Ask HN: When did you last put yourself out of your comfort zone?

[krmmalik]

When did you last push yourself past your comfort zone or do something spontaneous?

What it is that you did, and what was the outcome?

I'm trying to determine whether pushing oneself past the comfort zone always results in a positive outcome.

I thought asking the question on here might get me a good sample. ;-)

[znt]

Well this happened out of my consent but I guess it may be called an experience out of my comfort zone:

I'm a computer engineer and every man has to serve in the army for a limited period in my country. Normally computer guys like me are selected to work in army's computer and communication centers, but I submitted my papers late and instead of working in such center I was selected to be a mountain commando squad leader (no joke). Even the officers who were giving us basic training told me people in my profession generally aren't selected (and suited) for that kind of training.

After 3 months of basic training (think of heavy marine training, but you climb up mountains as well) we were assigned to our squads and my squad was in the eastern warzone in Turkey, just near northern Iraq. During 8 months of my battalion service I was responsible for the lives of 18 men and went on to the missions which included searching for IEDs, securing roads for military convoys, patrolling base perimeter at night and ambushing terrorist routes during midnight. I repeat again, I'm just a decent computer engineer, and has no battle experience besides Call of Duty series.

My squad didn't have any casualities but other squads were attacked by both IEDs and automatic rifles, and some soldiers were injured. I guess I should consider myself lucky for that. It was a traumatic experience both for me and my family. My service ended in this February but still I have nightmares somedays.

So yeah that was out of my comfort zone, I really don't know if it did me any good or not.

[timwiseman]

My Army service was voluntary, and somewhat less traumatic, but it similarly expanded my horizons and gave me a very different perspective on things. I consider it one of the better things I have done in my life both in terms of personal development and in terms of contributing.

I served as an officer in both Iraq and Afghanistan and while I have been to England before, seeing those places gave me a very different perspective on the world. Similarly, being in charge of men in combat zones is very different than managing a technical group.

[_b8r0]

Wow, that was pretty hardcore. Have they stopped the buy out option in Turkey to limit your military service a few months?

[fsniper]

Sorry but I should say this in Turkish; Geçmiş olsun! Well I'm in a bad situation now. I've been postponing military duty because of obesity for the last 3 years. In 2 years time I could be out of service. But I've lost over 40 Kgs. In this September I may be called for duty :(

[krmmalik]

Wow, that's an experience and a half. It must have taught you something positive, no?

[jat850]

Four years ago, I moved to Montreal, Quebec, without a job to land in.

I gravely underestimated how important true bilingualism was in finding employment as a software developer. After a number of interviews where I was told, in as many words (or sometimes in not so many), that they would always give the job to a bilingual candidate over an English-only speaker, I took some time off from the traditional job search. During this time I played poker to sustain myself and support my girlfriend as she started her own business.

I moved in with my Quebecois girlfriend and her six year old son. I worked in carpentry for 6 months, completely immersed in a French/Italian speaking environment. It was exhausting (I had a 90 minute commute each way and a 12 hour workday), I was working for a pittance (< $10/hour), I was broke and discouraged.

I eventually landed some independent development work and quit construction. 12 months later I landed in a very stable situation.

Without a savings safety net, I couldn't see myself doing that again. But I came out of it alright, learned a lot, and oddly enough, loved the perspective that working manual labour brought me.

[mtw]

are you doing a tech project in mtl now?

[timwiseman]

To directly address whether leaving the comfort zone always results in a positive outcome, the answer is clearly no. Putting aside the obvious possibility of something going catastrophically wrong (to use an old quote: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!), there are some types of knowledge you may not want.

I personally benefitted greatly from my military service, but I have friends that bear both physical and mental scars from it. For them, it did not have a personally positive outcome (I emphasize the personally because they served honorably and contributing greatly to their country.). Similarly, I have two close friends in law enforcement. They both are stronger for their work and have had many interesting experiences, but many people would not want to have seen some of the things they have or had to make some of the choices they did.

With that said, it generally has a positive outcome, especially if you are talking about things like just studying a new programming language or academic subject.

[vyrotek]

Quitting my job and working full-time on my startup was spontaneous and definitely out of my comfort zone. Basically, I had been working at night on my project for a while and an opportunity to get funding landed out of nowhere. Within a few months I found myself discussing the opportunity with my wife (who at the time was pregnant with our 2nd child) and then I quit my day job.

