I still have my job, but I was thinking of not renewing my lease in NYC and just going back home to the parents to work remote in the fall/winter and save a TON of money. Kinda lame because I'm 28 but who cares, since a lockdown will stop most of the "fun" stuff anyway. Would rather run and bike every day.
I had to move from NYC to Oklahoma to save SimulaVR (https://github.com/SimulaVR/Simula). This was over a year ago, and I'm still here. Because of this I have saved an enormous amount of money (such that I'm still able to work full time on SimulaVR while I search for VC funding elsewhere). The other co-founder of Simula is also remote (in Germany). Since this was pre-pandemic, it's been very hard to explain to VCs who are still pattern matching on previous waves of startups.
With that said, there has also been an enormous cost to this: living somewhere besides a major city. Yes, it's true that SF/NY have horrific governance, regulatory policies, taxes, and so forth (which cause high rents). The groupthink there is also unbearable. Other than these issues, however, these cities are indisputably better in every way than anywhere else in the country. People work much harder (and on cooler projects) in these cities. There's an extravagance to them that you simply can't find anywhere else, and if you're not careful, living elsewhere can eat at you subconsciously. Reading (or listening) to books of people doing great things is a good way to combat this: your brain can't ever think that things are easy now that you're living in an easy city. You're still competing against the same odds (and in some cases: the same people) who are grinding 100 hours/week back in NYC/SF.
As long as you account for this, moving elsewhere can be a great tool to save an enormous amount of money.
Just wanted to touch on some of what you said, as I took a year to recoup from burnout in a fairly small-sized town...
Saving money, and having "time" are great, but at least for me the people in small towns live very different lives. The pace is slow and it's easy to become complacent. Compounding that is by not following the pace of life there, you're going against the grain and it will cause friction in your life.
Also, if you grew up in small towns, but haven't really been back in a while a lot of them are pretty depressing these days because of things like Amazon... Where I was most, if not all independent retailers/bookstores/etc had gone out of business. In fact, there wasn't a single book store for 90 miles despite roughly 200,000+ people living in the area. Want a tech talk? Probably not unless you're a real estate agent setting up a Wordpress ;P
If anyone is thinking about taking the jump and moving back home, or somewhere cheaper, my one suggestion is put a hard time-limit on it "1 year." It helped keep me sane having a deadline. Glad I took the time away, but even more glad I came the fuck back.
Is it possible that there are places in the United States which are neither the Bay Area, nor NYC, nor Oklahoma? Surely at least some residents of these places, if they exist, might in fact dispute the broad-spectrum superiority of our most culturally legible cities. Some of these hypothetical humans might even work more than 100 hours a week, perhaps even outdoors!
If you have a chance I suggest reading Masters Of Doom. http://www.davidkushner.com/book/masters-of-doom/. If it's one thing it taught me is that geography is not an issue when building masterful apps. The id team moved from Shreveport, LA to Madison, WI to Mesquite, TX. All the while they were gathering talent, ideas from all around the country while grinding away at code.
I'm curious - do you mean groupthink in the governance/policy sphere, or in the groups of technically minded people working on the hard/interesting problems? Or little bit of both?
> Yes, it's true that SF/NY have horrific governance, regulatory policies, taxes, and so forth (which cause high rents)
No, it's true that SF and NY have lots of people willing to spend lots of money in order to live there instead of elsewhere, largely because they expect to be able to make more money there, which causes high rents.
Sometimes I worry living in New Orleans will ruin me for other cities and then I realize all my collaborators (barring one interesting startup I’m not doing anything with just this moment) are other places. It’s painful (and arguably indicative of deep structural problems).
Something that the pandemic and the associated housing churn offers to young and childless city dwellers is the opportunity to move somewhere they can find a sense of community, which for many is something that is lacking in their lives as evidenced by the long HN threads on the very real subject of alienation felt by young workers in physically anonymous environments.
They might find this back in the small town they came from, or it might be just in another neighborhood of the same city that has more of a sense of community. It's not unusual for large impact events like this to cause people to consider switching to different style of life - and matching setting - that involves getting more connected with the people who live around them, or moving to a place more amenable to that.
I've already seen several examples of this happening on a local level, so I figure it's a real sub-trend among the many sudden human movement patterns initiated by the pandemic.
