Ahaha. I agree with one minor modification. There is a fourth type that is much more common outside of of SV, especially in New York: the "PE VC". These are guys that should've been private equity guys, and they don't have operating experience at startups, or tech companies. They have banking backgrounds.
They look at deals through the lens of like "how am I teeing this up to be acquired by who?"
They also retain a vestigial tendency to just look for deal volume, so they're always trying to get one little startup to acquire another one, way to early, in different businesses with different cultures and teams because of the crummiest whiteboard reasoning about strategy or synergy. Like 'this company makes speech-to-text IVR software, this company does food delivery...lets merge the two and have voice-based food delivery.' That's actually not even a bad enough example. But they seriously strongly prefer 'doing bad deals' to 'not doing deals' as if they were still living in a fee-based world.
These are the VCs you avoid.
They look at deals through the lens of like "how am I teeing this up to be acquired by who?"
They also retain a vestigial tendency to just look for deal volume, so they're always trying to get one little startup to acquire another one, way to early, in different businesses with different cultures and teams because of the crummiest whiteboard reasoning about strategy or synergy. Like 'this company makes speech-to-text IVR software, this company does food delivery...lets merge the two and have voice-based food delivery.' That's actually not even a bad enough example. But they seriously strongly prefer 'doing bad deals' to 'not doing deals' as if they were still living in a fee-based world.
These are the VCs you avoid.