That's where I'm at today. But every day I feel more comfortable being out of my comfort zone... if that makes any sense. There are so many opportunities, experiences and connections that I have developed while working on my startup. My only fear now is going back to that old comfort zone. I'm working hard so I don't have to :)

[wlievens]

Could you elaborate on the "funding out of nowhere" story? Sounds like an interesting anecdote at first sight :-)

[JangoSteve]

Since high school, I've made it a habit to put myself outside my comfort zone every chance I get. Adopting this frame of mind has had an interesting effect. Every time I get nervous or anxious about doing something, I subsequently calm down and feel reassured in knowing that I'm doing what I set out to do.

To answer your question directly: yesterday. I did a live on-air interview on ABC Radio Newcastle (Australia) on a topic for which I'm no expert. I just happened to write an article on the science behind having a bad day. Lifehacker picked it up. Then ABC Radio is called me for an interview. What was I going to do, turn down an opportunity to be interviewed on the radio? So, I played the role of expert.

[noname123]

I'm curious as to how you go about calming down and feeling reassured in going into the unknown. Specifically, what and if any self-talk you would engage in, any certain ritual/pre-game technique and what kind of frame of mind you get yourself into.

[krmmalik]

Amazing. So what's the end result? How do you feel after having done it?

[tricky]

>I'm trying to determine whether pushing oneself past the comfort zone always results in a positive outcome.

It won't, but that's not the point. It is about the journey and growing as a person and crying and having the time of your life.

[d_mcgraw]

I think it will for the exact same reason. It is about the journey not the destination, but even if the journey is shit you have learned and grown which I believe are positive outcomes.

[fsniper]

I did it with my eating and workout habits and lost over 40Kg :) It really feels good not to be an obese :)

[wlievens]

That is impressive. Congratulations.

[soysoloyo]

That's one of the best things one can do to oneself! Congratulations!

I lost almost 45kg too and it is just unbelievable how life can change. Just curious, what is your age? (I am almost 40)

[fsniper]

And now I'm thinking of working abroad. Are there any European company or startup looking for a senior Linux system administrator here?

[krmmalik]

Congratulations from me too!

[nagrom]

I just moved from Glasgow to Geneva to work at CERN (a particle physics lab) for 2 months.

It's been much more difficult than I expected, and I was apprehensive to begin with!

However, when things are uncomfortable I tend to fret for a while and then, eventually, take control of my situation. Sometimes you need to go through that period of discomfort to regain control of your life which has seemingly slipped from your grasp without your noticing it.

I regularly leave my home city to work abroad for months at a time. Sometimes it's fantastic. And sometimes (rarely) it becomes a mess.

When it goes well, it's great. New experiences and new people give you a whole new perspective on life. And if it doesn't go great, then it's probably simple enough to go back to your comfort zone and truly appreciate what you have. If it's not easy to go back - was it really your comfort zone?

[cherif]

Geneva is not always an easy place for expats. I was living there for 3 years before moving to the US. If you need anything to make your stay more enjoyable (tips, etc), let me know. My email is my HN user name at gmail. Good luck!

[commanda]

Speaking at a developer conference.

I've always been a natural on stage - as a dancer (as a child, through highschool, and in college (although that was a different kind of dancing)), as an actor (drag king, burlesque), and as a musician (in a band). I've always been terrified to go on stage, but I know once I get there, I'm fine and the fear melts away. But when the organizers of 360iDev asked me to speak at their iPhone developer conference in Denver last year, everything in my body wanted me to say "no way, no, I don't really feel like I know anything about programming". So I said "yes, I'll do it." I knew this would be great for my career - to get more recognition in my field, if I could pull it off.

I spent months researching and preparing my talk. I did okay - not great, but okay. There were several people in the audience who thanked me afterwards and told me they learned a lot. Other people, in reviews they submitted to the organizers, said I could definitely use more practice developing more comprehensible and cohesive slides, and that a lot of my content was obvious and unhelpful. Oh well. I'm glad I did it because it really was a valuable learning experience. A few months later, I was asked to speak at another conference. I declined - the first experience was enough for me.

[mortenjorck]

I got my first taste of conference speaking this year. Last fall, when my UI concept video got all its coverage, I received a couple of invitations to speak at tech conferences for the spring. It was very intimidating at first, especially as these were overseas. My primary fear was that they assumed I had already founded a startup based around the concept and would have all sorts of practical experience to share, so I talked down my experience with them a bit—but they were still interested, so I agreed to go right ahead!

I'd never been abroad before, so I had to do my homework on passports, visas, the Schengen agreement, and so on, while trying to put together something I thought would be of value to the attendees. As the dates drew nearer, I had a number of "I can't believe I'm actually doing this" moments, but I tried to stay confident.

