lillian-lemmer's comments

> On a side note I find it ironic that people who had to hide who they are for most of history and maybe for most of their lives want to force the same thing on other people just because of their personal beliefs.

I love how you're comparing the choice of being a person who dehumanizes and threatens vulnerable people as like... a demographic to compare to being a woman, or being trans, etc.

My impression of you: Being dehumanized, threatened with death, rape, is a totally subjective experience and vaguely defined, so we shouldn't stop those things. I offered my conditional support to you people, but now I'm revoking it because I want people to be able to dehumanize and threaten you and ultimately do not care what happens to anyone else. BTW, being picked on and trolling cis men poses the exact scenario as threatening women, minorities, with death, rape, etc.

FreeBSD is, frankly, better off making these people feel threatened and dehumanized.

Sorry, but if you took any minority or underpriv'd person (trans, female, black, etc.), and "made" them a CIS white male, their life would be easier and they'd face less problems.

Also privilege isn't about who's life is harder, it's about the abilities afforded/predisposed to you by society because of how you're labeled.

Also nobody doubts that poverty is a huge issue. Imagine being a poor man. Now imagine being a poor trans woman. Do you have any idea?

This may be unpopular opinion, but the fact is that there is just a perspective that you cannot understand through anecdotes or research.

The experience of being trans, queer, female, etc., today is not summed up by text. It is the adrenaline and vomit from death threats, it's falling behind at work because of harassment, I could go on and on.

Safe places are a way to ensure that everyone at least can truly empathize with each others' experiences, and as such, a place where they don't have to worry about that.

It's a counter, a reaction to all spaces practically being for (white) men. Who's voices are heard? Who's narratives are enforced? Safe places are the only places we have.

I could go on, but...

Please trust me when I say safe spaces are crucial, especially to trans survival.

I wish you knew how... devastatingly lonely it can be as an outcast in society. How everyone treats you. Solidarity is really important.

Can you also imagine who you are constantly being criticized? Your problems constantly being made out to be false? That you have the burden of proof with everyone because nobody knows your struggle?

I feel like the most important takehome is that we need recourse for ensuring the safety of the less represented of people, e.g., trans.

Yeah, it's just that it is sad that it is practically required to be spelled out. But even bigger yet, is that we have to find ways to enforce it and its purpose.

Every time you step out the door do you wonder if you'll be killed for who you are? Do you worry that you can't go to the police for who you are? Do you ever worry about fighting an entire legal and medical system to be who you are?

Etc.

So your answer is not to have enforceable routes for women to be safe and respected because nobody can write specifically enough?

I run an organization (hypatia.software [Hypatia Software Organization]) where the Code of Conduct is enforced and it is effective.

I love FreeBSD! I have a GitHub record to show that! :3 It's my sweet little darling angel. But it's sick. :<

We need routes to ensure safety and respect for everyone. If someone makes others feel endangered, it is not unreasonable for there to be immediate recourse and resolution. That's what a Code of Conduct is all about.

No. This is about women wanting their safety prioritized over others' "right" to treat women like garbage.

A woman wanted recourse for feeling unsafe because of the horribleness someone was spewing. Any real recourse. I outline this in my other comments. I was there for the entire ordeal. They tolerated every infraction with no consequence.

> Do something positive like encourage that girl to make her contribution to FreeBSD regardless of what words are slung around.

This is the attitude I'm talking about in my other comments.

He should have been expelled the second he was harshly transphobic to me, e.g., calling me a "tranny." I'm the trans woman Randi talks about in that article. There were many times he should have been kicked out, but in the end nobody cared enough about women's issues, or there was no real recourse for such.

But since that didn't happen, Randi is trying to bring attention to the fact that the above isn't how things work.

EDIT TO CLARIFY: the man I'm referring to is the FreeBSD contributor Randi Harper speaks of in the article, not the voosh guy.

Don't do this. It's implying that people should just "not be hurt by it and move on." ... That the problem is with the people reacting. Surely, I agree that giving attention to stuff often fuels the flames, but the answer isn't to place the burden on the victims. The answer is to actually DEAL with the issue and have shit HAPPEN to make people (women, trans, queer, minorities) safer!

That's definitely on the todo list, thanks for reminding me! :D

https://github.com/lillian-lemmer/hypatia/issues/37

I took your advice regarding the windows zip--moved to gh-pages.

https://lillian-lemmer.github.io/releases/hypatia-demo-windo...

Glad you enjoy! And thanks for the advice.

Thanks! You know I still play my Game Boy Color? I've been beating Oracle of Ages/Seasons for the billionth time lately.

Thank you!

That's a tremendous idea! I'll definitely consider targeting the browser, what a fun thing to think about! I'll mull that over. :)

Also, I'm really happy you like the concept and I'm even happier that you enjoyed the non-programmer manual I wrote. <3 It feels really good to give back, full circle, with a game engine which can be used by nonprogrammers, after all, OHRRPGCE got me into programming. :)