I'm in my 30s now, so moving back in with my parents is a no-go. If my partner and I were in real trouble they'd have no qualms about taking us in, but save for dire circumstances—it would pretty much be a last resort.
That said, we live downtown Toronto and it's been on my mind for some time to try and move out of the city. I love the city, but I grew up in a small rural town. I miss the green space. I miss the autonomy. And while I'm not much of a socialite, I do miss knowing my neighbours.
The churn in my building and the amount I see any familiar faces makes forming any relationships rare.
I'd been looking for a remote work option for a while, but since my current workplace has moved remote for the time being it's been rejuvenating the idea of moving away again.
Sadly, I've virtually been priced out of my home town. You get more bang for your buck than in the city, but the base pricing is about the same.
I've been taking time scouring for a viable option that wouldn't end up costing more necessarily. It's fun to dream, but it would definitely be nice to find some more concrete options.
It definitely seems more talked about around here than it used to be. We know people who've already made the move—even people I never would have expected to leave city life behind. Their whole personalities seemed built around it, and next I hear they've moved several hours away to a rural area—not even just the 'burbs.
In my experience (20ish years of cohousing and cooperative living, and a number of academia related moves) it can take three months to a year to really find a pack when moving to a new place. People generally already have their own packs, and not much time for new people, so it takes some active effort to find a good crew to be a part of.
The big exception is when you're moving as part of a large cohort, as in university or grad school, where everyone is on the same boat, with shared interests and few friends.
Shared housing also helps a lot. If you become best friends with a housemate, you probably get their friends for free.
But all of this is likely much harder under the pandemic...
Interesting. I'm thinking of moving into a city to find the community you speak of. Then again, I've never seen such a thing in America, not in cities, not in small towns, not in suburbs. I doubt it exists.
I'm 29, live in the Bay Area, and recently moved back to my parents place. At first I was embarrassed, but while running around the neighborhood I keep bumping into old high school and college classmates who did the same thing in order to save money. Like you said there's nothing to do anyway since everything fun is closed. I'm also saving about $2500 per month (more or less) and hanging out with my family is nice. Honestly, your parents will be happy to have you back anyway. There's nothing lame about moving back home since a lot of people are doing it and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I don't understand this forced stigma. You do you man. I'm sure your parents are thrilled. And there's nothing like reconnecting with old friends in familiar places.
Yup. Living with parents. Cancelled my lease (saving $3500/mo). My manager agreed to let me stay at home at least for the rest of 2020. Honestly, it's been nice. My mom cooks for me like I'm a teenager again, and I only recently graduated and I went to school pretty close to home so I have close HS friends or college friends nearby to physically distanced socialize. I was planning on moving back here in the future but if a lot of companies start permanent WFH I might accelerate my timeline.
same situation but I'm older. moved out of SF and I'm planning on going back near the end of the year. dating is awful but the quality of the rest of my life has been a significant increase from sitting in a 1 bedroom apartment alone for 3+ months with limited social options
In my home are 6 males over 18, me and my 5 sons. Three of us work FT & it's just enough to keep our head above water.
One son just graduated HS & will enter his final year of trade school this fall. His twin is entering his senior year of HS.
During most of the post-2008 recovery (that news orgs endlessly crowed about, especially after 2012) we ate rice, being unable to afford beans or anything else. Some days we ran our of rice.
From my perspective, most of the recovery was limited largely to shareholders & wealthy metro areas.
I don't fault or credit any PotUS for terrible years or less terrible years. I do, however, hold some lingering resentment for news orgs that stayed resolutely out of touch with all but select sq mi of the US. It's hard to not feel they earned whatever oblivion they may find themselves staring into.
:) It gives me a smile and good feeling to read below comments. Seeing americans living indians life. Living at parents home, good old moms cooking and she's complaining about dad to you while cooking.
as someone not from the US, The american mindset of moving out at 18 seems bizarre to me. (also, moving halfway across a continent aswell).
Most people in my country don't move out of their parents homes until their mid twenties (usually after university/military duty).
Also, it might be my ignorance of american culture. But to me it seems america lacks a certain sense of regional culture that exists in most other places around the world. a sense of belogin to a very localized culture.
Kind of hard to explain, "heimat" is a term which sort of covers it, but is not entirely what i mean.
