logicalxor's comments

It depends on how much money you have made. If you haven't made much like (99% of devs), then most people need money.

If you have been in FAANG or part of startup that exploded or went through IPO, then you value time.

This is unfortunate but this is the truth.

We do get some tax refund with kids so roughly $60k to $65k are our expenses.

Good idea. I will look into this.

Well done. You are commendable and I give you virtual accolades. Adjusting your way of life is the path forward.

Yes, this is not a permanent situation and not end of the world. My point was it is possible to live happy lifestyle in $60k to $80k with kids in VHCOL geos.

With kids?

Virtue signalling? How so? Far from it. In fact, I want to learn if we are spending too less thus living a bad lifestyle and whether we should increase it. This is high inflation era and things are different than 4 years ago. I am just collecting data and learning from comments. Thanks for your comment and perspective.

I am not joking. I don't know why do you say that. Granted, not everyone is equipped to pull it off but trust me $60-$80k are good if you manage your expenses well. Here is the breaddown:

Rent: $2400 (East South of Seattle, quiet and safe area 3B2Ba SFH)

Groceries: $800 per month

Kids school: $200 per month (public school)

Kids activities: $200 (for 4-6 months). We play at home.

Electricity, Gas, Sewer - $400 per month

Gas: $100 per month (I mostly do WFH)

Emergency: $300 per month

Fun: $100 month

Healthcare: $1200 per month (through marketplace)

Childcare: None since one of the spouse stays at home.

We could lower it if we moved to an apartment but we love the place. We live happily and I get to see kids everyday rather than leaving them with strangers with cookie cutter upbringing. You can't outsourced parenting when you decide to have kids. But, most people never grow up. They want to party every weekend. They can't keep up with jonasses. We are different. This is how my family built the wealth. I will follow their teachings and path and will build my own destiny.

It is manageable with $60k to $80k. Granted, we are not contributing to retirement but this won't be forever situation.

Somehow, people have build expectation that you need $150k - $200k to live descently. It is utmost corporate and media brainwashing one could imagine.

>> So, my new position on that sort of thing is: fuck them. Don't help them. Don't write tools like that, don't run tests to see if your teammates will take care of basic "service hygiene" issues, and definitely don't say anything substantive in a performance review. None of it will "move the needle" in the way you think it will, and it will only make life worse for you overall. "Peer reviews actually improve things" is about the biggest crock of shit that people in tech still believe in.

I know this is coming from a good place and good heart. However, even in 500 people organization this does not work. Peer reviews, championed by FAANGM and now adopted by everyone, are here to stay. If you don't do the work then someone else is ready to do that and take credit.

Also, god forbid if you sit in Amazon style performance evaluation. Only way to survive is you know someone. I have seen too many things at these evaluations. One quarter someone is HV+ or TT and in six months they are on PIP because manager changed their mind or Sr. Manager or Director asked them to.

Pro tip: Don't work at shit orgs at Amazon (FinTech, Prime Video) and don't work for terrible employers. You won't believe how much fewer stuff we need to get by. I used to think one need 200k+ to survive in west coast VHCOL (Bay Area, Seattle). However, I am surprised how far even 60k gets you with a family of four and one of the spouse staying at home.

Author is mostly right in spirit and I wholeheartedly agree. I just don't see a way for employees escaping peer review culture.