Would you please stop the karma-farming spam schemes? You're wasting your time. We ban such accounts and the sites that they try to promote here, and karma doesn't help.
Dang, I feel like I am missing something and cannot make much sense out of your comment even after rereading it multiple times. Is this about the submission itself? Or something else? Would you be kind and expand a bit on it?
I am entirely sure that I have moderate-serious depression since the lock down started. I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. So WFH has been disastrous for me.
I have been eating worse, not working out, stopped pursuing hobbies/side projects and have been incredibly unproductive at work. Thankfully, a year of good results prior to this, has helped build a lot of goodwill I can burn through.
For the first time the current social climate has affected me severely too. My parents city is among the worst affected by Covid, and both my 80 yr old grandparents stay there. My anti-tribal-free-speech-absolutist and pro-equality-altruistic self have put me in a moral crisis as the BLM movement has picked up. Then today morning my favorite blog closed because of an attack by cancel-police. My country is on the cusp of actual war. I also spilled my coffee twice in the last 2 days and that makes me irrationally frustrated.
On the bright side, I have no suicidal thoughts. None of my relationships have been destroyed (yet). I still have my job and I know the cause of my current state is temporary. I've started therapy, which should start helping any moment now. Covid has affected people in worse ways, so I'm quietly trudging along.
Worst 3 month period of my life outside the one time I was depressed + alone . Now I am just depressed.
Years ago, I visited the zoo in Central Park in NYC and watched a polar bear, as it swam around and around in a pool. It swam in a triangle, touching the three same points on the wall of the enclosure as it made each circuit.
Last month I walked around Greenwich Park in London 125 times, each time following exactly the same route. I thought about that polar bear a lot as I walked.
Can really related to this. I've been walking the same set of paths at the same places too. I've also started to recognize the "regulars" there too. A lot of us seem to be doing the same circuit at the same time.
Keep expecting it to get easier but being stuck with a toddler and two older kids with 1.5 jobs between me and my wife has been tough. It's exhausting, there's basically no downtime, and we end up in spirals of shame and guilt at being terrible parents, partners, employees. All of this to a constant backdrop of fear and uncertainty, trying to balance sanity with following the rules and the science, trying to mediate when family and friends have blowups about the science and ethics of lockdown, family members literally crying because someone posted mean Dominic Cummings memes, trying to hide all this from the kids but at the same time being honest and open with them about feelings, trying to ignore everyone's amazing and enriching family activities posted in photo albums on Facebook when our kids are sat in pyjamas on the Nintendo Switch at 2pm, trying not to think too much that if I was on my own and furloughed this might actually be bliss.
Keep finding it weird that 10 years ago I was trapped in San Francisco (after Twitter's Chirp conference) when the Icelandic volcano erupted. I remember the combination of excitement, despair and camaraderie that developed over the 2-3 weeks it affected me. But then it was over and it was a fun anecdote ever after. This, though, I dunno. Hopefully the kids remember we were here and we never stopped trying (even though a couple of times we probably did).
I feel a touch of shame considering the tenor of this thread, but amazing. I just said to my wife I don’t want to go back. And I have a pretty spacious private office.
We had our first child on Halloween and we both had only returned to work for a month before being forced to wfh. We both still are. It’s great watching my son every day grow. My wife’s job leaves her twiddling her thumbs a lot so she gets to spend a lot of time with our son. She does not understand the amount of focus necessary for my job as a SE. but we have never been happier and more sleep deprived.
I could imagine if we were out of work or had older children I’d be singing a different tune.
I feel a little guilty too enjoying quarantine. My partner and I are both homebodies, and so we've enjoyed the extra time we have together.
It's also been doing wonders for my stress since we recently relocated to another country (can't avoid packing and doing stuff to get set up for another country if you're stuck at home.)
I definitely don't miss the traffic from my old commute at all.
I can see how if you're single and unemployed how the quarantine would be terrible for your mental health.
I can say for myself (as someone who has struggled with this) I don't want you to feel shame.
Enjoy it. Everyone, EVERYONE gets good times in life and bad times. You don't need guilt while you're enjoying an up, and a infant is a great thing to enjoy.
Just pay it forward and inject that positive energy back into the world. I would hope everyone got a quarantine they enjoyed and not the other way around. I'd say that's my metric for where I want society to go.
EDIT: No not that everyone would be in a quarantine but that everyone would have ideal working conditions and happiness.
I'm also WFH with an infant. We have 2 very full jobs, but we have a nanny who comes to our house to help out.
It's hard to balance everything, but overall I'm really grateful I get to spend a lot of extra time with my baby during her first year of life. I know I'd be really sad to miss so much time with her if I was dropping her off at daycare every morning, but instead I get to take breaks during the day to spend time with her.
I'm with you. For us it has been pretty much fine. My spouse and I stay at home for the most part, except for the occasional shopping trip. Working from home. Luckily we haven't got on each others nerves much :)
Work: Incredibly smooth, even if I'm confined to a 13 inch laptop as opposed to 2x 26 inch screens (OK, I occasionally hook up my TV for extra help). Peace, quiet, fully able to focus on my tasks.