There's no shame in moving back in with your parents, as long as they and you get along, and as long as you keep making something of yourself. I lived with my parents for seven and a half years after getting my bachelor's degree. The first two and half of those years I did music freelance, after which I landed my current full-time job in IT (but I've kept up the music too). I saved up a bunch and then a few months ago, shortly before turning 31, I bought a house.
I'd like to boast that it was very careful and farsighted financial planning on my part, but it really wasn't. I'm just good enough at appreciating the living moment that I didn't feel the same urge to move out that my peers felt.
You're not alone. A lot of my peers in their 20s have already moved back in with their parents or were already with them to begin with (if their parents lived in the area). Some of the moved cross country shortly after the WFH orders went into place - presumably to save money.
If you get along with your family well enough, where they live makes sense for your job (internet/timezone), and they have the space to house you for then why not do it.
I won't be doing it for multiple reasons but I feel like I'm the minority. Most of my peers get along with their parents. (would be hard for them to break into the SF Bay Area with no parental support) I don't get along with mine - so I'll continue to pay out my ass to rent a substandard living space.
I moved out of NYC after the 2001 Al Qaeda attacks and back to my parents. There wasn't the same level of lockdown, and the 14 days I was stuck in SF when my 9/12 flight was canceled seems quaint now.
I used the change to learn python, improve my html & css skills, cook, and garden, all while consulting for my former employer. My parents were happy to come home to a meal every night and our relationship grew into friendship. My younger brother moved home a year later. Within a year, we had each found our "dream job" 90 minutes from home in opposite directions.
I left home fairly early and none of my school friends were still in town. The internet wasn't nearly as social as it is today. Going to see friends and doing freelance work in Brooklyn were the social highlights of the time.
In my neighborhood now, lots of younger people, many of color, are moving back in with their parents. In some cases, the parents have lost their jobs. The return to the nest is helping my community survive as these people are doing remote work or getting essential jobs and helping make ends meet. I am expecting foreclosures in the coming months, but these families are in a better position to weather it because of the returning income.
edit: In my mid-40s, I would move back in with my parents in a heartbeat. SARS-CoV-2, though, would likely hurt them more than me, so I'm staying clear.
I moved into my parent’s house for a spell several years ago to save money for a down payment. (Married, one kid, brought the au pair with us, lol.) These days, my parents live about 10 minutes away and we sleep over a couple of weekends a month. If we didn’t already live out in the exurbs near them we would have moved in with them during COVID.
Living closely with family is routine outside the US and is only considered “lame” in a handful of developed countries.
This is maybe a bit too personal, but unfortunately I am not allowed to leave my country if I go back because of my mandatory military duty, the one which I do not plan to waste 2 years of my life on.
I miss my family and the city in general, our orchard and the foodporn-quality fruits such as peaches with skin that peels just like butter, sometimes I just question if it is all worth it. And probably is, but it feels definitely unfair to have to choose A or B, not a mix.
That country probably gave you the opportunity you have now. You might not think its worth 2 years, but the country does and everyone else in that country also did.
You should really think about going back and serving a country which gave you opportunities.
I’m 29 and living in downtown Manhattan at the moment. I decided to re-sign for my lease, which would have ended this month, after negotiating some concessions from my landlord.
Everyone’s got different priorities, but I enjoy living here and I’ve budgeted to account for my rent even if my job situation changes drastically.
Lockdown was unpleasant-but-tolerable through the worst of it (end of March -> end of April), and at this point I’ve got a good system for dealing with another one.
Generally though, I’m concerned that other states and municipalities aren’t going to deal with a resurgence as well as the NYC metro area might. My family lives in New Jersey, so I’d be comfortable going out there if I felt that I had to, but I’d absolutely prefer paying to stay in NYC over returning to family living in most of the other US states.
> Generally though, I’m concerned that other states and municipalities aren’t going to deal with a resurgence as well as the NYC metro area might. My family lives in New Jersey, so I’d be comfortable going out there if I felt that I had to, but I’d absolutely prefer paying to stay in NYC over returning to family living in most of the other US states.
You have to keep in mind that COVID wasn't much of a problem in the rest of America to begin with. Daily deaths in NJ have ranged from 34-132 for the month of June. In Florida, which has twice as many people, it's been 7-70. In Texas, which has three times as many people, it's been 6-47. Here in Maryland, which is a bit smaller than NJ, the highest count ever was 74 in early May, back when NJ was seeing 350+ deaths per day.
