I want to write a tutorial/guide that would help other programmers. There are a lot of quality _technical_ guides available and I don't want to write just another one. So I'd like to create something _non-technical_ (productivity, communication, work-life balance...?) that programmers would find useful.
There are some people that are magical. You go into a meeting with your mind made up, and then 30 minutes later, you leave the meeting with a completely different mindset. And you don't know how they managed to convince you so successfully. If you could figure that trick out, most of your non-technical career problems would be solved. I've personally never learned this skill of persuasiveness, but I'd pay a lot of money if someone could teach me quickly.
Check out the book How to Win Friends and Influence People [1]. The author, Dale Carnegie, used to teach a hugely popular course on that. I held off reading the book for a long time because I thought that it was about being manipulative. It's not at all. It's about being a good person.
Well, I can recommend the book "How to win friends and influence people". I can echo other commenters have already said and suggest.
1. Say less.
2. Listen more.
3. Think of everything from the other people's point of view and honestly consider what is best for them.
I think one thing you said was quite telling: "you go into a meeting with your mind made up". I'd suggest trying to being open to having your mind changed is a good first step too ;)
>I've personally never learned this skill of persuasiveness,
The few people I've met like this were pretty much office bullies. There's no mythical silver tongued nice guy. When someone dominates the meeting and shoves his agenda into your face and argues until you're exhausted, well, that works because he's not worth fighting. The question is do you want to be a person like that? Pretty much anyone can be taught to be a Gordon Gekko or a GlenGarry Glen Ross's Blake.
I don't take my job remotely seriously enough or care to modify how I act for crap like this. I kinda pity those who do. They seem to get their validation and emotional fulfillment only from work.
The above might be overly critical, but I think everyone hits a point in their career where they have to decide where they will draw the line in terms of personal modification to get ahead. There are so many more asshole-ish ways I could be at work that would definitely lead me to a higher level of success. I just consider it against my moral system to be a person like that and think its absurd that we have to do this constant study of "how to get ahead" just to make a decent living. Threads like this just depress me. Work life shouldn't make this kind of demand on our personal and internal lives. I think if everyone pushed back more against employers, we'd all be happier, instead we have this rat-race that we accept as perfectly normal and rational. Its not.
You can become better at this by doing it a lot. Every time a situation presents itself where you can try to convince someone of something, try to do it just for the heck of it. Most people evade these situations, but if you keep at it, it will improve.
Persuasion is independent of "shyness" (actually, being an introvert) but a lot of it has to do with natural talent, unfortunately [1]. You can definitely improve it, but some people are just born with a higher degree of "energy transitivity". For instance, their face have more muscles and they're wired in such a way that it is easier for them to control it, among other things.
[1] Malcom Gladwell wrote about this briefly in "The Tipping Point". You can learn more on this by looking up the book "Emotional Contagion" by Elaine Hatfield, John Cacioppo and Richard Rapson. There's also Howard Friedman, from the University of California, who created the Affective Communication Test, which aims to give an individual a measure of his personal carisma - this transmissive or "magical" ability you speak of:
http://www.faculty.ucr.edu/~friedman/act.html
Read Dale Carnegie's classic "How to Win Friends and Influence People"; it's still in print 70 years after it was published for a reason.
The Dale Carnegie Company also offers instructor-led training in small classes. Having taken it, I would recommend taking the in-person course if you can; nearly every major city has a DC office. If you're willing it to take it seriously and put work into it, it can be quite beneficial.
Leadership. No skill (rather, set of skills) will be more universally applicable throughout the entirety of your career and become more heavily weighted the higher you climb.
Are you an engineer? What skill(s) will you be leveraging most as a Director or VP of Engineering? Leadership.
Are you a designer? What skill(s) will you be leveraging most as a Director or VP of Design? Leadership.
Are you a <fill in the blank>? What skill(s) will...you get it.
Back in my time at Georgia Tech, Warren Buffet came to speak and told an anecdote about a media executive who would go play records at one of his radio stations in the middle of the night. Buffet said something to the effect of, "the farther I get into this business, the farther away I become from why I got into this business."
