Ask HN: How to Handle Argumentative Developers?

[frustrateddoer]

You probably all know the drill. An engineer with strong opinions on anything and everything. Product, business, sales, ops, stack, roadmap – they have to have to understand and agree on every little detail before they’re onboard. As a leader, you want them to be onboard, you want them to see, and you want them to be happy – but you don’t want to spend eighty percent of your day arguing with them to get there.

What's the fix? I know to fire them. I know how to not go into arguments and keep the friction slow burning. I have no clue how actually solve it.

[iamNumber4]

This is the time to have a conversation about their role in the organization. They have opinions, sure, are those opinions argumentative by themselves probably not.

Most engineers want to know the why’s. If there in the dark on the big picture it can impact the overall results as they make wrong choices in design and architecture if they don’t know.

The conversation needs to be about their career path, and the aspirations. If they’re a good engineer, maybe they want to be more. Maybe their ideas are sound and they are being ignored which leads to frustration and more friction because they have insights of a problem you don’t see or are blind to.

I would suggest scheduling this first conversation, then daily or weekly 1:1 sync meetings. Keep them in the loop and feeling they are valued members of your team.

After you have reset your rapport with them. Listen to them, reinforce you have their back and part of the team. Delegate some responsibility through stewardship make them the owner of something. Let them succeed or fail.

If they still exhibit the same behavior, and can’t handle what you delegated to them, then it’s time for them to go.

Don’t loose a talent because you labeled them with a “communication issue”. The issue may be you are not listening or effectively communicating the direction or tone.

It also sounds from you post and described issue, is a result from your management style and possibly being a micro-manager. I could be wrong, but that is what I inferred.

[zunzun]

This problem is psychological and you cannot solve it. When I have seen this, it was rooted in a type of societal insecurity where the person feels the need to control - just as your behavior is being controlled. You will do what they want, or they will refuse to work.