narraturgy's comments

This is a very naive statement! You are implying that the benefits of businesses and states are somehow exclusive to each other, but I believe there is plenty of historical precedent of situations where the "benefits" to a business prompt (in)action by states! The "benefits" to a state are so nebulous of a concept that I would argue that it is impossible to pin down any meaningful definition which we would be able to quantitatively use as a predictor for (in)action, except a cynical case where we define the "state" as "the groups/individuals in charge of governing a state," at which point it becomes trivial to reason out what the "benefits" to that "state" would be.

Due to my constant struggle with a worsening depression, 8 months ago my partner of 10 years left me. She couldn't handle it anymore. Everyone gives you advice on how to deal with breakups, and it feels like it's directed at people in 2 or 4 or 6 year relationships. Don't talk to your ex, work on yourself, find things that make you happy, reconnect with your friends... In my case my partner was the last thing keeping me above water. And that was too much of a struggle for her. I don't blame her for leaving. I just wish she didn't have to. But she did have to. I was bad for her.

Part of depression, for me, is that you never feel like yourself. Your words and actions don't match with who you want to be. I think it's hard to describe to someone without depression what it means to NEVER feel happy. To see the look on someone's face when they turn to you full of joy and then they realize that you aren't. To live in a pit of constant self hatred and fear because one day you're afraid you're going to snap and kill yourself and hurt the people around you who made the stupid choice to value your presence. To watch yourself crumble away as things get worse inside of you because things outside of you are getting better, and you're terrified of that. I remember times that I would say mean-spirited, hurtful comments about things she liked or did for no reason. I would see the hurt in her eyes and feel ashamed, and I would hate myself more for lashing out at someone who didn't hurt me in the first place. When I wasn't being thoughtlessly mean, I tried to be open and explain the darkness inside me, and it was horrifying to explain that there's a void inside you that nothing--not even your beloved partner--can fill. Eventually, I began avoiding talking at all, because I couldn't trust the words that came out of my mouth to not cause harm, but when I did that, all she felt was me withdrawing even more. How could I tell her I loved her when I kept hurting her? My words felt empty, even to me. I became a husk of myself, and it scarred her beyond repair.

The author of this article seems very kind, and maybe the person with depression in their life has a milder form than what I'm dealing with. The point I'm trying to make is that the author doesn't even make it sound half as terrible as it actually was for her. I was terribly emotionally abusive, not in the way that media portrays it where I'm a possessive, malicious actor trying to actively cause harm to my partner to keep them entangled with me, but in the sense that I was just an endless pit of unhappiness and no matter how much joy and love we tried to pour into me, it was never enough. Towards the end of things I began sabotaging our relationship, consciously or unconsciously I don't know, because I wanted her to be free of me. She ended up living with the torment that I live in because my emptiness can expand seemingly endlessly, and she deserved better.

Maybe this post is more of a personal confession than actual advice, but if I had to think of advice, I would say seriously consider the psilocybin therapy option. I went on a few solo trips since my relationship ended and it has made significant headway into my headspace--at least enough headway to be able to recognize and understand the things I have talked about in this post (I wasn't nearly so clearheaded at the time and could never have explained any of these thoughts to her then!), And they have stopped the suicidal urges. I wish I had done it sooner, maybe I would have been able to save my budding family from falling apart. I had been scared of "drugs" prior to then due to my upbringing, but they aren't anything like how the media depicts them.

If you're depressed and in a relationship: do anything you can to get help now, before you get worse. Don't make my mistake and think that traditional efforts will work "eventually." Eventually isn't good enough when you're hurting the people around you.

I'm relatively young, only 30, but I have the "privilege" to work on a variety of 90s-era windows-based systems. Everything is mouse-driven. When you have to use the mouse to navigate between multiple nested GUI pages, and each one has a couple seconds of load time, and the button to get to the next level is in another spot relatively to where the previous button you clicked was, it takes hours of your day just navigating between contexts over the course of an entire work day. People who think my fear/hatred of the mouse is irrational have never had to work on the irrational systems and terrible UX that the widescale prevalence mouse has enabled.

