Ask HN: Talking in Corporate Meetings

[rainyMammoth]

I work for one of the big engineering companies in the Bay Area (similar to FAANG). I am an engineer but interact with a lot of teams. As such I end up joining a lot of meetings with 10/15 people, sometimes even more.

Those meetings are extremely difficult for me. It seems that everyone is trying to talk to sound interesting, adding very little actual information. Extrovert people like to jump on every single small flow so they can show off that it's an issue. My feelings are that meetings are a way for people to assert themselves more than a way to exchange actual information.

As I'm usually not the one in charge of the meeting I'm always struggling between staying fully silent and talking up and getting into this combative mode. I'm always doubting what I have to say. I'm usually more introvert and shy than most people speaking up which makes it really difficult sometimes. For other introverts, how do you speak up in meetings?

[tmaly]

I attend a lot of meetings, and I rarely get a chance to speak if I don’t talk over someone. It’s tough to deal with these type of meetings but I use a different approach.

I take very detailed notes and highlight action items. Then I meet one on one with some of the people that attend the meeting.

I find many times that they missed action items and other valuable information. These smaller one on one meetings give me a better outcome in terms of impact. Many ideas discuss, end up making their way into the bigger meetings.

[Jugurtha]

You can take notes, then generate Minutes of Meeting, or Minutes and send them to everyone who should be in the loop, augmented with your remarks, annotations, links to useful resources, and most importantly: action items. I shared the format I follow in another thread, in point 1.1 "Taking meeting notes".[0]

You cam'be interrupted in text. It also forces you to br clear and concise.

If people find your insight interesting, you'll be asked for your input more often than you have one.

This is a low stress way of getting the opportunity to speak.

Also, have you talked about this with your manager and did they offer some pointers and a way to make you heard. For example, in a crowded meeting, someone says something. You comment to your manager, they get the room's attention and hand it to you. Or they ask you from time to time if you want to chime in and get you speaking time. After a while, you'll get more comfortable speaking as you would have had the opportunity to do so.

I think it would be useful to talk with your manager.

[0]: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19924100

[w_t_payne]

This sounds like a sign of bad meeting culture. Really, the chairperson of the meeting should control this to make the meeting more effective and ensure everyone who needs a say has it. Maybe suggest via HR that training be made available for effective chairmanship?

[smt88]

That's an organization-wide culture change. Even a CEO can't easily make it happen. I understand the desire to find and fix the root cause, but OP definitely doesn't have that power.

[badpun]

> For other introverts, how do you speak up in meetings?

I have no need to advertise myself (I'm generally satisfied with my position, salary and job security), so I generally speak only when I feel I have something important to add that is being missed in the meeting (which can happen pretty often, as we have lots of near useless people in them).

[TimTheTinker]

> For other introverts, how do you speak up in meetings?

It definitely takes practice and experience to feel comfortable doing this. If there's someone you trust, perhaps you could enlist them privately to give you feedback on your contributions in meetings - that kind of feedback can be really helpful.

On a single team (yours), the advice I'd give is: (a) strive to make yourself really valuable, even indispensable to the team through your technical contributions and increasing knowledge; (b) when you have something relevant/helpful to add to a discussion, speak up!

However, when interacting with multiple teams that you don't work with, I think (b) is probably the best advice. Wait until you have something helpful to say (this may be seldom - that's OK), then say it.

Also, when interacting with other teams there may be a lot of discussion that has nothing to do with you. It can be helpful to learn to tune out irrelevant discussion (although that may take time to build that mental filter), if only to keep your brain from getting overloaded.

[smt88]

Ask insightful questions instead of making statements.

You'll demonstrate that you're intelligent and thoughtful without coming across as arrogant. You'll make the meeting more productive and possibly even reveal that other people are full of hot air.

[Rainymood]

Read chapter 4 (I recall) of Andy Grove's book High Output Management. He literally has a whole chapter devoted to meetings.