I started working professionally at small companies in 1997 as a "Web Developer." I finished my degree in 2004 and I've been doing software engineering since then. I'm currently a Director of Engineering at PayPal and, while my technical skills are useful, my primary role is centered around the leadership of a large team. I haven't written a line of code professionally in over a year. I share these same statements with my managers and engineers from my team. Always be developing your leadership skills--they stay with you forever.
Leadership isn't management... It will make you a good manager but if you are an engineer today, then being a leader is totally possible. Its about being proactive, helpful, thoughtful and "solutions oriented" (if you spot a problem, bring a solution or better yet two to the table with it). Be the person your peers reach out to when they are stuck.
What helped me most is to have conversations with strangers. Try it in real life. Talk to the guy sitting alone at the bar. Have small-talk with the other person pumping gas. This will help you professionally.
I second that. Been able to initiate small talk with anyone you meet just out of the blue is invaluable. And it will affect both your personal and professional life.
Public speaking. I joined Toastmasters [1] at the start of the year and highly recommend it. Friendly, supportive atmosphere. Challenging, assuming you're not currently comfortable speaking in front of groups. Lots of people who've been there a while comment on howit's improved their careers. One of the most useful bits is learning to evaluate other people's speeches, a skill which can be applied in a variety of situations, and (so I'm told - I'm still learning) leaves a very positive impression on people.
I am not the world's best public speaker, but I do enjoy it. Some of the things that have made me better at it include realizing:
* I will always be nervous before a performance.
* The audience doesn't know what I'm about to say, so they don't know if I "screw up" most of the time.
* Live demos will go wrong. :)
* Talking to 30 people is actually easier than talking to 3 people, because you don't have to pay individual attention to anyone.
The worst part for me anymore is preparing the slide decks.
Writing is far and away my number one suggestion. It's not even a contest.
A well-written developer is someone who can organize their thoughts and then express them in a way that others can understand. This requires mental discipline, clarity of thought, empathy, and intelligence, all of which are skills that will take any developer to new heights.
It's not a trait I started out in life blessed with but the older I get the more I realise that understanding why something is being said is frequently much more important than what is being said.
This is important, and I think it's actually the key skill underlying the "powers of persuasion" mentioned in other replies. If you can empathize with a person's feelings and motivations, you can explain why your idea or proposal will help them, which is key to convincing them.
Most companies have the following departments, or roles:
Accounting, Marketing, Reporting/Data Analysts, Customer Service, Design/UI/Product, and Sales.
Weather your running the website or building the software you sell lots of these folks are going to have varying levels of contact with it. By understanding what these folks do (even at a high level) and the language they use, your going to be able to communicate with them and service them better. Building relationships in other departments can be as simple as being friendly to the people you meet, and getting them out of the office for coffee or lunch on a regular basis. Ask them lots of questions and build a relationship.
If the economy tanks, you might find yourself surrounded by people who didn't really deserve to be in their jobs, but floated up with the high tide of a buoyant economy. These are the people who will resort to nasty office politics to keep their jobs.
I don't really know of a defense other than participate in their bullshit talk, politics, etc. Seems like the more incompetent people are, the more they talk, to hide their incompetence and use personal skills to stay afloat.
Bullshit Artists get so far in American organizations. Far, far more than elsewhere where people are less enchanted by nonsense fluff.
Since you said "career" specifically, I would say communication. If you can tactfully ask and figure out what direction you need to develop in, or if you can be persuasive and make a compelling argument, your can be much more effective in advancing your career. You'll also make friends and allies along the way.
Technically creative and curious business analysts area an role that will be emerging in the next few years, having one group to do B1, and another to do tech is fast going out the window. Techies can learn business much easier than most business folks can learn tech from my observations and experience.
Why is this important?
The single most important skill I see needed in technical people is empathy to the problems people are solving. Just because it's trivial to one group to solve, or prioritize does not mean it's not valuable. Being able to put yourself in the actual shoes of the user, their needs, their perspectives to ultimately empower them, instead of taking the easy way of interpreting from a distance how they must do their job/task based on how you would approach it.
