Specifically in the context of engineering management, how frequently do you have 1-on-1s with your direct reports, how do you structure them, and what have you found to work and not work well?
1. This is your time to talk about whatever is on your mind. If you want to talk about the footy over the weekend, that's fine. If you want to talk about work or issues at home or career progression, that's fine.
2. Sometimes there is not much to talk about - and that's fine too. If they do not have much to say on a particular day and I don't have much to say, it's a short meeting.
3. As said previously, try never to reschedule and never, never forget.
4. It's a really good time as a manager to practice listening. For that reason, I never have an agenda (i.e. things I want to say) at these meetings. Also, I try to contain the impulse to give advice unless they specifically ask for it.
5. I make it quite clear that as far as legally possible, I will maintain confidentiality. The only time that something may be relayed upward is if there is requirement for me to do so (e.g. an employee reporting harassment).
Great list. I agree listening is primary, but I think a manager should work to make sure particular topics get discussed. For some people it's enough just to say "what's on your mind?" But for others I find I need to be more specific.
One thing I make sure we don't talk about is status reports. A lot of people have been trained to do that in a 1:1 and I think that's a waste of time. As a manager it's my job to know what's going on; if I don't I should adjust systems so that I do. So that everybody does.
But the things I really want to dig in on are deeper issues. It's my job to make sure my people are happy at the company and are growing in their careers. So if they don't bring it up on their own I'll ask questions about emotional state and emotional reactions to situations. E.g., "How did you feel about that?" "Are you feeling sufficiently challenged?" "What have you learned this week?"
I also think it's valuable to have a list of ongoing themes and to keep returning to them. Otherwise it's easy for an issue to drop into the background. E.g., somebody has an issue with a coworker, or is feeling bored, or thinks we have too many meetings, or thinks we don't take tech debt seriously enough. People mentioning that even once is a gift: I can't fix systemic problems if I don't know about them. And even if the system is fine, I don't want my people just putting up with their jobs. I want them happy.
So it is definitely their time. But I'm also the person with more experience both in the industry and specifically doing 1:1 meetings. I'm also the person with more power to fix many problems. So if they have anything they want to talk about, I'll honor that for sure. But if they don't, I think it's my job to ask good questions.
Does anyone have tips or resources on how to improve their listening skill? I know I'm a terrible listener because I'm always looking for solutions but I know that 80% of the time, they just want to be heard.
I can barely turn off my thoughts when I'm meditating, how can you give your undivided attention without any internal distractions? What do you do when the conversation feels boring or tedious?
I follow this too. I try to meet 1:1 biweekly with my direct reports. Here are some ideas on management that I believe will make this effective
1. Try to meet with every one of you direct reports consistently.
2. I believe you should have less than 8 direct reports. The number is not important. Its that you have the time to meet with each one on a consistent basis.
3. If you have a large team then you need to delegate managerial duties. Work with HR if you can't do it directly. At least set up team leads.
This is a great list. I strictly adhered to them all. I also did the following:
1. Created a Google Doc for the direct to enter an agenda ahead of time. They were not required to fill it out. Many did anyway. It helped me prepare to listen, knowing the topics.
2. Scheduled time in a meeting room. I know lots of people like to do the walking 1-on-1s. I don't. I think it's hard to have face-to-face communication when you're standing next to each other, and it's nigh impossible to take any kind of notes. That said, if my direct said: "can we just go for a walk?", I released the meeting room and we went for a walk.
3. Blocked my calendar for 15-30 minutes on either side of the meetings. This ensured I had time to move from one meeting to the next and allowed for a bit of spillover time if necessary (say the previous meeting room occupants were slow in vacating, a common occurrence).
I second the Manager Tools podcast, it has been great for getting started with engineering management. Here's what's distilled down from a lot of their intro casts:
1. Have a 1x1 once a week with each direct for 30 min
2. If you can have your 1x1 walking (go for coffee, head outside) try and do that; conversation flows easier when it's not in a confined space like a meeting room.
3. Loosely allocate the meeting in 1/2: 15 min for them to talk about whatever they want. 15 min for you to talk about what you need to talk about (usually top->down information), and at least leave a few min at the end for career development or tactics.
4. Throw out rule #3 if they want to talk more than 15 min. Always cut your portion down to accommodate them. The point of the meeting is to build trust. Building trust means listening to your directs and getting to know them and what makes them tick. You'll always learn more by listening than instructing.
And that's basically it, that will get you a long way for now!
My only caveat on (2) is when you have coffee make time to stop and listen to your direct report and stop in a place they feel comfortable and can talk open and freely.