Treating me like a child because I'm applying for new grad/junior positions. If they looked at my birthdate they'd notice I'm 30. I'm trying to support a family, and I am unavailable during the days because I am working full time to support that goal, but they want me to participate in 2-3 interview steps which could range anywhere from 15 minutes to 4 hours and it's apparently rude of me to ask for that information beforehand so I can try to get my current job not to fire me for constantly taking time off with relatively short notice.

No, that is not the cause of the labor shortage.

I doubt that the majority of people who would take on a second job or "side hustle" would be so affluent because of it that they would raise the standard of living. Given all the people I know who have worked second jobs, the "choice" to do so has come from them needing more money to make ends meet or to provide for their families, all while dreaming of being able to spend some time with the families they are providing for, as opposed to being in traffic driving from one job to another or in another meeting where they are expected to talk once for 5 minutes.

The people in the world working 2 jobs don't tend to be affluent because of it. There are exceptions among the 3-letter elites, such as Jack Dorsey and his multiple CEO-ships, but those people /already/ represent a standard of living that is all but unachievable for the rest of us.

As someone who has recently decided to learn Go, this is a rather intimidating change. What is a good way to know that I am learning from sources who are using these new tools responsibly, rather than applying them in the messy fashion which you seem concerned about?

This is a tangential question. I adore my Thinkpad x230t but it has a whopping ~1 hour battery life at this point. Do you leave yours permanently plugged in or do you have some sort of modern battery solution for our ancient beast with an amazing keyboard?

>(Given a comfortable base salary. Hustling side projects or side gigs because you're not making enough money is another thing...)

Isn't that precisely why the "monetize everything"/"hustle pr0n" mentality has reached critical mass, though? The millennial generation has achieved existential dread as they have realized that they are not as financially well-off as their parents were at the same age, and they are desperate to find. Away to achieve some semblance of financial stability so that they can start their personal life journeys?

The commenter to whom you are replying did not seem to misunderstand the term, they called for the use of more meaningful terms that do not rely on slang which is potentially subject to regional or experiential biases. To that point, I highly doubt that "everyone" has the same view of the word "bro" that you do. That will only become more true the further you get from America and American slang.

The fact that you felt the need to explain the term even when the person seemed to already know what you meant is an excellent example of why this terminology is unhelpful.

It feels very strange and perhaps kind of contradictory to be presented with an individual who is vehemently against the idea of censorship while also using "the majority of people also hold this view" as their primary justification why censorship in this case is wrong.

If the professor held a view that the minority if Americans supported, would there be more or less reason to support censorship in that case? Would the author had been so quick to defend the professor's beliefs if they had not aligned with the majority's (and, likely, the author's, if I am to judge based on the impassioned editorializing present in the article)?

I'm not certain this sort of appeal to the commons argument has a place in the discussion of ethics and clout-driven censorship--that would boil the entire issue down to a simple.tug.of war between which of the two sides can drum up more/louder supporters. That isn't a question of ethics at all.

I've not heard of this. How does one go about finding a mentor to help them learn Linux kernel development?

Ok I'll admit it. I'm the dingus who is still using https and login/password. It's how I learned to use it years ago and since I only ever access GitHub via cli it's all I've ever learned. I don't program anything complex and I've never put anything secure up on GitHub (it's public, after all, so i had the expectation that all info on there is insecure). I don't understand why this is being deprecated when it's the default suggestion GitHub provides you when you add a new repo to your profile so that you can connect your local git repo to it. For hosting my trivial personal projects it seems so silly to have to go onto github's web interface and click through a bunch of their ui to build a personal passkey(which is just a password with a different name afaict). Am I just not the intended audience for the change or am I missing something crucial that doesn't make this seem like a bunch of extra effort for no meaningful change?

Can you speak to the experience of coding on the iPad? I have been considering picking one up for personal reasons but the price seemed prohibitive when I thought it simply could not be used for portable work purposes at all.