There is a great deal of intellectual capital in any organization where people have a "why" of how to do things a certain way that is not 100% the standard procedure.
These things form the competitive advantage that software developers, implementors, and consultants can kill in an organization.
Want to be a better software developer? Help people solve problems better in their terms, not our own. Whether it is a sales, marketing, production, design or management problem, being able to relate to the problem and how it's beneficial to solve is the single biggest valuable skill that I have landed on.
Branding/marketing oneself, how to make solid career decisions, and general job search type activities don't help you on a day-to-day basis like productivity and communication, but they can greatly impact the overall career trajectory and how you can maximize your chances of achieving whatever goals you have in your career (advancement, $, independence, etc.).
There are thousands of programmers who are incredibly good at what they do (programming), but aren't being considered for jobs because they don't know how to market/write/talk about their own experience. What to write (and leave off) on a resume, a cover letter/email application, LinkedIn profile, what to mention in an interview, how to define an accomplishment, etc.
Job searches, interviewing, negotiating, how to make good career decisions based on your goals - these are all things that don't happen every day, so programmers aren't all that likely to really get good at them. Most other professional industries don't see the volume of career change that we see in tech, where it's reasonable that someone could change jobs several times in a decade. Knowing how and when to change jobs, how to handle those changes, and making good overall career decisions is a skill many lack.
1) Time management, 2) Efficiency in learning in all endeavors, not just technical.
With those two skills, all other skills can be obtained more readily, including the need for better oral and written communication.
Empathy and salesmanship require a modicum of innate ability. Everyone can certainly improve on their potential. I've never met a career salesperson who didn't already have some proclivity for sales.
Learn to listen. Not just to your peers, but to everyone. Don't just hear the words they are saying, give them meaning, build a mental model, and be able to re-itterate their statements into your own language (even if you don't share these things out loud).
Listening skills are going to get you FAR in business and life, and your going to hear lots of stuff that has nothing to do with your job. Learn NOT to repeat every thing you hear.
Sadly offices have as much gossip if not more than your average high school. Once people know they can trust you to keep your mouth shut, a well spring of interesting knowledge is going to start to fall in your lap. Some times this is just personal drama, but knowing that person A has a grudge with person B can some times be a clue to how a situation is going to resolve itself.
Sort of career related: learn to live within your means, always trying to save some of your salary. This does a few things for your career: allows you to leave bad jobs, reduces worry and stress which should improve your job performance, and generally adds flexibility to your life.
Probably my number one recommendation would be effective public speaking combined with effective writing of presentations of ideas. If you can't communicate your ideas both effectively and persuasively, you will be severely hobbled in your career. Even for people on the technical track rather than the management track, as you become more senior, you'll be expected to explain your architecture / designs to junior engineers looking to your for guidance.
Even if you are severely introverted (I am) you need to make as much effort as possible to overcome it. People who can't communicate are effectively invisible, regardless of how well they do their jobs, and invisible people are replaceable people.
Raise your EQ but don't spend too much time worrying about what other people think of you. The business exists to reduce transactional costs between the things needed to build and sell your product.
Would love to know how to go about finding places that build physical "stuff" both at a prototype stage and at scale. I have hardware + software ideas but I'm not clear on how to build customized hardware (even simple stuff like plastic casings).
Alternatively, sales. Working at large software companies has given me a lot of exposure to software engineering and product management, but I rarely get to see the sales process.
[+] [-] Jemaclus|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mkolodny|9 years ago|reply
[1] http://www.yourcoach.be/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Dale...
[+] [-] patrickdavey|9 years ago|reply
1. Say less.
2. Listen more.
3. Think of everything from the other people's point of view and honestly consider what is best for them.
I think one thing you said was quite telling: "you go into a meeting with your mind made up". I'd suggest trying to being open to having your mind changed is a good first step too ;)
[+] [-] paulcole|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] drzaiusapelord|9 years ago|reply
The few people I've met like this were pretty much office bullies. There's no mythical silver tongued nice guy. When someone dominates the meeting and shoves his agenda into your face and argues until you're exhausted, well, that works because he's not worth fighting. The question is do you want to be a person like that? Pretty much anyone can be taught to be a Gordon Gekko or a GlenGarry Glen Ross's Blake.