Physical health: Several years ago I decided to dedicate a portion of my spare time to sports and I got into my best shape ever by end of last year(body fat ~10%, down from 20+). Which initially got me worried given that gyms were closed and whatnot. So I ended up ordering some weights for exercising at home and I started doing it every day just to make sure I stay in that shape. End result is I've gained a lot of muscle without changing my weight. Body fat probably in the lower to mid 7%.
Mental health: Again - a lot of improvements: I'm not fond of real life interactions and I operate significantly better on my own. I do get mildly pissed off when my phone rings, more so than I used to. On the downside, I constantly run out of books which is becoming incredibly annoying.
Finances: Not dealing with eating out for lunch and dinner anymore. Though my bills have gone up now that I'm home all day long as opposed to just coming in the evening, crashing on the bed and leaving first thing when I open my eyes. I.E. my water bill has gone up 5 times, electricity about 3 times.
Summer: I had some plans, one fell through completely (still unsure if that's good or bad) and the other is almost at the same stage but it might be for the better(it's complicated).
I spend 22 hours of my day in the same room, split between ten hours laying in my bed and twelve in my chair.
I had just moved to a new city before everything, started a new job. I don't know anyone, it's impossible to really meet new people.
My roommates all disappeared to larger living spaces in the middle of March. They're paying rent but I'm alone, and even when they were here I have nothing in common with them.
It's hard to find projects to do because I have no space to do them. I stopped watching tv because doing so in a deskchair sucks. I go through spurts of playing large amounts of video games. I spend most of my time either trying and failing to work, trying and succeeding to work, or aimlessly cycling between Hacker News, Reddit, rss feeds, youtube, and discord.
The only thing keeping me sane is taking 1 to 2 hour electric skateboard rides around my area and listening to podcasts but I'm starting to get bored of it.
There are a lot of underlying problems to my current life that I'm not addressing, and existed before all this started. The excuse of covid has only made justifications against self improvement easier. I'm stuck in a loop, I'm depressed, and I'm not sure what to do.
My company doesn't really have a good time line for going back. I'd love to work remote, it'd mean I can move to somewhere with more space. But until I get an OK from my company I'm stuck in the limbo of a place not really meant for remote work with no where to really go to.
Pretty terrible. I have no prospects, my startups all failed, I've lost most of my money (lost about $2m that I saved over 10 years and earned from previous startups which I managed to cash out). I tried to go the VC route, but no investors wanted to talk to me, so I spent my own money instead and now I'm broke.
I need to find a job, but because I'm highly experienced and older (35 y/o), most companies see me as expensive and difficult, thus don't want to hire me. Plus, I'm unlikely to put up with BS. I suck at interviews/coding challenges so I can't get hired at something like Google/FB in spite of having a stellar resume and long list of popular GitHub projects I created myself with thousands of happy users. Experience is a double edged sword: I can get things done much faster than most people, and I've pretty much done it all in computers by now, but I'm also jaded and can see through all the BS.
I'm seriously considering suicide. I'll run out of money soon, I own nothing, have no family, can't afford rent, and am not eligible for any government assistance because of the stupidity of the laws. I've read a lot of philosophy over the years, and I've decided that suicide is really not a bad option.
I'm so tired of being a peasant and working hard while someone else gets rich. I don't want to be someone's little worker bee anymore. I think the good opportunities are gone, and I don't want to contribute to bad companies doing bad things (i.e., most of big tech, and big cos in general).
Hey, Reach out to some consultancies. I really like AIM consulting. I know it's tough right now, but the nice thing about consulting is they bring in experts they want to teach them and kick ass.
Opinionated, well spoken people tend to do really well in consultancies. Find companies that do cool things and be part of them. You can also gain experience while moving around and helping non-tech companies come up to speed. It can be PAINFUL but it can also be SUPER duper fun. When you find someone going the wrong direction, offer advice and they listen to and improve from your suggestions.
Please hang in there. I'm facing some difficult things as well, and can relate with being highly experienced and older.
Suicide is NEVER an option in my mind. Despite what I face, I could never think of doing such to the family I have left, and the people that I know it would have a major effect on, let alone the ones who I may not realize.
I'm trying to stay positive that good opportunities aren't gone, they may have shifted, and I need to shift with them. Looking at things from a perspective of scarcity makes this so much harder. I know that feeling. You are not a peasant.
Please stay positive. I'm struggling, but working hard to do so. I care. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you ever want to talk privately - email is in profile somewhat.
And if you're seriously considering suicide, please reach out to the Suicide Hotline, or other resources.... This really hurts to read, and it feels very similar... although I know we will somehow get through this...
That sounds rough, man. Your post resonates with me because I struggle to work for Big Tech too and I find that smaller customers get stuck on my hourly rate without considering the productivity gains.
Recently heard a quote about depression & anxiety that helped me:
- Depression is when you don't know where you're going.
I feel this, I'm facing homelessness and have no prospects, just high intelligence and aptitude and good leadership skills. I don't really want to kill myself that much but it might be nice to stick it to the sort of people who post about suicide hotlines whenever you're open about it.