I had a manager once that stomped his way around a mall. Spent the whole time keeping up with him (taller) while avoiding colleagues also getting coffee. Didn't feel I could focus on what I wanted to say while walking and felt rushed. Wasn't even convinced he was focused on our activity either. Not very good and not very productive for me (manager was fine, he'd got his coffee).
Direct report here. A bunch of these say both “keep it informal” and “no set agenda”. But, there is also a lot of proposed structures, suggestions for note taking, consensus on the generic format. Many suggest discussing career growth for example. If I discuss career growth for 5 - 15 mins every week with my manager, regardless whether they are well intentioned, it ends up being counterproductive. I can’t grow my career every week. I don’t want those discussions driving my annual review, because if that is how it works the stakes are just too high on a weekly basis. Also, shocker, sometimes I don’t want to discuss my actual career goals because it’s already been signaled that they are not in line with my current role or the needs of the company. I appreciate that a manager wants to “get to know me” and “build trust”, but let’s be honest, at the end of the day the manager is an agent of the company and might have to lay me off. They might know for a short window before they can tell me, which is all you need to know. I get it. Those are the roles. That’s fine. But don’t expect me to come in on a weekly basis sharing my hopes and aspirations to someone that might be nodding their head knowing my role can never go in that direction or that I’ll be out of a job in a day or two.
"sometimes I don’t want to discuss my actual career goals because it’s already been signaled that they are not in line with my current role or the needs of the company. I appreciate that a manager wants to “get to know me” and “build trust”, but let’s be honest, at the end of the day the manager is an agent of the company"
Completely agree with you. There is always an implicit agenda -- maximize the amount of work they can get out of me for as little money as possible. If I were a consultant, would I sit down for a weekly chat with a client in the same sort of 1-on-1 format? No way. The reason we are asked to have these meetings is so that management can gain useful information from us to then use as they see fit. That's it. We should approach these meetings accordingly.
I’m sorry you are in a position that makes you feel that way. At my company (less 20 people) we’re hard not to hire people we don’t want. Ergo we want to retain the people we have hired. So one thing we’ve found effective is talking about hopes and aspirations in a effort to best align staffing requirements for growth with existing staff’s goals.
For example, we have staff that do A, B and C currently. As we grow, we know we want to add in D. So I’d usually rather have existing staff grow into D if they want to and hire someone to fill in the previous roles of the existing staff (since as they add D they can’t still do all of A, B and C if they’re also doing D).
Obviously this only works when your existing staff can grow personally at a similar rate to the company’s needs. But when possible, we try to make that happen.
For reference a short tenure for technical staff at my company is 5 years. I take that personally as a compliment.
I do fortnightly 1/1s with my team members (individually) for half an hour. The time is set but this can be in a room or a walk or over coffee. I had given them a choice of weekly or fortnightly and most chose the latter (those wanted it more frequent still get it). However my policy is that we do not wait till the 1/1 to discuss things that can be discussed sooner (especially things like feedback).
What worked for me (through experimentation and error) is I try hard to get folks to not talk about project status in the 1/1 (we have standups and planning for that). It is after all their time and unless I have direct feedback on behaviours I prefer to make it all about them. Their problems, Their goals, their dreams, their ambitions, interests and so on. After all if they are not most inspired being in my team I want to make sure I can find them work/projects/teams that they would be more aligned with (and knit that around timeframes).
At first the things that would not go well would be running out things to say. Either due to shyness or introversion or general fear of a new manager. The other side was me accepting it and moving on. While deciding when to dive deep and when not to is subtle, often zooming out on their future and then coming back to skillset often kicks off a good discussion (and some fine action items for both of us).
This is almost exactly how I do my 1/1s with my team members. Except the frequency for folks who have been in the team for more than 6 months is 3 weeks and for newer members its 2 weeks. Also, I make it a point to ask them to provide feedback for their peers - positive and constructive. I make notes and I use the 1/1s to also give regular, informal peer feedback to the team members. I ask them what's going well for the team and how we can improve the processes, the productivity etc
As an individual contributor, I despise weekly one-on-ones. It’s yet another meeting that disrupts my day. I rarely get anything out of them and am always grateful when it is canceled or postponed for whatever reason.
As a manager, I give my reports the choice of when to have our one on ones. Most choose times just before or after lunch or our daily standup or another standing meeting precisely because at those times you’ll already be disrupted. Maybe your manager would be amenable to scheduling a different time that’s less disruptive to you?
What a great topic of discussion for your next 1:1 :)
Talk about the frequency of your 1:1 which seem to happen too often, and about all the other disruptions you experience. Your manager will surely find a way to help with these if possible.
I wonder if they aren't valuable for you because you aren't trying to make them valuable? One-on-ones can be a pointless waste of time if the report does not bring questions and topics and concerns to discuss, even if there are plenty of those things available for discussion.