I don't take my job remotely seriously enough or care to modify how I act for crap like this. I kinda pity those who do. They seem to get their validation and emotional fulfillment only from work.
The above might be overly critical, but I think everyone hits a point in their career where they have to decide where they will draw the line in terms of personal modification to get ahead. There are so many more asshole-ish ways I could be at work that would definitely lead me to a higher level of success. I just consider it against my moral system to be a person like that and think its absurd that we have to do this constant study of "how to get ahead" just to make a decent living. Threads like this just depress me. Work life shouldn't make this kind of demand on our personal and internal lives. I think if everyone pushed back more against employers, we'd all be happier, instead we have this rat-race that we accept as perfectly normal and rational. Its not.
[+] [-] mion|9 years ago|reply
Persuasion is independent of "shyness" (actually, being an introvert) but a lot of it has to do with natural talent, unfortunately [1]. You can definitely improve it, but some people are just born with a higher degree of "energy transitivity". For instance, their face have more muscles and they're wired in such a way that it is easier for them to control it, among other things.
[1] Malcom Gladwell wrote about this briefly in "The Tipping Point". You can learn more on this by looking up the book "Emotional Contagion" by Elaine Hatfield, John Cacioppo and Richard Rapson. There's also Howard Friedman, from the University of California, who created the Affective Communication Test, which aims to give an individual a measure of his personal carisma - this transmissive or "magical" ability you speak of: http://www.faculty.ucr.edu/~friedman/act.html
[+] [-] GrumpyYoungMan|9 years ago|reply
The Dale Carnegie Company also offers instructor-led training in small classes. Having taken it, I would recommend taking the in-person course if you can; nearly every major city has a DC office. If you're willing it to take it seriously and put work into it, it can be quite beneficial.
[+] [-] cweagans|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] testingquestion|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] brown-dragon|9 years ago|reply
Many comments have pointed out "How to win friends and influence people" so I'll start there.
[+] [-] murukesh_s|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] bcrescimanno|9 years ago|reply
Are you an engineer? What skill(s) will you be leveraging most as a Director or VP of Engineering? Leadership.
Are you a designer? What skill(s) will you be leveraging most as a Director or VP of Design? Leadership.
Are you a <fill in the blank>? What skill(s) will...you get it.
Back in my time at Georgia Tech, Warren Buffet came to speak and told an anecdote about a media executive who would go play records at one of his radio stations in the middle of the night. Buffet said something to the effect of, "the farther I get into this business, the farther away I become from why I got into this business."
I started working professionally at small companies in 1997 as a "Web Developer." I finished my degree in 2004 and I've been doing software engineering since then. I'm currently a Director of Engineering at PayPal and, while my technical skills are useful, my primary role is centered around the leadership of a large team. I haven't written a line of code professionally in over a year. I share these same statements with my managers and engineers from my team. Always be developing your leadership skills--they stay with you forever.
[+] [-] zer00eyz|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] vldx|9 years ago|reply
In this context - I highly recommend to anyone interested checking out "Becoming a Technical Leader" by Gerald Weinberg.
[+] [-] jetengine|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] elorant|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] debugunit|9 years ago|reply
[1] https://www.toastmasters.org/
[+] [-] pmiller2|9 years ago|reply
* I will always be nervous before a performance. * The audience doesn't know what I'm about to say, so they don't know if I "screw up" most of the time. * Live demos will go wrong. :) * Talking to 30 people is actually easier than talking to 3 people, because you don't have to pay individual attention to anyone.
The worst part for me anymore is preparing the slide decks.
[+] [-] zzalpha|9 years ago|reply
A well-written developer is someone who can organize their thoughts and then express them in a way that others can understand. This requires mental discipline, clarity of thought, empathy, and intelligence, all of which are skills that will take any developer to new heights.
[+] [-] mark_l_watson|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] simonswords82|9 years ago|reply
It's not a trait I started out in life blessed with but the older I get the more I realise that understanding why something is being said is frequently much more important than what is being said.
