Most of your doubts and concerns were already answered by the wise old edw519 here:
http://edweissman.com/53640595Also please understand that self-pity is the worst use of your imagination.
I've been in your situation too and some of the things that helped me are:
1) Having a habit of exercising daily for 30 minutes. No compromise on this. This is a good antidote for depression.
2) A habit of getting up at 5 daily and doing the most important thing at that time. This habit alone can change your life and to cultivate this hard habit in a ridiculously easy manner please check this article: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/04/how-to-get-up-right...
3) Having a Vision Board. I use text instead of images. They are more direct. I change it every week to keep it fresh and inspiring all the time. As a part of the morning ritual, I stare at the vision board for about 5 to 10 minutes and is also close to where I sleep. It gets in my way whenever I’m distracted and not working.
I'm an aspiring Hacker too - currently at the 'aspiring' level only though. I'm learning Ruby by straightaway trying to implement the algorithms found in my college book - Design and Analysis of Algorithm. My work is hardly inspiring. But I start my day with some satisfaction that I’m one step closer to becoming someone like ed519 even if it would take me years!
Remember that the 10000-hour-rule is BS. I realized that I can have fun 'while in the learning phase' and I could hit a wonderful break even before that.
Just develop a couple of life-changing habits and you’ll do great.
Also please understand that self-pity is the worst use of your imagination.
I've been in your situation too and some of the things that helped me are: 1) Having a habit of exercising daily for 30 minutes. No compromise on this. This is a good antidote for depression. 2) A habit of getting up at 5 daily and doing the most important thing at that time. This habit alone can change your life and to cultivate this hard habit in a ridiculously easy manner please check this article: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/04/how-to-get-up-right... 3) Having a Vision Board. I use text instead of images. They are more direct. I change it every week to keep it fresh and inspiring all the time. As a part of the morning ritual, I stare at the vision board for about 5 to 10 minutes and is also close to where I sleep. It gets in my way whenever I’m distracted and not working.
I'm an aspiring Hacker too - currently at the 'aspiring' level only though. I'm learning Ruby by straightaway trying to implement the algorithms found in my college book - Design and Analysis of Algorithm. My work is hardly inspiring. But I start my day with some satisfaction that I’m one step closer to becoming someone like ed519 even if it would take me years!
Remember that the 10000-hour-rule is BS. I realized that I can have fun 'while in the learning phase' and I could hit a wonderful break even before that. Just develop a couple of life-changing habits and you’ll do great.