Once a week for 30 mins, and I never, ever reschedule them.
I treat these meetings as untouchable because I want my direct reports to know that I value them. I don't want to reschedule and make them feel like I don't care, so I will never reschedule them.
We don't discuss their weekly work or tasks, we discuss their careers, their career path, how they can get to the next level, any problems they are encountering, etc. I dedicate this time to them and their career and their time at the company.
What could transpire within a week _outside of_ weekly work or tasks that could influence your reports' career trajectory or force them to re-evaluate it? To put this in context, I'm attending such meetings but really see them as a noblesse oblige type of ritual that serves to reinforce our rapport (we don't see each other much otherwise), but otherwise a waste of my time from my standpoint.
As a subordinate, I would think once a month is more than adequate. How often do things change in your career path where you would need that much time to discuss it. Obviously there are times you may need to meet more frequently but shouldn't that be on the subordinate to schedule if they are interested in their future?
My direct report is a fairly novice developer. We are both Americans at a Japanese start-up, so the dynamic is a little different. We tend toward frequent, shorter meetings rather than infrequent, longer meetings as we've found that works better for us in this particular environment.
Every morning I take a couple of minutes to talk to him, make sure he knows where he's going and that he has the tools (technological and social) to get there.
About once a week, we have a wrap-up meeting to cover what we've accomplished, what's blocking us, and where we're going. This usually doesn't take more than 10 minutes and we'll skip it by mutual agreement if we both feel we're up to date and don't have anything in particular to talk about.
About once a month or so we have a 30-60 minute session over tea or coffee to just discuss communication at work, strategies, his morale, and how he feels he's doing in terms of happiness and making progress toward his personal goals.
Sometimes special situations come up through the course of work and we'll have impromptu sessions to talk about them as necessary.
Completely off topic, but I am looking for a job in Japan - I will be moving there tomorrow actually for family reason. Could I have your details (or could you send me an email - my email is in my HN profile.) I am a senior data scientist. Thanks in advance
I do weekly half-hour 1:1’s with all my direct reports. Each one is pre-scheduled for the same time every week. I almost never cancel, although I do reschedule sometimes.
The first half is for whatever they want to talk about (work status, planning, career guidance, personal stuff, anything they want). The second half is for my list: usually tactical work stuff, but I step back and ask about their overall feelings and professional goals about once per month.
It’s a useful tool for coordinating work, and it has the nice side effect of redicing interruptions because most things can wait a few days until our 1:1. But the primary reason I do them so often is to build stronger relationships. I know my people very well, and they know me. Spending so much time together builds a lot of trust, which is extremely valuable.
There's a great description of how to run a 1-on-1 in High Output Management by Andy Grove.
I like to have them every 2 weeks with a new hire, and every month thereafter. Sometimes, if something comes up midweek that feels like it needs to be addressed, I'll schedule one before that.
Structure--
Location: take a walk or go to a non-work but private space
Ask questions about their general feelings:
- How are you doing?
- How are things in the office? With co-workers?
- Are you enjoying your work? What could make it better?
Ask them for feedback:
- Is there anything that's been on your mind? Any issues either with me or other staff?
- Is there something that we could be doing better in their eyes? What would they change?
Do they have a career goal they are progressing towards?
- What position would you like to be in 1-2 years?
- What can I do to help you get there?
- How do you feel your recent projects have helped in that regard?
Only after I exhaust them and their feelings will I bring up feedback I have for them -- again, with exceptions, if the 1-on-1 was called to handle a specific issue, that will be addressed pretty fast.
I am loathe to take advice from Andy Grove, only because I feel that employment rules of engagement have changed drastically when he was a manager.
In the last 5 years, I've seen the minimum time in Silicon Valley to stay at a job drop precipitously from 2 years (the norm that I'm used to going back 20 years) down to 1 year. I see a lot of jumping around, especially at the more junior end of the spectrum, where total comp can jump by 30-50k in the first 3-5 years of experience.
And young people know this, because everyone shares their salaries and total comp openly. This is a big change from my generation. So they're aggressively leaving after the first year, moving a couple of times and earning a lot more than they would have if they simply stayed at their job for 2-4 years.
One thing young people want is to be mentored aggressively, and for them to get their careers on track immediately. I try to cater to this by meeting with them once a week, to show them that I actually do care about their career path, and also selfishly, in hopes that they don't want to leave within a year and I'm left trying to fill another headcount. If I left the 1:1 to once a month, then I would only see them less than half a dozen times before they've decided they're going to leave.
But if they know that I'm working with them to further their experience, that they're not stuck in a rut and if they stay with me, that they can trust me and they won't get screwed doing all the boring grunt work, then I have a hope they will stay 2+ years with me before they leave.
