startup_spouse's comments

startup_spouse | 15 years ago | on: Autism’s First Child

Oh that makes me immensely happy to read! It's always a good feeling when other 20-somethings with ASD are doing well :)

startup_spouse | 15 years ago | on: Autism’s First Child

Mea culpa. I should have been more clear about that :)

Jenny McCarthy was on MTV back in the day. Also in Playboy. Her son is on the spectrum and she believes it was caused by vaccinations. She doesn't like when people refer to people with autism as "autistic" because she thinks it's the equivalent of calling someone with cancer "cancerous". I respect her passion for helping her son, but I disagree with her. It's a fine balance: parents of small children with autism want to fight for their children's rights and protect them... but sometimes it's the parents themselves who are placing these kids in a tight box that's very limiting. Try to avoid that with your kids (yeah, easy peasy, right?).

Labels are indeed a necessary evil in order to talk about anything, really. In an ideal world, I'd like it to be a label that was mutually agreed upon, not forced on me. But, I think my vote should count for a bit more ;)

Please feel free to contact me if there's anything I can shed light on regarding your kids and ASD :)

startup_spouse | 15 years ago | on: Autism’s First Child

I will definitely have to watch it.

Yes, a "mental challenge" just like it might be a mental challenge for someone without my skill set to do something that I excel at naturally, yet I don't call them "mentally challenged". But that's not the issue.

There are some people who, when using "mentally challenged", are relying on your implicit understanding of those connotations to communicate something else. It is by pretending those connotations aren't there that we now have stereotypes about autism, etc. It's why people tell me I don't "look like" I have autism.

So, in that sense... I don't think it's fair. But I'm an Aspie and that renders my opinion on the matter of my own labeling inconsequential ;)

startup_spouse | 15 years ago | on: Autism’s First Child

Yes, some cases are severe. But not all. Which is which is why I, personally, don't think the whole lot should be referred to as "mentally challenged". But that's just my opinion.

I'm an Aspie and don't consider my social deficiencies to be a form of being mentally challenged. I just see my brain as being wired differently than others. I excel at some things my husband is terrible at. He excels at other things I'm terrible at. It doesn't make sense to arbitrarily assign me with the mentally challenged label in that context. In protest, I reject the label :) If we met, you probably wouldn't even know I was an Aspie. I've been told I don't "look like" someone with autism. I don't know what that means, but I'm pretty sure it has to do with stereotyping and labels.

I also say "autistic". I don't care if Jenny McCarthy thinks it sounds like I'm calling myself cancer. Even if she is hot ;)

I'm not saying you're guilty of this, but for many of us (Aspies, Auties) it feels like other people label us and we're not allowed to even engage in a discussion about our own label.

startup_spouse | 15 years ago | on: Autism’s First Child

I wasn't trying to be PC at all. I'm the least PC person I know: I'm an Aspie, I have little to no filter. I was just seeking clarification :)

startup_spouse | 15 years ago | on: Autism’s First Child

Thanks for clarifying :)

No need to apologize. The phrase "mentally challenged" is used by many people, with different meanings and intentions. Rather than jump on you straight away, I wanted to be sure of what you meant.

As someone on the spectrum, I like hearing/reading what other people think about it and their associations, etc. I prefer to think of myself as just having a differently wired brain (i.e. there are some things I excel at that others don't, and vice versa).

startup_spouse | 15 years ago | on: Autism’s First Child

I'm really curious. What about reading this article made you think of Elling and what you refer to as "mentally challenged folk"?

Maybe I'm missing something (I haven't seen the movie, but from the imdb link you posted, no mention of autism)... but it seems to me like you're saying "having autism = being mentally challenged". Am I misinterpreting? I hope so :(

startup_spouse | 15 years ago | on: Register to Become Featured in FastCompany

I'm surprised to see this for 2 reasons:

1) While I don't really have an opinion on it, I was under the impression that the general consensus was any combination of the following: - it's misleading - it's unscientific - it's a Ponzi scheme - it's a load of crap

2) Isn't this a million years old in internet years now? ;)

startup_spouse | 16 years ago | on: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?

Thank you. I tried to be neutral without sounding stuffy, as a lot of lit with "s/he" tends to sound (in my opinion). Plus it really annoys me when people assume all entrepreneurs are men, or that no entrepreneurs are gay. I may not always remember to do the "s/he" thing, but I wanted the first post to establish that neutrality.

If you want a supportive partner, you will find one. It may not happen right away and it'll probably be when/where you least expect it, but it'll happen. In the meantime, don't be any less than 100% happy just because you haven't found him yet :) You know that saying about smiling all the time because you never know who could be falling in love with your smile at that moment? Yeah it sounds cheesy but it's true ;)

It would be great if there was a study done about whether those attributes are more common in women. I'm sure there are some great men to be found that would gladly give up centre stage to a strong woman :) I'll keep my eyes open ;)

Wait, did I just add matchmaker to my list of duties? lol

startup_spouse | 16 years ago | on: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?

That is great advice. We've noticed the same half-listening thing. I'm just as guilty if my husband tries to speak to me when I'm working on any writing or translation projects. Or even if I'm engrossed in a Twitter convo ;)

A startup marriage takes effort (from both sides) but it really is worth it and so much fun :)

Thanks for the link and the feedback!

startup_spouse | 16 years ago | on: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?

Thanks so much. I'd love to hear any stories she'd like to share.

The business card idea is brilliant! Maybe I should offer those? lol

I've added a share widget to the sidebar, thanks for the suggestion :)

startup_spouse | 16 years ago | on: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?

... You're pulling my leg, right? :)

You must be really good at managing your time, being efficient, and resisting the urge to take your work to bed with you!

Do you offer coaching services? lol

startup_spouse | 16 years ago | on: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?

Oh God, yeah. Working like crazy for yourself is one thing. Forcing others to adopt crazy work habits is another.

If people are genuinely excited about working for you and choose to put in long hours, you thank them, reward them for their efforts and remind them to go home, eat, sleep, spend time with their family, etc. Some people have higher thresholds, some people lower, so I don't think you can enforce any particular rule straight across the board. But you can provide a healthy environment. If my husband ever became a tyrant, he wouldn't be my husband anymore. He knows that :)

startup_spouse | 16 years ago | on: Ask HN: Do you have a startup spouse?

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. I'm glad you and your co-founder both have supportive wives, as I do feel we add a lot ;) I would love to hear their stories sometime!
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