> > So, I felt [...] grateful to my parents for being there in the first place

> I'm going to say something controversial. Not everyone is grateful for their life. I've talked to multiple people who preferred to never be born. And event the best parents I know couldn't offer much more honest reason for having children than "we wanted to" which is basically ultimate selfishness.

> > [...] and being decent at being parents as well.

> That's way more universally good reason for treating your parents well.

I can verify this. I very much wish I wasn't tasked with being alive. Depending on your metaphysical beliefs, I feel like I'm wasting another soul's place in the world. I don't want to be here, maybe if another soul was in this body then it would put it to better use and be happy and fulfilled and desire this life. I have people who want me to be here and for their sake I continue onwards, always wondering why, and always wishing I didn't have to. I used to make the mistake of thinking I could confide in them these feelings I have, but eventually I realized that I cannot. Rather, I should not. My parents wanted to be parents, and they began preparing for me as soon as they found out I was on my way. They kept me from falling off of tall things or licking wall sockets or drinking cleaning fluid as a baby. No matter how you word it, there's no way to explain that you don't want to exist that doesn't tell a parent "everything you defined yourself by for the last few decades is a farce, the thing that you made doesn't want to exist." I am not grateful my parents made me, but I don't hate them so much as to want to hurt them by telling them that.

I disagree. It seems unreasonable to hold not-for-profits to such an extreme ethical standard. They're already doing charitable work, why must they also be expected to lead the charge on unrelated social matters besides the one they chose?

I agree that executives are paid too much, but I don't expect a Soup Kitchen to be posting on social media about how they are fighting against discrimination of purple elephantfolk in Norway.

>highly paid execs, insane amount of money spent on marketing

I don't understand how not-for-profit orgs are supposed to succeed when they are constantly hampered by being expected to pay theirbwmployees low wages and not market themselves or spread the word because if they spend too much money doing these things then they are suddenly "bad" organizations. If not-for-profits are not allowed to compete in the market with for-profit organizations by offering competitive wages and utilizing competitive marketing budgets, then it's no wonder that charity is generally so ineffective. I suspect that the average armchair marketing executive might not be a good judge of what an "appropriate" marketing budget is.

It's awkward because people who are new to the city don't intuitively understand the necessary cadence of the swipe. Every time I bring a friend to the city for the first time and hand them a card, they struggle to get the machine to read their swipe. First, they swipe too slowly, I tell them to speed it up. They swipe again, too quickly this time, and I tell them to slow it down. They look at me, exasperated, and I take the card and swipe myself through to show them the rhythm. They usually mess it up one or two more times before they get it right.

Furthermore, I would argue that the cards are shaped incorrectly--the cut edge of the card is on the trailing edge of the swipe, which seems unintuitively for something meant to be pushed forwards.

I know I'm asking a question that is likely difficult to answer, but how do you make humor out of something so mundane as a cover letter for a job? Without knowing anything about the audience I can't imagine how to be funny on paper without coming off as inauthentic.

If you build a platform specifically to house/attract people who were banned from typical platforms because they had a tendency towards promoting violence, then I would argue that you are very much enabling (possibly even encouraging) their behavior. I believe that is a pretty logical sequence, and a clear line to draw.

There are very few people who earnestly want an unmoderated place of discourse, because those serve very little functional purpoae. Eventually most people will find something either irrelevant to their interests or personally repugnant presented to them and will go back to a place where there is some degree of moderation in place so that they can consistently find thing that interest and engage them. Why are you on HN and not one of these wholly unmoderated forums? Even curation of topics is a form of moderation, not to mention HN's strict approach to actually thoughtful commentary. The people who earnestly want a wholly unmoderated space are increasingly likely, depending on their desire for it, to be one of those people engaging in something so boorish that it got them removed from moderated spaces.

Furthermore, there is no small amount of irony in you saying you'd rather talk about free speech right after telling someone what they can or cannot claim.