I'm not a manager, I'm a victim of 1:1s. 1 on 1 are a waste of time. Maybe ask your reports if they want them at all. If you have information for them you can always just email them.
This is the sentiment I see a lot and fits my experience as well. At best 1v1 are a good outlet for managers to look busy and feel important, at worst they are a trap.
Anything you say can and will be used against you.
As a direct report who sits near his manager I agree that weekly 1:1 is a waste of time. My manager took a middle road.
He has two hours scheduled per week for a team of 15. He reserves those for 1:1. Anyone is free to put a 1:1 slot on his calendar if you have something to discuss. Otherwise you go about your week.
I've seen, head and read quite a bit about engineering 1-1s.
After doing engineering management for a decade and trying many ideas, I ended up with the following.
Have weekly 1 hour 1-1s if you have 5 direct reports or less.
Have weekly 30 minute 1-1s if you have between 5 and 10 direct reports.
If you have more than 10 direct reports, hopefully there is some plan. With 10 direct reports, many best practices do not apply.
My primary rule for 1-1s is not to waste time. I do not walk for 1-1s, because it is a waste of time. I do not cut 1-1s short when my direct reports have nothing to talk about, because it is a waste of time. I thoroughly prepare for 1-1s.
I have a shared document with every direct report where I write a summary of the 1-1s. My direct reports can add anything they want at any time (e.g. include topics they want to cover in the next 1-1 so that I can prepare ahead of time).
I start with a quick review of the previous 1-1 and close the loop on all outstanding topics from the previous 1-1.
Next, I give my direct reports an opportunity to raise any topics they want to discuss. I listen to what they have to say. I give answers when I have them. When I do not have answers I write down the question and try to find answers before the next 1-1.
Small-talk topics are fine and sometimes necessary. As my relationships with direct reports evolve, so do 1-1s. The more mature the relationship, the more efficient the 1-1. I don't expect to start at peak efficiency, but I'd like to see forward progress with every 1-1. The purpose of my 1-1 is to develop professional relationships with my direct reports (aka alignment), mentor my direct reports, learn and improve myself.
I try to leave enough time for myself to talk about my topics. I expect my direct reports to give me straight answers when they have them. When my direct reports do not have answers, I ask them to follow up with me in writing (my personal preference - I am more effective reading). Usually, for my topics I focus on communication, career development, culture and alignment.
Lastly, I recite the list of topics we covered.
In my first 1-1 with a new direct report I explain my take on 1-1 meeting structure and my expectations.
As an individual contributor, I deeply appreciate having 1:1s with an engineer who has taken on a career-mentoring role. It is useful to get feedback and especially to help me formulate plans for how to grow as an engineer.
When I start out with a new manager, I prefer going for a walk around the neighborhood. Now that I have built trust and gotten a sense for how he thinks about management, I'm shifting to setting an agenda several days in advance so that he can think about what advice to give or questions to ask to help me clarify my thinking and debug my approaches to problems.
I follow the check-in model from Adobe [1]. It isn’t a hard set of requirements, but is more of a set of topics that help guide the conversation. It’s especially helpful as a starting point for people new to management, like myself.
A check-in meeting is made up of three parts: (1) setting expectations, (2) providing feedback, (3) having a development conversation.
Status reports are explicitly not a part of this conversation. Those are easy to talk about, but have little value for your employee, and if you’re already doing daily stand-ups, they have little value for you too.
The first two topics are fairly self-explanatory, yet take time to learn to do well. The expectations must be clear, finite and actionable. Much has been written about the art and science of giving good feedback. I use a model where we talk about the Specific thing that happened, followed by Asking questions to understand their perspective, talking about the Impact of their actions on themselves and the people they have affected, and finally talking about what I expect them to Do now or in the future. (aka SAID)
The development conversation is the time for you to listen. This is where you learn about the professional skills they are working on growing (whether it’s public speaking, a particular career path or, say, a machine learning course, to name a few) and finding ways to help and facilitate those. If done right, you learn a lot about the person, their goals, aspirations, and will be in a better position to make a positive meaningful impact on their life.
The check-in is most effective if it’s guided by the employee. This encourages people to come with topics they care about and gives them the ability to focus more time on a particular aspect of the meeting which may be more important at that time.
We don't do any kind of regular 1-on-1 meetings; I think we did a few years and years ago when it was first cargo culted, but it's just not terribly useful. I work for a small company, and I've been here seven years - my boss/owner and I know each other well, and some kind of scheduled interaction like that is not really necessary. If we want to talk about non-work stuff or work stuff, there's more than enough time shooting the shit in the breakroom waiting for the Keurig to produce an adequate amount of coffee, or when we get pizza once a week in the conference room, or just at the tail end of a end-of-day meeting.