Don't kill yourself. Thats a silly thing to do about money. You need to find professional help and bounce those feelings off of a another person, but recognize they are feelings but dangerous ones.
If I were in your boat - delete twitter, facebook, and stop watching the news. Stop spending cash, stop paying bills, save your cash for food and things you enjoy. Take a vacation. Cash is king. When business goes south - they stop paying bills. You gotta go into survival mode. Also apply for government help. If you are smart you can find a way to qualify.
Apply for jobs, I'm older than you and unemployed and many startups are talking with me. It's only a matter of time before you secure a better job.
It seems from what you have said, you are able to make large sums of money - so it will probably happen again since you are bright, you just need to make it through this year.
The good opportunities are not gone. Our country has more problems then ever you just need to find one.
I'm sorry you're suffering and I hope you don't commit suicide. You are not a peasant. Peasants don't have $2m at any point. Maintaining a middle-class lifestyle today, which is an opportunity still available to you, makes you one of the richest people to have ever lived, in terms of both material and opportunity. It sounds like you've hinged all your happiness and self-worth on professional and economic success, which is a losing strategy. Becoming as rich as the people you've worked for is a bad goal. You can learn to live more frugally, move to a cheaper area, work a job that's easy and boring but sustaining, declare bankruptcy if necessary, try to find communities of people you like, etc. You have options. If you've never lived in a rural area you should try it.
I created an account after reading this, and just want to tell you to hang in there.
These times will pass, things will get better, or different, or you'll just gain a different perspective on the same shitty things, or fall in love with some(thing|one) else...
Best of luck my friend!
What is your definition of rich? What do you really want?
It sounds to me like you already made it once. For most people, having $2m is enough to never really worry about money again. You could take double the median US salary from that sum, forever, without lifting a finger.
You did it once and you can do it again.
I can't really get behind the idea that companies don't value people with decent experience. Hell, you are 35, you are barely mid-career. Lots of companies are paying 50-60 year olds more than you would be paid because they have higher productivity than you.
You did it once, you can do it again. Don't give up.
Hey, I'm sorry to hear things are terrible. I'm not sure it helps, but I highly recommend reading up on self-compassion. It helped me realize that I was beating myself up all the time and not accepting that it's okay to have failures.
Everyone has failures. That's normal and totally human. It's important to recognize that it's okay for things not to go the way you wanted. It's a small step, but I think just recognizing that will help free up a load on your shoulders. Start there and try to focus less on what opportunities are "gone".
It sounds like it's going very rough for you. Have you considered/tried going down the consulting road? Given your experience, you sound like a tremendously good fit, and at the big consulting houses your age might actually be a benefit, as it speaks for your experience (so I've heard, so I might be horribly wrong). In any case, hope things turn out well for you.
Hey. I've been lurking HN for years, and just made an account to reply this.
There's a way. Reach out to anybody or me if you need it.
You were able to build a stellar resume.
You did GH projects with thousands of users.
You have experience.
Long time lurker around here, created an account to reply here.
I don't know. It's hard man. I know there are people in worse situations than me but it's hard anyway.
Working from home since March.
I spend all my day alone at home (with my cats). My GF arrives late and leaves early. She has to go to work everyday.
I feel unmotivated. I'm not socializing, I'm getting fat, I'm slacking on my work.
The worse part is that the effort that I and others have been making are worthless because a couple people can and will destroy it.
I'm living in Portugal and "we" thought everything was going back to normal. Of course not. The cases are ramping back up again. Today we have new and harder rules to follow once again.
I know that I won't be back into the office this year.
My summer festivals are cancelled.
I couldn't celebrate my birthday with my friend and family.
It was funny (a sad funny!) to read this post since the summer festival I'm going to miss the most was the one put on by the local Portuguese/Azoran community.
I got laid off unexpectedly, right at the beginning of the coronavirus. Severance package was terrible and I'm pretty much broke. Plus, the FMV of my options cratered, so the equity I worked hard for is already underwater.
Hit the interview trail hard and have received nothing but rejections. Despite getting referrals from current engineers, I don't even make it past the tech recruiter phone screen stage. And of course, no one is willing to offer feedback so I'm left with my worst thoughts of self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
Sitting here with no money, nothing to do, watching all my friends take advantage of the remote work by going to cool places. I'm going insane and all signs point to the continuation of this shitty status quo for the next year at least. I don't know what I'm going to do.
I was let go by my company 2 months ago. I stuck in a small country on the other side of the world. There’s no flights to my country (and there’s unlikely going to be any at least until winter). My temporary visa is expiring in 2 weeks, I don’t have any evidence that they are going to extend it. The day before I was let go I moved to another apartment with a 2 years lease contract. I don’t have any broadband connection here (long story short - because covvid). I can’t find a job. I’ve no idea what’s going to happen with me, my wife and our two cats in a month from now.
On the bright side, I have got a lot of free time. I’m learning lisp, doing excercises from SICP, jogging and cycling long distances. I don’t feel bad about what’s happened, I am re-evaluating my life now and I know that it’s going to work out one way or another.
