mrsmee89's comments

Does anyone have any experience using Melio?

https://www.meliopayments.com/

> If I want to be terrified, I think what if we, instead of at the top of the food chain, were just second. It terrifies me to no end.

That’s a horrifying thought. Thanks :)

Both of those essays are fantastic.

I find “This is water” to be especially poignant.

This is fascinating. I’m curious what other common items incentivizes theft in this manner.

Similar to the heuristic mentioned by op.

For those who grew up in the “you can do anything you put your mind to” era.

As self evident as this sounds, Accept your strengths and weaknesses.

If something takes little to no effort, that’s a real good sign that it’s a strength if it takes a lot of effort, it’s probably not :)

@wpietri sums up what I meant very well.

I’ll just add, a concrete method of improving my ability to “listen to my body” is shifting my attention to a specific part of my body especially when I feel vague discomfort. I tend to focus on my torso or chest. This really helps center my experience around noticing instead of judging.

As a bonus, this shift in perspective also allows me to connect with others more authentically.

As someone who typically gets their energy depleted around people, there are certain people that increase my energy. There are also times where I almost need to interact with people on a biological level.

Listening to my body is the thing that weirdly, used to take up a lot of energy because I wasn’t used to/ allowed to as a child. So I was constantly making difficult real-time decisions.

As an adult, I’ve learned how to listen to my body and crucially adhering to it’s signals. As someone who like to think, perhaps too much, its the best investment I’ve ever made.

> Divorce seems to be like a stab wound people carry around for years

This is a great metaphor. That’s exactly how it feels.

> IMO, divorce sucks worst for whoever is the most conscientious person and invested in the family, regardless of gender.

This is a more thoughtful way of putting it. Thank you. I do think that men tend to get the raw end of the deal when it comes to custody though.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know the feeling well. Keeping my family together was my numero uno. It drove me mad. I put myself in incredibly vulnerable positions. The thought of my kids growing up without knowing the love that brought them into this world seemed unbearable.

Looking back, while I was trying to keep my family together. She was trying to get the most out of our separation.

Once I accepted that we weren't going to be a conventional family, I was able to see things with clarity.

Accepting it is the hard part.

If you're married to someone that has experienced being in an unconventional family then this will feel a lot more normal to them, which absolutely sucks. I really feel for you man.

As a divorced man, I can attest to this wholeheartedly. There's an energy a man gets when you're building a family that helps motivate through the struggle. When you get divorced, especially when kids are involved, there's an expectation in our society (court system, social pressure, etc) to continue life as if that energy still exists, it simply doesn't. It's maddening. Breaking up a family is lose-lose. There are no winners, but men are the biggest losers.

That was always my problem with node/js in general. Installing packages for laughably basic functions got out of hand real quick. Can you point me towards somewhere where I can read about the alternative solutions you speak of?

It’s so cool!!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree node is counter intuitive, I’m curious why you think it was a mistake?

Elixir is quite new but Erlang, which it compiles to, is quite seasoned at least in programming years. That gives me confidence in terms of stability. I was able to spin up a basic real-time app in elixir in about an hour. Something that would’ve taken much longer in Django or rails. Never wanted to join an open source team before but I’m strongly considering making myself available to the phoenix team :)

I’m partial to phoenix as well :) it seems so thought out out. Things work exactly as I would expect them o work. A real pleasure. Thanks for the phoenix channels suggestion looks very cool. I wonder if liveview piggybacks off of it.

This is super helpful. thank you

This is super cool! thanks for sharing!

That makes sense! Thanks

That's exactly what I'm thinking! Would being anonymous be important you?

That’s incredibly creepy! I get the need for advertising but the sliminess has gone too far. I know it’s silly but I feel like there’s space right now for an ad company with morals that they can prove :)

Also see @davismwfl answer on this thread.