My fiance has worked at a few bigger places that subscribe to this kind of "best-practices" management style, and it's just something that seems so stilted and generally dreaded. She's very happy when her job takes her on the road visiting customers and she gets to avoid them.
A lot of people aren’t comfortable bringing up bigger picture issues - especially those around performance, career, or concerns about the company or team - casually. Having a dedicated time to talk about things like this on a regular basis helps prevent them from falling through the cracks. They’re also an important time for relationship building, especially with the introverts and heads-down types who are less likely to spend time chatting around the water cooler.
I once had a manager that would walk through the office and call people in for 1:1s in such a way that I felt like I was at a doctor’s office. The meeting itself was almost the same - you’d say your bit and then he’d have a list of things he wanted to cover. I called him out on this and though initially a bit shocked, did improve a bit. As s manager, even though you are coming from a position of “authority,” don’t treat your people like cattle.
My manager does 1-1s back to back in 30 min blocks and as each engineer comes back they call the next person to go up. I don't get the cattle feeling but is it unusual or bad practice to do them back to back?
Also what would you think if the manager was late for the set block of 1-1s by 40 mins?
Scheduled every two weeks, but we're both quite busy, so we often let it slide unless one of us has something that we've been wanting to talk about, but we're both available at that time if either of us does. We're both easygoing with rescheduling or canceling.
First chunk is the "how's it going" bit to gauge general mood. Then a bit of feedback (he's been hearing good things about me, or maybe that I've been too quiet lately and need to communicate more, etc.) Then a prompt for me to talk about whatever. Finally, sometimes there might be a bit where I bring up scheduling vacation or he brings up a side task/project that he wants to ask me to work on.
I usually ask about big-picture and long-term stuff - where we're going as a company, how some big initiative that I haven't heard about recently is going, how it's going to affect our plans that we're behind schedule on some things after having had to re-prioritize others to the front, etc.
My former managers never did 1-on-1s, so I'm still not really sure what sorts of things I'm supposed to talk/ask about. I'm learning a bit from this thread. Maybe useful to use one of the meetings to hash that out - what do you want to get from it, what you want them to get from it, and vice-versa.
[+] [-] martininmelb|7 years ago|reply
1. This is your time to talk about whatever is on your mind. If you want to talk about the footy over the weekend, that's fine. If you want to talk about work or issues at home or career progression, that's fine.
2. Sometimes there is not much to talk about - and that's fine too. If they do not have much to say on a particular day and I don't have much to say, it's a short meeting.
3. As said previously, try never to reschedule and never, never forget.
4. It's a really good time as a manager to practice listening. For that reason, I never have an agenda (i.e. things I want to say) at these meetings. Also, I try to contain the impulse to give advice unless they specifically ask for it.
5. I make it quite clear that as far as legally possible, I will maintain confidentiality. The only time that something may be relayed upward is if there is requirement for me to do so (e.g. an employee reporting harassment).
[+] [-] wpietri|7 years ago|reply
One thing I make sure we don't talk about is status reports. A lot of people have been trained to do that in a 1:1 and I think that's a waste of time. As a manager it's my job to know what's going on; if I don't I should adjust systems so that I do. So that everybody does.
But the things I really want to dig in on are deeper issues. It's my job to make sure my people are happy at the company and are growing in their careers. So if they don't bring it up on their own I'll ask questions about emotional state and emotional reactions to situations. E.g., "How did you feel about that?" "Are you feeling sufficiently challenged?" "What have you learned this week?"
I also think it's valuable to have a list of ongoing themes and to keep returning to them. Otherwise it's easy for an issue to drop into the background. E.g., somebody has an issue with a coworker, or is feeling bored, or thinks we have too many meetings, or thinks we don't take tech debt seriously enough. People mentioning that even once is a gift: I can't fix systemic problems if I don't know about them. And even if the system is fine, I don't want my people just putting up with their jobs. I want them happy.
So it is definitely their time. But I'm also the person with more experience both in the industry and specifically doing 1:1 meetings. I'm also the person with more power to fix many problems. So if they have anything they want to talk about, I'll honor that for sure. But if they don't, I think it's my job to ask good questions.
[+] [-] Regardsyjc|7 years ago|reply
I can barely turn off my thoughts when I'm meditating, how can you give your undivided attention without any internal distractions? What do you do when the conversation feels boring or tedious?
[+] [-] larrydag|7 years ago|reply
1. Try to meet with every one of you direct reports consistently.
2. I believe you should have less than 8 direct reports. The number is not important. Its that you have the time to meet with each one on a consistent basis.