Thanks for asking and hope you are doing well! I unfortunately got dumped by a girl I was dating, lost my job and a (non-nuclear) family member while living in Manhattan, NYC. I thought I was holding up okay but once my gym shut down and social events shut down (before later transitioning to videoconference) my mental state and diet declined fast. The lack of human contact was mitigated to an extent by virtual social events but i feel exhausted by them after a short while. All but a couple people I know my age (mid 20s) are still in the city. Since my landlord offered no help and my lease is up, I’ll be contributing to my building’s overwhelming vacancies next week when I move back in with my folks out West.
Loneliness can be a serious problem. You really really do need some social contact. To keep things safe, I think the best approach is to have a small group of people who meet with each other but nobody outside the group. It won't hurt to also keep some distance to each other.
Sounds like a lot stuff to deal with at the same time. This would be hard for anyone. Hopefully the move back out West feels like a bit of a fresh start and you get back on your feet quickly! :)
You have my sympathy re: the breakup. Why is it "Since my landlord offered no help and my lease is up" instead of " my rent is due, but I can't afford it". You make it sound like the landlord is at fault.
Okayish. I am a 'nerd' who loves 'staying indoors' and doesn't like to go in crowded areas.
Until I was forced to stay indoors for months.
I used to exercise regulary, gym/yoga/skipping/running before the lockdown.
But during the lockdown, it has all gone to hell. I eat, work and sleep. I used to watch a lot of tv shows but I cancelled all subscriptions.
But, on the other hand, I have begun writing stories. I had abandoned writing them for over a year now. In fact, I published my short story on Kindle last week. I am editing the 4 unpublished novels which I wrote and am trying to finish the 5th one right now. But it is difficult. Getting motivation is difficult.
At times, I feel anxious. And I totally understand the irony. It had never happened that I had 'gone out' in the last five years during a weekend. But now, I want to go out every other day.
Our government has started to ignore corona and they've begun opening up the country. The puppet TV news of the regime doesn't freak out people on Corona, which they did when the govt took corona seriously.
I miss cycling and going to the gym though. Yoga is a good alternative to the gym as it builds all possible muscles.
It’s okay. I live in New York City and am a very social person. Our company is all WFH but I was going into a coworking space each day. I went to tech and social events every night. I did a lot of happy hours. I saw friends every day, pretty much.
March / April I saw no one other than my girlfriend a couple times a week. Time became slow. I became a lot less motivated. I was cooking more than ever and saving more money than ever. I felt depression coming on. I live in a giant building and even leaving the apartment felt like a big production - can I trust the elevator? My doorman? People on the elevators? Why are they out too?!
By late April I realized I was going crazy without human interaction and no changes in my routine. Started organizing sidewalk happy hours with friends, where we distanced and drank and walked around the empty city. I think I’ll really cherish those memories for many years.
I used to travel a lot and missed that stimulation. Me and my girlfriend decided to drive NY - Los Angeles and stay on the west coast for the month of June. Stopped in national parks, saw some beaches, a lot of hiking, got a haircut in Manhattan Beach. Restaurants are open out west. Then ten of us rented a house in Lake Tahoe and had the most amazing time. Currently heading to San Diego to see family.
It’s turning around. My work motivation is back and work is now going better than ever. Working from new locations most days is fun. I feel great again. Interested to see how much NYC has changed when I go back July 1.
These past three months have been amazingly good for me.
1. I was able to get out of the hellhole of my loud noisy open office that was a mix of developers, QA, project managers and customer facing pre-sales and post sales implementation managers.
2. We had a pay cut that caused me to run a Hail Mary and apply for a fully remote job at $BigTech in the cloud consulting division. I now don’t have to worry about an open office for a few years.
3. My relationship with my spouse has gotten even closer. We’ve found a balance between time together and our alone time. Luckily, we have enough space in our house to go to our own corners.
4. My wife was a part time fitness instructor before Covid and had a full time role in the local school system. During Covid, she turned her study into studio and she is now teaching classes online making pretty decent pocket money.
5. Because of Covid, I really didn’t want her back working in public again. Now with my new job we can easily afford for her to stop working and with her side business she will still keep herself busy.
6. Completely separate: we already converted another bedroom to a gym, our workouts didn’t miss a beat.
The hardest thing for us has been the loss of public spaces -- not being able to take my 3yo son the Air and Space Museum (his favorite place), to ride the metro, or even over to Grandma's house for the afternoon is tough.
What I miss the most is being able to sit down at a Korean restaurant with friends and just EAT for two hours.
Overall, though, things are going really well. The transition to working from home was easy (half the team was already remote), I've had more time to exercise, and our company has been advocating good work-life balance throughout this whole ordeal. I have the efforts of my champion wife to thank for keeping a 3yo distracted all day while I'm at work, and that is not lost on me, either -- I'm in a good place now because I am with good people, surrounded by love.
After struggling with it for about twenty years and dealing with a particularly bad episode, exacerbated by 2020 things, I was diagnosed with major clinical depression and started treatment today.
Socially distanced Internet fistbump to anyone else having a rough go of it. Some subset of the problems are within the purview of medical science; consider asking.
