Ask HN: What do you wear to work?

[throwawaycloset]

In my first week at a midsize company, I was confronted by the CEO in an elevator. In front of several other employees he interrogated me for overdressing. I was wearing slacks and a dress shirt with buttons (no tie). He was wearing a t-shirt, cargo shorts, and sandals (in February?). He was visibly upset I was overdressed: "Don't you know this company doesn't have a dress code?" I was humiliated.

I am male, in my late 30s, and I am new to software development. I would just buy clothes similar to the people around me but a lot of my peers look like they are in their early 20s and I fear I'd look like a old fool trying to wear hip, casual, millennial clothes. I'm also concerned about going too casual and giving the impression I don't care about my career.

People tell me "just wear normal clothes" but nice clothes are normal too me. I've spent hours searching through candid photos taken at startups for older men wearing clothes as casual as the younger people in the same photo. But the sample size is too small for me to reach any conclusions.

Has anybody else experienced this problem? What did you wear that was as age-neutral as business or business casual but casual enough to fit in? For those of you older than 30, what do you typically wear to work? To meetings? To interviews?

Thank you.

[viraptor]

> He was visibly upset I was overdressed: "Don't you know this company doesn't have a dress code?"

The company has a dress code apparently. It's "forced casual-the-way-CEO-likes-it".

You've really got 2 options: emulate the style, or continue dressing in your style. (Or quit...) Depends if you can handle the potential confrontations and how much you care what you're wearing. It's really up to you.

I've worked with people wearing wife beaters as well as full suits in places which wanted "smart casual". Don't try too hard to look at what other companies/people do. They have their own rules which don't apply to your situation.

[babygoat]

Dress code or no, if I saw someone wearing a wife beater in an office I'd be compelled to ask if they're feeling okay.

[chatmasta]

To give an alternative viewpoint on the CEO, I doubt he was upset. He probably meant to be teasing you, but he's an immature CEO who doesn't realize the effect his power has over subordinates. i.e., he was trying to joke around with you like you were his peer, but didn't realize you might interpret it differently given the power dynamics. He's definitely an idiot, but it sounds like he's more guilty of not realizing his position in life than he is of being actively malicious.

[zunzun]

You were not overdressed; rather, he was underprofessional. Consider either conforming to the dress code he was enforcing, or after some time possibly finding a more professional place to work.

[babygoat]

> conforming to the dress code he was enforcing

Nailed it.

OP, perhaps consider jeans with an untucked dress shirt?

[saluki]

Dude

You are in your 30s. You aren't going to look old.

If you're comfortable in cargo shorts and T-shirts wear them.

That's my typical daily dress because that's what I like wearing. Cargo shorts, long sleeve T and keens, even in winter.

What's your typical casual dress? Maybe go with Khaki Pants and a T-shirt if you're not in to shorts.

You're only as old as you feel, wear what you like. But take advantage of casual.

Y, he was probably just surprised you weren't taking advantage of it. Probably didn't come across the right way. No dress code is sort of like a badge of honor.

I love companies where I can wear what I used to wear to class at college. Definitely a bonus.

Relax, no need to research it . . . just dress down and enjoy it.

[itronitron]

where do I apply?

[jasonkester]

I read this situation differently to you and a lot of other people here. I think your CEO was testing you for your reaction.

It's a confidence test. Or, possibly a "dude" or "bro" test, depending on your CEO's age. You're supposed to match his jocular tone while telling him where he can stuff his ideas on fashion (and his flip flops).

Volleying his smack talk back at him as one does to equals sends a signal. As does obediently Yes Sir, Right Away Sir'ing. As does getting offended. As does being embarrassed and humiliated.

He wanted to see which of those signals you'd send. (And he's probably not the nicest human being for doing so).

[suh_dude]

Your boss is a doofus. If there really is no dress code then just wear what you feel comfortable in. If someone else comments you could reply with something about how "this makes me feel comfortable and puts me in the mindset to work".

[Petrakis]

I wear a shirt and pants, while everyone wears jeans and t-shirts.

We don´t have a specified dress code and they once told me: you know, you dont have to come like this.

My response was, this is my trademark. If a customer comes he will have a good impression.You know what they say, if you want to reach something act and dress as if you are there already.

You are a proffesional, dress like a proffesional.

[matt_s]

I went from working at a Fortune 500 with > 100k employees to a small firm with less than 500 people. You would get weird looks from people in the Fortune 500 if you wore jeans into the HQ. You might bump into the CEO (literally did that once) and you don't want to stand out.

At the new place, I just wear what I want. Usually jeans, polo or nice t-shirt and some kind of fleece/sweater like thing if it is colder out. Some people wear shorts and flip flops in summer.

I think it is a culture shift - some places like Fortune 500 tend to focus more on form rather than function. Lots of ceremony and bureaucratic work practices like getting approvals for things and checking with management for every little action. You would get slightly mocked if you dressed above your pay grade.

Smaller companies, and maybe the culture where you are, want less formality and are more casual. Your actions at such a place speak louder than your clothing choice.

I like just dressing "as myself" basically how I would dress on any normal Saturday. If a company makes me feel like I need to change from that, I treat it like a uniform.

For meetings - are they with customers? If so, ask someone that maintains the relationship with that customer what is appropriate.

For interviews - check the company out, see what social media shows people wearing if it isn't stock photos. And dress a bit above what you think everyone wears to work.

[telebone_man]

I normally wear what, generally, everyone else wears. I know this sounds a bit weak-willed but hear me out...

When I was contracting, I would go from businesses to business, every 6 months or so. I would always start by 'dressing up', full suit. Tie. Etc.