3. If you have a large team then you need to delegate managerial duties. Work with HR if you can't do it directly. At least set up team leads.
[+] [-] redshirtrob|7 years ago|reply
1. Created a Google Doc for the direct to enter an agenda ahead of time. They were not required to fill it out. Many did anyway. It helped me prepare to listen, knowing the topics.
2. Scheduled time in a meeting room. I know lots of people like to do the walking 1-on-1s. I don't. I think it's hard to have face-to-face communication when you're standing next to each other, and it's nigh impossible to take any kind of notes. That said, if my direct said: "can we just go for a walk?", I released the meeting room and we went for a walk.
3. Blocked my calendar for 15-30 minutes on either side of the meetings. This ensured I had time to move from one meeting to the next and allowed for a bit of spillover time if necessary (say the previous meeting room occupants were slow in vacating, a common occurrence).
[+] [-] lifeisstillgood|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] tajen|7 years ago|reply
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[+] [-] sas1ni69|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] acconrad|7 years ago|reply
1. Have a 1x1 once a week with each direct for 30 min
2. If you can have your 1x1 walking (go for coffee, head outside) try and do that; conversation flows easier when it's not in a confined space like a meeting room.
3. Loosely allocate the meeting in 1/2: 15 min for them to talk about whatever they want. 15 min for you to talk about what you need to talk about (usually top->down information), and at least leave a few min at the end for career development or tactics.
4. Throw out rule #3 if they want to talk more than 15 min. Always cut your portion down to accommodate them. The point of the meeting is to build trust. Building trust means listening to your directs and getting to know them and what makes them tick. You'll always learn more by listening than instructing.
And that's basically it, that will get you a long way for now!
[+] [-] grahamm|7 years ago|reply
I had a manager once that stomped his way around a mall. Spent the whole time keeping up with him (taller) while avoiding colleagues also getting coffee. Didn't feel I could focus on what I wanted to say while walking and felt rushed. Wasn't even convinced he was focused on our activity either. Not very good and not very productive for me (manager was fine, he'd got his coffee).
[+] [-] FranzFerdiNaN|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] wodenokoto|7 years ago|reply
My last office had 30 people under one manager, and my current have 15.
I don't see how weekly 30 minutes 1-1's are feasible.
[+] [-] devillius|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] patagonia|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sosilkj|7 years ago|reply
Completely agree with you. There is always an implicit agenda -- maximize the amount of work they can get out of me for as little money as possible. If I were a consultant, would I sit down for a weekly chat with a client in the same sort of 1-on-1 format? No way. The reason we are asked to have these meetings is so that management can gain useful information from us to then use as they see fit. That's it. We should approach these meetings accordingly.
[+] [-] matt_the_bass|7 years ago|reply
For example, we have staff that do A, B and C currently. As we grow, we know we want to add in D. So I’d usually rather have existing staff grow into D if they want to and hire someone to fill in the previous roles of the existing staff (since as they add D they can’t still do all of A, B and C if they’re also doing D).
Obviously this only works when your existing staff can grow personally at a similar rate to the company’s needs. But when possible, we try to make that happen.
For reference a short tenure for technical staff at my company is 5 years. I take that personally as a compliment.
[+] [-] flashgordon|7 years ago|reply
What worked for me (through experimentation and error) is I try hard to get folks to not talk about project status in the 1/1 (we have standups and planning for that). It is after all their time and unless I have direct feedback on behaviours I prefer to make it all about them. Their problems, Their goals, their dreams, their ambitions, interests and so on. After all if they are not most inspired being in my team I want to make sure I can find them work/projects/teams that they would be more aligned with (and knit that around timeframes).
At first the things that would not go well would be running out things to say. Either due to shyness or introversion or general fear of a new manager. The other side was me accepting it and moving on. While deciding when to dive deep and when not to is subtle, often zooming out on their future and then coming back to skillset often kicks off a good discussion (and some fine action items for both of us).
[+] [-] ankurvjy|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] tosser0001|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] matwood|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] cimmanom|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] dudul|7 years ago|reply
Talk about the frequency of your 1:1 which seem to happen too often, and about all the other disruptions you experience. Your manager will surely find a way to help with these if possible.
[+] [-] mcrittenden|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Aeolun|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] dangwu|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] docker_up|7 years ago|reply
I treat these meetings as untouchable because I want my direct reports to know that I value them. I don't want to reschedule and make them feel like I don't care, so I will never reschedule them.
We don't discuss their weekly work or tasks, we discuss their careers, their career path, how they can get to the next level, any problems they are encountering, etc. I dedicate this time to them and their career and their time at the company.
[+] [-] myegorov|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] atomical|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ares_precarious|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sdrothrock|7 years ago|reply
Every morning I take a couple of minutes to talk to him, make sure he knows where he's going and that he has the tools (technological and social) to get there.