I thought I would love working at home but it turns out the office was my primary source for social interactions and now is not a great time to go out and make new friends for obvious reasons.
Before this, going to work was something I was always looked forward to and I really liked my job.
Now I just kind of roll out of bed, slump over to the computer desk in the corner of my bedroom and sit there all day, wondering why I feel so "meh". I realized I'm missing the in-office collaboration more than I thought but I also started looking at the work with a predominantly more negative outlook, thinking thoughts like, "Isn't this all kind of pointless anyway? We just churn code and go around in circles endlessly." I've also started drinking almost nightly to the point of excess. Also, the world is going to hell in a hand-basket and apparently most of my family and friends from my home-town turned out to be a lot more racists than I ever knew.
On the positive side:
- I still have a good paying job that has allowed me to work remote through out all of this and even gives me an extra $200 per month allowance for WFH costs.
- I bought a treadmill and finally started to excercise.
- When I feel a lack of motivation I often turn on some course or tutorial and I actually started learning a lot of new stuff as a result.
- I started saving a lot more money since I don't eat out and cancelled all my vacation plans.
Started a new software engineering job just before stay-at-home orders. Joined the team in March. Nobody is training me. My teammates don’t like meetings so I never see them in video calls. I haven’t been getting any work done. Manager is asking me why I haven’t been getting any work done. I don’t even know where to begin.
The documentation is garbage but that’s not so unusual. What’s unusual is that I have to ask questions in writing or schedule video calls with teammates if I want to learn anything that’s not in the documentation.
I know what onboarding is supposed to look like and this isn’t it. I’ve expressed these problems to my manager but I feel like I’m not being heard. Stress levels are through the roof.
Great. Frankly this has been one of the high points of my life. No commuting has been great. I get to spend a ton more time with my wife and kids. Before the pandemic I rarely went out to eat and rarely went to stores, so really little of my life has changed. I've been spending a lot more time on projects around the house. Before the pandemic I had started working on redoing the three bathrooms in my house. I thought it would take a long time, but I'm getting it done much faster than expected. The pandemic came at an ideal time for me. My work is such that I can do it from home no problem. I'm not sure when or if I'll ever move back to working on campus. I've even received a 15% raise during the pandemic. I don't personally know anyone that has been sick, much less died. Our governor shut things down very quickly so we have had very very few cases in our state. All in all this has been a wonderful experience.
[+] [-] dang|5 years ago|reply
The comments in this thread are fine.
[+] [-] tandr|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] BruceOxenford|5 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] screye|5 years ago|reply
I am entirely sure that I have moderate-serious depression since the lock down started. I rely entirely on external structure and physical separation of spaces to keep myself sane. So WFH has been disastrous for me.
I have been eating worse, not working out, stopped pursuing hobbies/side projects and have been incredibly unproductive at work. Thankfully, a year of good results prior to this, has helped build a lot of goodwill I can burn through.
For the first time the current social climate has affected me severely too. My parents city is among the worst affected by Covid, and both my 80 yr old grandparents stay there. My anti-tribal-free-speech-absolutist and pro-equality-altruistic self have put me in a moral crisis as the BLM movement has picked up. Then today morning my favorite blog closed because of an attack by cancel-police. My country is on the cusp of actual war. I also spilled my coffee twice in the last 2 days and that makes me irrationally frustrated.
On the bright side, I have no suicidal thoughts. None of my relationships have been destroyed (yet). I still have my job and I know the cause of my current state is temporary. I've started therapy, which should start helping any moment now. Covid has affected people in worse ways, so I'm quietly trudging along.
Worst 3 month period of my life outside the one time I was depressed + alone . Now I am just depressed.
[+] [-] iMark|5 years ago|reply
Last month I walked around Greenwich Park in London 125 times, each time following exactly the same route. I thought about that polar bear a lot as I walked.
[+] [-] bredren|5 years ago|reply
The Bronx Zoo had people, in cages, on display in 1906. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_zoo
[+] [-] armSixtyFour|5 years ago|reply
He was the first zoo animal to be given anti-depressants.
There's even a song about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maQTLIWUZtw
[+] [-] markild|5 years ago|reply
To me, this reads very much as something written by Kurt Vonnegut. Not exactly reassuring and not exactly depressing.
[+] [-] yibg|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] thom|5 years ago|reply
Keep finding it weird that 10 years ago I was trapped in San Francisco (after Twitter's Chirp conference) when the Icelandic volcano erupted. I remember the combination of excitement, despair and camaraderie that developed over the 2-3 weeks it affected me. But then it was over and it was a fun anecdote ever after. This, though, I dunno. Hopefully the kids remember we were here and we never stopped trying (even though a couple of times we probably did).
[+] [-] mgr86|5 years ago|reply
We had our first child on Halloween and we both had only returned to work for a month before being forced to wfh. We both still are. It’s great watching my son every day grow. My wife’s job leaves her twiddling her thumbs a lot so she gets to spend a lot of time with our son. She does not understand the amount of focus necessary for my job as a SE. but we have never been happier and more sleep deprived.
I could imagine if we were out of work or had older children I’d be singing a different tune.