In the end, it was more than worth it. The conferences and hosts were great, I got to experience some other cultures, and even though I still have some work to do on presentation rhythm, the audiences were very receptive.

[marknutter]

I try to play basketball as often as I can, even though it's not my best sport. I grew up playing contact sports like football and rugby, which require far less precision and eye-hand coordination than basketball does.

I also have nerves of glass, and nothing is worse for a basketball shot than being nervous and unconfident. When I play bball with friends and people I'm comfortable with I do quite well, but when I play with strangers who are better than I am, I completely fall apart - dribbling the ball off my foot, throwing up air-balls and missing easy layups, etc.

There's something extremely unnerving about having control of the ball because everyone on the court is acutely focusing on you. Not to mention every time I miss a shot it means I'll be less likely to get passed to the next time which makes it more nerv-wracking to shoot, so it's a vicious cycle.

But despite making a fool of myself more often than not, I keep coming back for more. I'm determined to learn how to control my nerves and adrenaline rushes and try to become more confident in something I don't naturally excel at.

So to answer your final question, it hasn't quite resulted in a positive outcome yet (other than the exercise and a break from hacking, I suppose), but I hope to become a competent, confident BBall player in any environment someday.

[noname123]

I know what you mean. Often-times than not, playing basketball is not so much about shooting and driving-in perfect every-time but what you do but what you do after you make an airball or lose the ball during a drive. A good player would think about why his form was off, make a mental note how to correct it and then shrug it off and shoot/drive again.

Also basketball is an awesome sport to interacting with everyone from society. Ultimate Frisbee you get vegan hippies, Golf/Tennis/Squash you get yuppies, soccer you get a lot of European/Hispanics but basketball you get to interact with everybody.

Also, you don't realize how good you are and how bad everyone else is, because you tend to under-estimate yourself and over-estimate other people's ability. Just count the number of shots good BBall players make on the court versus your field goal percentage, and you'll see that most people on the playground probably consider you already a pro even if you yourself don't think so.

[krmmalik]

Thank you all for the truly great responses. You have all inspired me.

I've always pushed myself past my comfort zone ever since i was a little boy. Thankfully i had a very supportive mother who always encouraged me to explore my limits.

Doing so has always resulted in positive outcomes for me, but in the last few years pushing limits hasnt been quite so positive, or at least i thought it wasnt.

I realise now that its the attitude i take towards the events and circumstances, and what i choose to take away from my experiences.

I will say all in all, that if i happen to push out of my comfort zone as a matter of conscious choice, then the result is always positive, even if seemingly i have failed, for what better than to have learned something.

When its against my consent, i think thats when i tend not to look at things in a positive light, but i should learn to.

Anyway, once again, you have all truly inspired me, with some great experiences.

Thank you.

[sriram_sun]

Walked out of a job (start up) - Jun 2005. Was King Rat in a sinking ship. My blood pressure came down from 144/120 to 112/78. Has been stable ever since. They were going to put me on medication. Work with many intelligent people right now. Life is good, but the call of the startup is getting stronger

[svjunkie]

The idea of an action always "resulting in a positive outcome" depends entirely upon the perspective of the person experiencing the outcome. When you step outside of your comfort zone, something will happen. You may find you love your new experience; you may find you hate it. Either way, you are likely to learn from it, and depending on your time horizon, the newly acquired knowledge may result in "positive" outcomes for years to come.

Consider the situation described by @vyrotek: quitting your job and devoting yourself fully to a startup. There's no guarantee that the startup will grow into a $100 million company or even a $1 million company. You may go into debt, you may lose friends, your girlfriend may leave you because you can no longer offer the stability of a "normal" job. Would that be a negative outcome? Again, it depends. Maybe your business ownership experience makes you a prime candidate for chief executive at a scrappy new startup. Maybe your friends were more concerned with partying than with personal growth, and maybe your girlfriend was in love with your car instead of you.

Obviously, this example isn't all-encompassing and nobody can predict the future. Sometimes, you just need to act without knowing for sure if you're making the "right" choice, and then continually evaluate that choice as you accumulate new experiences. Nothing is permanent; if you take the leap of faith into the startup world you can always return to the job market later. Of course, in this economy it may take you 8-12 months to find a new job so it's wise to have some savings to fall back on.

I stepped out of my comfort zone by moving to a completely new city and then deciding to purchase a franchise business with a friend. I was extremely unsure about both decisions, but I'm glad I moved forward with both. The franchise has been a trying experience, straining my friendship as well as my wallet. However, we're starting to make money and get into a rhythm - an opportunity I wouldn't have had if I hadn't decided to jump in headfirst. There are days I hate where I am, but the experience I gain every day is invaluable, and I'll cherish it for the rest of my life.

