__exit__'s comments

Thank you. I will look for the book and read it as soon as I can.

Thank you. Will try to follow your advice. Even though your points seem obvious, it is very easy to miss them when in a situation like mine.

I'll just start small when learning or starting a side-project for the sake of focus.

Thank you for the response. I skimmed through the CBT definition and it seems to fit my case up to some point. Will check it more in detail.

As for the 'clock is ticking' part, what I had in mind was that somehow I need to learn as much as possible now so that my future-self is better professionally. This arises from the 'fear' that I will not be a valid professional by (say) my 40s-50s, as from what I understand, software engineers by that age are a smaller population compared to the younger one, and in addition, younger engineers are preferred over older ones. Of course, I am probably mistaken, but it's the general feeling I got by reading posts over the Internet. This, again, has to do with the feeling of 'rejection'.

I'll try to reconsider my situation by taking a break. Also, will improve my learning methods from your advice.