[+] [-] BlackjackCF|5 years ago|reply
It's also been doing wonders for my stress since we recently relocated to another country (can't avoid packing and doing stuff to get set up for another country if you're stuck at home.)
I definitely don't miss the traffic from my old commute at all.
I can see how if you're single and unemployed how the quarantine would be terrible for your mental health.
[+] [-] bargl|5 years ago|reply
Enjoy it. Everyone, EVERYONE gets good times in life and bad times. You don't need guilt while you're enjoying an up, and a infant is a great thing to enjoy.
Just pay it forward and inject that positive energy back into the world. I would hope everyone got a quarantine they enjoyed and not the other way around. I'd say that's my metric for where I want society to go.
EDIT: No not that everyone would be in a quarantine but that everyone would have ideal working conditions and happiness.
[+] [-] bonniemuffin|5 years ago|reply
It's hard to balance everything, but overall I'm really grateful I get to spend a lot of extra time with my baby during her first year of life. I know I'd be really sad to miss so much time with her if I was dropping her off at daycare every morning, but instead I get to take breaks during the day to spend time with her.
[+] [-] dmuth|5 years ago|reply
As someone who also has a birthday on Halloween, let me share something that I learned in childhood:
Don't give your kid candy for birthday presents. They'll start hating it past age 10. Trust me.
Best of luck to you and your family.
[+] [-] graton|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] unknown|5 years ago|reply
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[+] [-] axegon_|5 years ago|reply
Work: Incredibly smooth, even if I'm confined to a 13 inch laptop as opposed to 2x 26 inch screens (OK, I occasionally hook up my TV for extra help). Peace, quiet, fully able to focus on my tasks.
Physical health: Several years ago I decided to dedicate a portion of my spare time to sports and I got into my best shape ever by end of last year(body fat ~10%, down from 20+). Which initially got me worried given that gyms were closed and whatnot. So I ended up ordering some weights for exercising at home and I started doing it every day just to make sure I stay in that shape. End result is I've gained a lot of muscle without changing my weight. Body fat probably in the lower to mid 7%.
Mental health: Again - a lot of improvements: I'm not fond of real life interactions and I operate significantly better on my own. I do get mildly pissed off when my phone rings, more so than I used to. On the downside, I constantly run out of books which is becoming incredibly annoying.
Finances: Not dealing with eating out for lunch and dinner anymore. Though my bills have gone up now that I'm home all day long as opposed to just coming in the evening, crashing on the bed and leaving first thing when I open my eyes. I.E. my water bill has gone up 5 times, electricity about 3 times.
Summer: I had some plans, one fell through completely (still unsure if that's good or bad) and the other is almost at the same stage but it might be for the better(it's complicated).
[+] [-] MivLives|5 years ago|reply
I spend 22 hours of my day in the same room, split between ten hours laying in my bed and twelve in my chair.
I had just moved to a new city before everything, started a new job. I don't know anyone, it's impossible to really meet new people.
My roommates all disappeared to larger living spaces in the middle of March. They're paying rent but I'm alone, and even when they were here I have nothing in common with them.
It's hard to find projects to do because I have no space to do them. I stopped watching tv because doing so in a deskchair sucks. I go through spurts of playing large amounts of video games. I spend most of my time either trying and failing to work, trying and succeeding to work, or aimlessly cycling between Hacker News, Reddit, rss feeds, youtube, and discord.
The only thing keeping me sane is taking 1 to 2 hour electric skateboard rides around my area and listening to podcasts but I'm starting to get bored of it.
There are a lot of underlying problems to my current life that I'm not addressing, and existed before all this started. The excuse of covid has only made justifications against self improvement easier. I'm stuck in a loop, I'm depressed, and I'm not sure what to do.
My company doesn't really have a good time line for going back. I'd love to work remote, it'd mean I can move to somewhere with more space. But until I get an OK from my company I'm stuck in the limbo of a place not really meant for remote work with no where to really go to.
[+] [-] gqxhoqvpnb|5 years ago|reply
I need to find a job, but because I'm highly experienced and older (35 y/o), most companies see me as expensive and difficult, thus don't want to hire me. Plus, I'm unlikely to put up with BS. I suck at interviews/coding challenges so I can't get hired at something like Google/FB in spite of having a stellar resume and long list of popular GitHub projects I created myself with thousands of happy users. Experience is a double edged sword: I can get things done much faster than most people, and I've pretty much done it all in computers by now, but I'm also jaded and can see through all the BS.
I'm seriously considering suicide. I'll run out of money soon, I own nothing, have no family, can't afford rent, and am not eligible for any government assistance because of the stupidity of the laws. I've read a lot of philosophy over the years, and I've decided that suicide is really not a bad option.
I'm so tired of being a peasant and working hard while someone else gets rich. I don't want to be someone's little worker bee anymore. I think the good opportunities are gone, and I don't want to contribute to bad companies doing bad things (i.e., most of big tech, and big cos in general).