[danilocampos]

I think leaving your comfort zone forces you to grow, so even if you sustain some short-term bruising, the overall growth makes it worth it.

I knew I wanted a career in software, but I figured that out just as I finished a completely unrelated degree (business, as it happened). Eventually I decided I was just going to make it happen somehow, bought some books, and started jamming the knowledge into my head.

It was hard at first, but I really loved it once I got going. Way outside my comfort zone, and I felt a bit insecure posting to forums with my complete newb questions.

After really getting serious, with maybe eight months of coding every day after work building stuff I thought was really cool, I said all right, screw everything, this is for me. I did something terrifying: Gave my boss six months notice and started saving for my move to the west coast.

After I moved, I wanted a break from working for the man. I worked for myself another half a year building iPhone apps, sharpening my skills, and generally having a good time. About the time my savings ran out, a Bay Area startup hired me to do product stuff and now, voila, I'm in the industry.

Funny thing is, I miss writing code so I still do it at night after work.

A lot of time out of my comfort zone but a lot of growth, too. And if I hadn't forced myself to do it, I'd still be stuck in Florida, doing work that didn't really connect with what I care about.

So I dunno, I think if you get the sense you're out of your comfort zone, that's the feeling of your mind straining to grow to meet your new challenges. So far, it has worked well for me.

[mcgraw]

IMO, yes, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone always leads to a positive outcome. Here me out. I say this because when you are pushed passed that zone it is largely because of unknown(s). The more that unknown(s) begins to be uncovered the more you begin to accept that path. The more you accept it, the more you learn from it which will directly influence everything you do from there on out.

Even if you accept a path for a short duration, you learned something. As long as you're learning, good and bad, I can only imagine it is a positive outcome.

I haven't pushed myself past my comfort zone for a good while. That might change soon. The studio I'm working for is closing it's doors and my wife really wants to move back to KS from the Bay Area. There isn't a lot of technology there so I'm going to have to figure out a way to shake up the world in a place that dedicates life to aircraft manufacturing.

The time before that was when I took myself and joined the Marines which led to being part of the initial strike of OIF. Nothing quite tests your comfort zone like a combat zone. There are a ton of positives gained from pushing past that comfort zone (Marines, in general). Culture, leadership, work ethic, overcoming & adapting, diversity, and more.

[gyardley]

A couple of days ago, when I went for my first driving lesson in about seventeen years. Driving scares the hell out of me.

The outcome: well, I drove around white-knuckled for a bit, and didn't hurt anybody or damage any property. Not positive or negative yet - it'll be positive if I stick to it and get a driver's license.

That reminds me, I've got to schedule some appointments for next week.

[soysoloyo]

4 months ago I began dancing classes(merengue,salsa,bolero,cumbia), never ever before in my life did any dance, before that I always kept enough physical distance to people, kind of shy with women, etc...and I am having the time of my life! I am enjoying it sooo much that sometimes I doubt it is me :)

[iends]

I started taking dance lessons three weeks ago for my upcoming wedding. I've never danced before and was quite nervous the first lesson. Last night was my last lesson before the wedding and me and my fiancées enjoyed it so much we are trying to find ways to make long term lessons work with our finances. To top it off, I can rumba, foxy, hustle and swing for my wedding. Our first dance is also choreographed. I can't wait to surprise our family and friends who have very low expectations of me when it comes to the reception :)

I think dancing is a great way to meet women too. The number of women at the studio was 2:1 females to males, and the number of women stopping in front of the dance studio to watch me and my fiancée dancing was huge.

[tomjen3]

Dancing is awesome. The dorm I live in had free dancing lessons last year - I got to meet girls and move around the floor looking like a goof for free.

[mattchew]

When I gave notice to my steadiest client that I would be leaving them (too long doing legacy support in A Language That Will Not Be Named). I've worked for them for years, they are the main source of income for our house, and I don't have anything else solid lined up or any good network of other clients.

> I'm trying to determine whether pushing oneself past the comfort zone always results in a positive outcome.

Of course not.

As far as the outcome, ask me again in six months. :)

But in my case, it is time to make a change, whatever the price I may pay in the short term. I don't think I'll regret the choice even if I regret some of the consequences.

[harscoat]

When I moved into another country (Germany) (from home France). Outcome: I now speak another language (german) (still not fluent but evbdy understands me at least that's what they tell me).