I have recently started reading the works of John Gray (the one with Venus and Mars) and David Deida. Men that provide a somewhat coherent narrative and definitely provide material better to mediate on than the mass media.

Does anyone have some recommendation on literature supporting men courting women?

I think this is key. Men's courthship is _extremely_ complex these years and has exclusively been vilified.

It appears as it is OK for people the merely point out how _not_ to court, and then men, automatically, knows how to do it right.

Not as much porn use as very regular ejaculation.

I have started to look into sexuality and tantra, and it really seems like there are some effects people will only see after 5-6 days abstinence.

And yes, the added energy will definitely also make men more willing to do the hunt, if they don't ejaculate 2 times a day.

Porn, however, seems to be the enabler of so much ejaculation.

Then again: The risk / unknowns of getting a partner can definitely also outweigh the cons of abstinence.

These are all great advices, but very hard to act on. I got hired by one of the big silicon Valley consultencies with the promise of working in teams and great personal development. Had I been there an entire year, I would have worked completely on my own for 9 months. After voicing my concerns for several months I decided to leave.