[+] [-] bargl|5 years ago|reply
Opinionated, well spoken people tend to do really well in consultancies. Find companies that do cool things and be part of them. You can also gain experience while moving around and helping non-tech companies come up to speed. It can be PAINFUL but it can also be SUPER duper fun. When you find someone going the wrong direction, offer advice and they listen to and improve from your suggestions.
[+] [-] gentryb|5 years ago|reply
Suicide is NEVER an option in my mind. Despite what I face, I could never think of doing such to the family I have left, and the people that I know it would have a major effect on, let alone the ones who I may not realize.
I'm trying to stay positive that good opportunities aren't gone, they may have shifted, and I need to shift with them. Looking at things from a perspective of scarcity makes this so much harder. I know that feeling. You are not a peasant.
Please stay positive. I'm struggling, but working hard to do so. I care. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you ever want to talk privately - email is in profile somewhat.
And if you're seriously considering suicide, please reach out to the Suicide Hotline, or other resources.... This really hurts to read, and it feels very similar... although I know we will somehow get through this...
Edits: Spelling
[+] [-] pgt|5 years ago|reply
Recently heard a quote about depression & anxiety that helped me:
- Depression is when you don't know where you're going.
- Anxiety is when you don't know where you are.
[+] [-] mvzxpisbd|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] justinzollars|5 years ago|reply
If I were in your boat - delete twitter, facebook, and stop watching the news. Stop spending cash, stop paying bills, save your cash for food and things you enjoy. Take a vacation. Cash is king. When business goes south - they stop paying bills. You gotta go into survival mode. Also apply for government help. If you are smart you can find a way to qualify.
Apply for jobs, I'm older than you and unemployed and many startups are talking with me. It's only a matter of time before you secure a better job.
It seems from what you have said, you are able to make large sums of money - so it will probably happen again since you are bright, you just need to make it through this year.
The good opportunities are not gone. Our country has more problems then ever you just need to find one.
[+] [-] braft|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] _leo|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] softawre|5 years ago|reply
It sounds to me like you already made it once. For most people, having $2m is enough to never really worry about money again. You could take double the median US salary from that sum, forever, without lifting a finger.
You did it once and you can do it again.
I can't really get behind the idea that companies don't value people with decent experience. Hell, you are 35, you are barely mid-career. Lots of companies are paying 50-60 year olds more than you would be paid because they have higher productivity than you.
You did it once, you can do it again. Don't give up.
[+] [-] allenu|5 years ago|reply
Everyone has failures. That's normal and totally human. It's important to recognize that it's okay for things not to go the way you wanted. It's a small step, but I think just recognizing that will help free up a load on your shoulders. Start there and try to focus less on what opportunities are "gone".
[+] [-] querez|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ezimonbizkit|5 years ago|reply
There's a way. Reach out to anybody or me if you need it. You were able to build a stellar resume. You did GH projects with thousands of users. You have experience.
You got this.
[+] [-] acomjean|5 years ago|reply
please don't.
I'm really bad at advising on what to do to turn things around, make things better, but give it a try.
Sure there are a lot of not great people in the world, but there are some good ones and things can get better.
[+] [-] deepandmeaning|5 years ago|reply
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[+] [-] o_bigodes|5 years ago|reply
Long time lurker around here, created an account to reply here.
I don't know. It's hard man. I know there are people in worse situations than me but it's hard anyway.
Working from home since March.
I spend all my day alone at home (with my cats). My GF arrives late and leaves early. She has to go to work everyday.
I feel unmotivated. I'm not socializing, I'm getting fat, I'm slacking on my work.
The worse part is that the effort that I and others have been making are worthless because a couple people can and will destroy it.
I'm living in Portugal and "we" thought everything was going back to normal. Of course not. The cases are ramping back up again. Today we have new and harder rules to follow once again.
I know that I won't be back into the office this year.
My summer festivals are cancelled.
I couldn't celebrate my birthday with my friend and family.
I miss hugs from my mother.
This shit sucks.
[+] [-] jrumbut|5 years ago|reply
Hopefully it is ready for next year: http://feastoftheblessedsacramentcom.ning.com/
[+] [-] unknown|5 years ago|reply
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[+] [-] reallyinthepits|5 years ago|reply
I got laid off unexpectedly, right at the beginning of the coronavirus. Severance package was terrible and I'm pretty much broke. Plus, the FMV of my options cratered, so the equity I worked hard for is already underwater.
Hit the interview trail hard and have received nothing but rejections. Despite getting referrals from current engineers, I don't even make it past the tech recruiter phone screen stage. And of course, no one is willing to offer feedback so I'm left with my worst thoughts of self-doubt and imposter syndrome.
Sitting here with no money, nothing to do, watching all my friends take advantage of the remote work by going to cool places. I'm going insane and all signs point to the continuation of this shitty status quo for the next year at least. I don't know what I'm going to do.
[+] [-] allarm|5 years ago|reply
On the bright side, I have got a lot of free time. I’m learning lisp, doing excercises from SICP, jogging and cycling long distances. I don’t feel bad about what’s happened, I am re-evaluating my life now and I know that it’s going to work out one way or another.
[+] [-] nyc4today|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mcv|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] exdsq|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] eplanit|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] thewhitetulip|5 years ago|reply
Until I was forced to stay indoors for months.