About once a week, we have a wrap-up meeting to cover what we've accomplished, what's blocking us, and where we're going. This usually doesn't take more than 10 minutes and we'll skip it by mutual agreement if we both feel we're up to date and don't have anything in particular to talk about.
About once a month or so we have a 30-60 minute session over tea or coffee to just discuss communication at work, strategies, his morale, and how he feels he's doing in terms of happiness and making progress toward his personal goals.
Sometimes special situations come up through the course of work and we'll have impromptu sessions to talk about them as necessary.
[+] [-] S4M|7 years ago|reply
Completely off topic, but I am looking for a job in Japan - I will be moving there tomorrow actually for family reason. Could I have your details (or could you send me an email - my email is in my HN profile.) I am a senior data scientist. Thanks in advance
[+] [-] joshyeager|7 years ago|reply
The first half is for whatever they want to talk about (work status, planning, career guidance, personal stuff, anything they want). The second half is for my list: usually tactical work stuff, but I step back and ask about their overall feelings and professional goals about once per month.
It’s a useful tool for coordinating work, and it has the nice side effect of redicing interruptions because most things can wait a few days until our 1:1. But the primary reason I do them so often is to build stronger relationships. I know my people very well, and they know me. Spending so much time together builds a lot of trust, which is extremely valuable.
[+] [-] KerryJones|7 years ago|reply
I like to have them every 2 weeks with a new hire, and every month thereafter. Sometimes, if something comes up midweek that feels like it needs to be addressed, I'll schedule one before that.
Structure--
Location: take a walk or go to a non-work but private space
Ask questions about their general feelings: - How are you doing? - How are things in the office? With co-workers? - Are you enjoying your work? What could make it better?
Ask them for feedback: - Is there anything that's been on your mind? Any issues either with me or other staff? - Is there something that we could be doing better in their eyes? What would they change?
Do they have a career goal they are progressing towards? - What position would you like to be in 1-2 years? - What can I do to help you get there? - How do you feel your recent projects have helped in that regard?
Only after I exhaust them and their feelings will I bring up feedback I have for them -- again, with exceptions, if the 1-on-1 was called to handle a specific issue, that will be addressed pretty fast.
[+] [-] docker_up|7 years ago|reply
In the last 5 years, I've seen the minimum time in Silicon Valley to stay at a job drop precipitously from 2 years (the norm that I'm used to going back 20 years) down to 1 year. I see a lot of jumping around, especially at the more junior end of the spectrum, where total comp can jump by 30-50k in the first 3-5 years of experience.
And young people know this, because everyone shares their salaries and total comp openly. This is a big change from my generation. So they're aggressively leaving after the first year, moving a couple of times and earning a lot more than they would have if they simply stayed at their job for 2-4 years.
One thing young people want is to be mentored aggressively, and for them to get their careers on track immediately. I try to cater to this by meeting with them once a week, to show them that I actually do care about their career path, and also selfishly, in hopes that they don't want to leave within a year and I'm left trying to fill another headcount. If I left the 1:1 to once a month, then I would only see them less than half a dozen times before they've decided they're going to leave.
But if they know that I'm working with them to further their experience, that they're not stuck in a rut and if they stay with me, that they can trust me and they won't get screwed doing all the boring grunt work, then I have a hope they will stay 2+ years with me before they leave.
[+] [-] soneca|7 years ago|reply
- Before the meeting, review your notes from the last one and get into the mindset of listening.
- No formal agenda. Just notes of what both you don't want to forget to talk about during the one-on-one.
- A meeting should take around 30 minutes but allow for an extra 15 minutes if necessary.
- In the first half of the meeting, you should only listen. In the second half explore the mentioned topics and introduce topics of your own.
- Write notes throughout the meeting and conclude it with mutual commitments as next steps.
Shameless plug: Based on it i built note-taking web app as a side-project: https://www.oneonemeeting.com
[+] [-] Paul_S|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] a_imho|7 years ago|reply
Anything you say can and will be used against you.
[+] [-] fma|7 years ago|reply
He has two hours scheduled per week for a team of 15. He reserves those for 1:1. Anyone is free to put a 1:1 slot on his calendar if you have something to discuss. Otherwise you go about your week.
[+] [-] aminotaa|7 years ago|reply
After doing engineering management for a decade and trying many ideas, I ended up with the following.
Have weekly 1 hour 1-1s if you have 5 direct reports or less.
Have weekly 30 minute 1-1s if you have between 5 and 10 direct reports.
If you have more than 10 direct reports, hopefully there is some plan. With 10 direct reports, many best practices do not apply.