I'd then suss out how people acted on the first impression. Some companies have a culture where a suit = respect and authority. I wanted this because I was there to get a job done quickly and needed people to be on board, as I was only there for a few months.

Then, some companies have alternative views. Suits can provoke anti-establishment mentalities. So, I'll dress more like my colleagues and rely on more honest things to gain that respect.

One man can change the world, by recycling every day, hugging a loved one or cycling instead of driving. But the way people jump to conclusions based on the way someone dresses is unfortunately far too ingrained in our society. And this has been the case for 1000s of years. There's little value in making a statement by wearing something different.

FYI, if I'm not in a suit is probably a plain t-shirt, dark jeans and a 'smart trainer' (such as converse?). Take a look at some of the high-street shops and find a style you like.

[hahla]

Late 30s? You're not old, it seems insane to me that you are googling what normal clothes are..? Put on some jeans and a polo... this isn't exclusively for people in their mid 20's it's for all ages. But regardless it doesn't matter because no CEO should be berating an employee for over dressing that's the more absurd part of this story.

[bernardino]

This might be an outside perspective since I have yet to have my first professional job in software development, but it is absurd the chief executive officer would confront and interrogate you like that. At the very least, call me over to your office and let me know about the dress code. But then again, I can't think of a sound logical reason for not being able to dress formally to work. I would like to know if that is the culture of tech companies? If so, which ones? So I can steer away from them. Like, really? I'm in my early twenties, and I enjoy wearing slacks with a dress shirt tucked in and no tie, it makes me feel confident and good.

I say don't mind too much what people think about your clothing style, wear what makes you comfortable and good (and I suppose, "appropriate" to the dress code).

[pasbesoin]

Suggestion: Could you go "outdoors"? Something that is suitably casual but also doesn't give the appearance you're trying to look an age you are not.

Like you might take a hike later, without changing. Or are spending the weekend at your place in Tahoe.

(Or, with more aggressive selections and attitude, like a fitness type.)

Dunno. But at least I find those clothes both comfortable and age appropriate.

And maybe you'd be buying clothes that you actually want to wear on the weekend, anyway.

As for me, I'm considering a long overdue return to flannel shirts. After catching grief over the idea from a "trendy" friend who subsequently turned out to be a crap friend, anyway, I'm finding my thinking lately reinforced.

Anyway, whether it's suits or anti-suits, some people just want to tell other people how to dress. When I can, I try to avoid them.

[ixacto]

Plaid shirt + black tshirt + dark pants/dark jeans[1] + clean fancy boots[0].

[0]http://www.redwingheritage.com/us/USD/product/mens-footwear/... [1]http://www.hm.com/us/product/83116?article=83116-B

[ponyous]

My advice; Be honest (tell the boss you feel better that way) and don't care beyond that.

I wear jeans + T-Shirt and a Hoodie 99% of the time. I had a super busy week once and forgot to wash any jeans, so I put on trainer pants. Colleagues (even the boss) made fun of me few times during that day. I jokingly explained to them that I forgot to do basics in my life and everyone was happy. I don't think anyone felt any emotions regarding my clothes beyond that few secs we were chatting. I think it will be the same in your case if they are at least a bit professional.

[drakonka]

That sounds like a crappy experience, I'm sorry you had to go through that. It sounds like the CEO acted very unprofessionally.

Personally I am in my late 20s and the dress code here is casual, too. I normally wear jeans and hoodies or sweaters in winter and shorts and skirts/dresses in summer. There are definitely a few people who prefer to dress more formally here (one who used to come in a suit every day, and some who had self-imposed "formal fridays") and nobody game them crap for it (aside from sometimes asking if they've got an interview :))

[protonimitate]

Wear what you want.

He sounds like an inexperienced CEO who is compensating by trying to shame you into dressing like he does.

Unless you're wearing a tuxedo, it's pretty hard to over-dress at work. Be comfortable with what you're wearing, and be confident.

If he brings it up again just say "This is how I like to dress" and leave it at that. If he continues to press, ask him if there is an over-dressing policy at work.

Don't let him bully you because of his title.

[tolnaiz]

Wear whatever you want. "no dresscode" means exactly this. Until it's formally changed, I don't really care what others wear, or what others think. Even if it's the CEO. I am 31, wearing hoodies, jeans and some geeky t-shirt. Most of us dress up similar, some of us wear shirts with buttons or even suits. Everybody is happy I think.

[bradknowles]

I wear black dress pants or jeans (depending on what is clean) and Hawaiian shirts.

If it’s cold outside, I’ll wear waterproof hiking boots.

If it’s warm, I’ll wear Keens sandals.

If people don’t like that, then I’m working in the wrong company.

In the case of the OP, I would take what the CEO said and ask “wait — didn’t you just say that there is no dress code policy?” And then I would give him a very quizzical look.

[markfer]

I imagine he meant it to be more lighthearted than it came off, and wouldn't read much into it.

No dress code = dress how you like. If you like to dress up in slacks and a dress shirt, then so be it.

Don't change your preferences for the CEO. Be confident and stand behind your convictions. If he doesn't respect that - you're going to have muuuuch bigger problems.

[mcgrath_sh]

A couple ways to dress down your current look: - Wear sneakers instead of dress shoes

- Wear a tshirt or hoodie instead of a dress shirt with khaki pants.

- Wear jeans with a polo or dress shirt. This dresses both of those options down. I’d also go with sneakers here.

- Wear a dark tshirt under the button ups and half button them or keep them open. This will (again) give a casual look.