whynpd's comments

You’re on a great path already, buddy. Even if you don’t know yet how to escape your inner hell. I used to have a lot of anger as well, and sometimes still do, but also felt guilty about it later on, and knew it was unjustified. It’s all about the unresolved deeper issues. I’d try to find a therapist experienced with NPD that you can also trust completely, and trust the process.

Exactly this. I now think that my first therapist had experience with NPD and was treating it without me realizing that. But then I felt the progress was too slow so changed the therapist to someone who I now think did more damage than good. During this time is also when I had my collapse. Due to fortunate circumstances I’m now finally going to a therapist who is extremely experienced with NPD and does not let me fool her or myself. So to your point, yes it’s very tricky, and @zwkrt comment above is very accurate.

Going to write this anonymously as someone who has went through a serious narcissistic collapse 5 months ago. All I can say is that the collapse is the only, and rare opportunity for a narcissistic to begin real change. It’s like reaching the bottom, same as when alcoholic ruins his life and only then begins to change. I felt like I reached my own bottom and there was nowhere to hide anymore. There are lower bottoms to reach but that was enough for me. I was going to therapy before the collapse but after that went even deeper. If a narcissist has enough self-awareness and a willingness to change, as painful as it is, it can be a gift in disguise. I’ll also add that narcissism is a spectrum and beyond a certain point, a full-on NPD is just incapable of change.