[+] [-] bonniemuffin|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] zer00eyz|9 years ago|reply
Accounting, Marketing, Reporting/Data Analysts, Customer Service, Design/UI/Product, and Sales.
Weather your running the website or building the software you sell lots of these folks are going to have varying levels of contact with it. By understanding what these folks do (even at a high level) and the language they use, your going to be able to communicate with them and service them better. Building relationships in other departments can be as simple as being friendly to the people you meet, and getting them out of the office for coffee or lunch on a regular basis. Ask them lots of questions and build a relationship.
[+] [-] moon_of_moon|9 years ago|reply
Ergo, learn to defend yourself from it.
[+] [-] cylinder|9 years ago|reply
Bullshit Artists get so far in American organizations. Far, far more than elsewhere where people are less enchanted by nonsense fluff.
[+] [-] personjerry|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] j45|9 years ago|reply
Why is this important?
The single most important skill I see needed in technical people is empathy to the problems people are solving. Just because it's trivial to one group to solve, or prioritize does not mean it's not valuable. Being able to put yourself in the actual shoes of the user, their needs, their perspectives to ultimately empower them, instead of taking the easy way of interpreting from a distance how they must do their job/task based on how you would approach it.
There is a great deal of intellectual capital in any organization where people have a "why" of how to do things a certain way that is not 100% the standard procedure.
These things form the competitive advantage that software developers, implementors, and consultants can kill in an organization.
Want to be a better software developer? Help people solve problems better in their terms, not our own. Whether it is a sales, marketing, production, design or management problem, being able to relate to the problem and how it's beneficial to solve is the single biggest valuable skill that I have landed on.
[+] [-] fecak|9 years ago|reply
There are thousands of programmers who are incredibly good at what they do (programming), but aren't being considered for jobs because they don't know how to market/write/talk about their own experience. What to write (and leave off) on a resume, a cover letter/email application, LinkedIn profile, what to mention in an interview, how to define an accomplishment, etc.
Job searches, interviewing, negotiating, how to make good career decisions based on your goals - these are all things that don't happen every day, so programmers aren't all that likely to really get good at them. Most other professional industries don't see the volume of career change that we see in tech, where it's reasonable that someone could change jobs several times in a decade. Knowing how and when to change jobs, how to handle those changes, and making good overall career decisions is a skill many lack.
[+] [-] brown-dragon|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] davidwihl|9 years ago|reply
With those two skills, all other skills can be obtained more readily, including the need for better oral and written communication.
Empathy and salesmanship require a modicum of innate ability. Everyone can certainly improve on their potential. I've never met a career salesperson who didn't already have some proclivity for sales.
[+] [-] snarfy|9 years ago|reply
You'll feel better and have more energy throughout the day.
[+] [-] zer00eyz|9 years ago|reply
Listening skills are going to get you FAR in business and life, and your going to hear lots of stuff that has nothing to do with your job. Learn NOT to repeat every thing you hear.
Sadly offices have as much gossip if not more than your average high school. Once people know they can trust you to keep your mouth shut, a well spring of interesting knowledge is going to start to fall in your lap. Some times this is just personal drama, but knowing that person A has a grudge with person B can some times be a clue to how a situation is going to resolve itself.
[+] [-] mark_l_watson|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] GrumpyYoungMan|9 years ago|reply
Even if you are severely introverted (I am) you need to make as much effort as possible to overcome it. People who can't communicate are effectively invisible, regardless of how well they do their jobs, and invisible people are replaceable people.
[+] [-] dbcurtis|9 years ago|reply
TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking
Impossible to Ignore: Creating Memorable Content to Influence Decisions
Both are insightful and exciting.
[+] [-] uberstuber|9 years ago|reply
Leadership, Public speaking, persuasiveness/sales, writing, copy-writing, storytelling, design, diet, exercise, mental focus, personal appearance
Maybe target ones that programmers typically lack.
[+] [-] antisthenes|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sjg007|9 years ago|reply
[+] [-] abbasaamer|9 years ago|reply
Alternatively, sales. Working at large software companies has given me a lot of exposure to software engineering and product management, but I rarely get to see the sales process.