I used to exercise regulary, gym/yoga/skipping/running before the lockdown.
But during the lockdown, it has all gone to hell. I eat, work and sleep. I used to watch a lot of tv shows but I cancelled all subscriptions.
But, on the other hand, I have begun writing stories. I had abandoned writing them for over a year now. In fact, I published my short story on Kindle last week. I am editing the 4 unpublished novels which I wrote and am trying to finish the 5th one right now. But it is difficult. Getting motivation is difficult.
At times, I feel anxious. And I totally understand the irony. It had never happened that I had 'gone out' in the last five years during a weekend. But now, I want to go out every other day.
Our government has started to ignore corona and they've begun opening up the country. The puppet TV news of the regime doesn't freak out people on Corona, which they did when the govt took corona seriously.
I miss cycling and going to the gym though. Yoga is a good alternative to the gym as it builds all possible muscles.
[+] [-] taylortrusty|5 years ago|reply
March / April I saw no one other than my girlfriend a couple times a week. Time became slow. I became a lot less motivated. I was cooking more than ever and saving more money than ever. I felt depression coming on. I live in a giant building and even leaving the apartment felt like a big production - can I trust the elevator? My doorman? People on the elevators? Why are they out too?!
By late April I realized I was going crazy without human interaction and no changes in my routine. Started organizing sidewalk happy hours with friends, where we distanced and drank and walked around the empty city. I think I’ll really cherish those memories for many years.
I used to travel a lot and missed that stimulation. Me and my girlfriend decided to drive NY - Los Angeles and stay on the west coast for the month of June. Stopped in national parks, saw some beaches, a lot of hiking, got a haircut in Manhattan Beach. Restaurants are open out west. Then ten of us rented a house in Lake Tahoe and had the most amazing time. Currently heading to San Diego to see family.
It’s turning around. My work motivation is back and work is now going better than ever. Working from new locations most days is fun. I feel great again. Interested to see how much NYC has changed when I go back July 1.
[+] [-] scarface74|5 years ago|reply
1. I was able to get out of the hellhole of my loud noisy open office that was a mix of developers, QA, project managers and customer facing pre-sales and post sales implementation managers.
2. We had a pay cut that caused me to run a Hail Mary and apply for a fully remote job at $BigTech in the cloud consulting division. I now don’t have to worry about an open office for a few years.
3. My relationship with my spouse has gotten even closer. We’ve found a balance between time together and our alone time. Luckily, we have enough space in our house to go to our own corners.
4. My wife was a part time fitness instructor before Covid and had a full time role in the local school system. During Covid, she turned her study into studio and she is now teaching classes online making pretty decent pocket money.
5. Because of Covid, I really didn’t want her back working in public again. Now with my new job we can easily afford for her to stop working and with her side business she will still keep herself busy.
6. Completely separate: we already converted another bedroom to a gym, our workouts didn’t miss a beat.
[+] [-] piercebot|5 years ago|reply
What I miss the most is being able to sit down at a Korean restaurant with friends and just EAT for two hours.
Overall, though, things are going really well. The transition to working from home was easy (half the team was already remote), I've had more time to exercise, and our company has been advocating good work-life balance throughout this whole ordeal. I have the efforts of my champion wife to thank for keeping a 3yo distracted all day while I'm at work, and that is not lost on me, either -- I'm in a good place now because I am with good people, surrounded by love.
Wishing you all the best, HN :)
[+] [-] patio11|5 years ago|reply
After struggling with it for about twenty years and dealing with a particularly bad episode, exacerbated by 2020 things, I was diagnosed with major clinical depression and started treatment today.
Socially distanced Internet fistbump to anyone else having a rough go of it. Some subset of the problems are within the purview of medical science; consider asking.
[+] [-] jaeming|5 years ago|reply
Now I just kind of roll out of bed, slump over to the computer desk in the corner of my bedroom and sit there all day, wondering why I feel so "meh". I realized I'm missing the in-office collaboration more than I thought but I also started looking at the work with a predominantly more negative outlook, thinking thoughts like, "Isn't this all kind of pointless anyway? We just churn code and go around in circles endlessly." I've also started drinking almost nightly to the point of excess. Also, the world is going to hell in a hand-basket and apparently most of my family and friends from my home-town turned out to be a lot more racists than I ever knew.
On the positive side:
- I still have a good paying job that has allowed me to work remote through out all of this and even gives me an extra $200 per month allowance for WFH costs.
- I bought a treadmill and finally started to excercise.
- When I feel a lack of motivation I often turn on some course or tutorial and I actually started learning a lot of new stuff as a result.
- I started saving a lot more money since I don't eat out and cancelled all my vacation plans.
[+] [-] klodolph|5 years ago|reply
The documentation is garbage but that’s not so unusual. What’s unusual is that I have to ask questions in writing or schedule video calls with teammates if I want to learn anything that’s not in the documentation.
I know what onboarding is supposed to look like and this isn’t it. I’ve expressed these problems to my manager but I feel like I’m not being heard. Stress levels are through the roof.
[+] [-] irrational|5 years ago|reply