My primary rule for 1-1s is not to waste time. I do not walk for 1-1s, because it is a waste of time. I do not cut 1-1s short when my direct reports have nothing to talk about, because it is a waste of time. I thoroughly prepare for 1-1s.
I have a shared document with every direct report where I write a summary of the 1-1s. My direct reports can add anything they want at any time (e.g. include topics they want to cover in the next 1-1 so that I can prepare ahead of time).
I start with a quick review of the previous 1-1 and close the loop on all outstanding topics from the previous 1-1.
Next, I give my direct reports an opportunity to raise any topics they want to discuss. I listen to what they have to say. I give answers when I have them. When I do not have answers I write down the question and try to find answers before the next 1-1.
Small-talk topics are fine and sometimes necessary. As my relationships with direct reports evolve, so do 1-1s. The more mature the relationship, the more efficient the 1-1. I don't expect to start at peak efficiency, but I'd like to see forward progress with every 1-1. The purpose of my 1-1 is to develop professional relationships with my direct reports (aka alignment), mentor my direct reports, learn and improve myself.
I try to leave enough time for myself to talk about my topics. I expect my direct reports to give me straight answers when they have them. When my direct reports do not have answers, I ask them to follow up with me in writing (my personal preference - I am more effective reading). Usually, for my topics I focus on communication, career development, culture and alignment.
Lastly, I recite the list of topics we covered.
In my first 1-1 with a new direct report I explain my take on 1-1 meeting structure and my expectations.
[+] [-] afarrell|7 years ago|reply
When I start out with a new manager, I prefer going for a walk around the neighborhood. Now that I have built trust and gotten a sense for how he thinks about management, I'm shifting to setting an agenda several days in advance so that he can think about what advice to give or questions to ask to help me clarify my thinking and debug my approaches to problems.
[+] [-] georgecalm|7 years ago|reply
A check-in meeting is made up of three parts: (1) setting expectations, (2) providing feedback, (3) having a development conversation.
Status reports are explicitly not a part of this conversation. Those are easy to talk about, but have little value for your employee, and if you’re already doing daily stand-ups, they have little value for you too.
The first two topics are fairly self-explanatory, yet take time to learn to do well. The expectations must be clear, finite and actionable. Much has been written about the art and science of giving good feedback. I use a model where we talk about the Specific thing that happened, followed by Asking questions to understand their perspective, talking about the Impact of their actions on themselves and the people they have affected, and finally talking about what I expect them to Do now or in the future. (aka SAID)
The development conversation is the time for you to listen. This is where you learn about the professional skills they are working on growing (whether it’s public speaking, a particular career path or, say, a machine learning course, to name a few) and finding ways to help and facilitate those. If done right, you learn a lot about the person, their goals, aspirations, and will be in a better position to make a positive meaningful impact on their life.
The check-in is most effective if it’s guided by the employee. This encourages people to come with topics they care about and gives them the ability to focus more time on a particular aspect of the meeting which may be more important at that time.
1. https://www.adobe.com/check-in.html
[+] [-] thrower123|7 years ago|reply
My fiance has worked at a few bigger places that subscribe to this kind of "best-practices" management style, and it's just something that seems so stilted and generally dreaded. She's very happy when her job takes her on the road visiting customers and she gets to avoid them.
[+] [-] cimmanom|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] eismcc|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] audiolion|7 years ago|reply
Also what would you think if the manager was late for the set block of 1-1s by 40 mins?
[+] [-] quizbiz|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Falkon1313|7 years ago|reply
Scheduled every two weeks, but we're both quite busy, so we often let it slide unless one of us has something that we've been wanting to talk about, but we're both available at that time if either of us does. We're both easygoing with rescheduling or canceling.
First chunk is the "how's it going" bit to gauge general mood. Then a bit of feedback (he's been hearing good things about me, or maybe that I've been too quiet lately and need to communicate more, etc.) Then a prompt for me to talk about whatever. Finally, sometimes there might be a bit where I bring up scheduling vacation or he brings up a side task/project that he wants to ask me to work on.
I usually ask about big-picture and long-term stuff - where we're going as a company, how some big initiative that I haven't heard about recently is going, how it's going to affect our plans that we're behind schedule on some things after having had to re-prioritize others to the front, etc.
My former managers never did 1-on-1s, so I'm still not really sure what sorts of things I'm supposed to talk/ask about. I'm learning a bit from this thread. Maybe useful to use one of the meetings to hash that out - what do you want to get from it, what you want them to get from it, and vice-versa.
[+] [-] aynsof|7 years ago|reply
I've never had him as a manager, but I really wish I had.
[+] [-] bigbang|7 years ago|reply
[+] [-] codezero|7 years ago|reply