We'll see how those numbers react to recent case number spikes, but there is nothing about the situation in New York that would encourage me that NYC will handle the resurgence better. The same factors that caused NY and NJ to be hit devastatingly hard off the bat (density, population mobility) will remain liabilities as things reopen.
I will probably be doing that. Because of corona, I lost my job. In my case, I was living as an expat. Now I'm waiting for an offer from another company. If it's not good enough, then I will move back and take a year off to try new things like working remotely.
I don't want to work at a place that I don't really like, especially when I am living alone in abroad and there's a high risk of second wave coming. I guess it's time to take a break and focus on myself and my family.
Also was in NYC. My inlaws have a place in CT with a basement that is larger than my NYC apartment. Moved out a few months ago and won't be renewing. Might move back to the city in 6-12 months covid dependent but for now, I'm thinking we'll sit tight and enjoy the summer and fall in the foothills of the berkshires. no garbage on the street, lush green mountains all around. really hard to want to go back to the city at this point...
We are in the process of moving back to our home town of Eau Claire, WI from Minneapolis. Doubling our apartment space for $500 less. It's only 90 mins away from the city, so when we need an international airport again, it's still close.
Eau Claire is a beautiful city with a ton of outdoors activities, and endless biking/running trails. For a town of it's size, the restaurant scene is also quite diverse. We only did a few years in MPLS, and while I did like a lot of it, I couldn't stand not being able to go anywhere with it being absolutely packed.
Sort of. I moved back to my hometown to an old (and I mean old) family flat that my father owns that is 2 minutes walk from my parents house.
Honestly, I wanted to shoot my self in the face every day. I love my parents, but I left their home and city at 17 and coming back after 20 years just made me realize I rather starve than live in that shitty hellhole I grew up on.
You hate the town itself or just you hate the mental constraint of being around your parents and all the things that trigger your childhood? I don't hate my hometown but I do feel some mental constraint when Im here.
I never left. I lived ~3000 feet from the hospital where I was born for most of my life. I currently live 10 miles from my birth place. I am you could say a very provincial person. I love New Hampshire, even if it does not love me.
As a web dev I've eschewed some opportunities in order to stay here, where I'm in a sort of professional solitary confinement. It is hard to know if its been the right move (professionally, intellectually, etc) because the tradeoffs are not at all linear. So I don't know if I've ever "saved money" but I certainly don't have to make the same tradeoffs. (I wake up with the sun and a rooster, I have lots of space all to myself and my family, there is no crime to speak of, etc. But it's not "fun" like NYC is fun, I am sure).
Such professional solitary confinement makes me very, very grateful for Twitter and Hacker News.
Let's calm down in the comments with assumptions about what people's relationships with their parents look like. E.g., some people's parents get in the way of dating, some don't. Some would be happy to see you again, some wouldn't. Some have room to take you, some don't! Talk about your own experience.
My experience is that my parents live in a national COVID hotspot so... yeah no. Also moving while we're in a pandemic ain't fun--I'm moving in with a SO.
For me, pretty certain I’m staying in San Francisco.
Leaving was my original plan for this year. My late boyfriend had never lived outside the Bay Area, we decided were going to change that. Since his passing in March, that’s not an option for us anymore.
Why stay? My close friends - some of whom I have known and worked with for 15 years - all live here now. My boyfriend was an only son; being near his mother for mutual support has made this process a bit easier for us.
While moving away would be a good way to reset after losing my boyfriend, I feel that would be too much change to handle.
That’s not to say that things are staying the same around here. Two of my three roommates have cohabitated together here as a couple; and are indeed moving back to the Midwest soon - giving up their bedrooms.
That leaves two of us in a (rare for SF) 4 bedroom 3 bath house; which sets us all back about $4200/month.
I am not yet willing to give up my lease and head for the Suburbs at that low of a cost. Though not rent controlled, we’ve not had a rent increase since 2016.
It’s not just a cheap house. It’s got a lot of benefits. I have a backyard. I’m not sure a new landlord would install 7.2kW EV charging in the garage. I don’t share walls with neighbors. Once life gets social again, I’ll resume enjoying a 20 minute walk or 4 minute drive to the Castro, Haight-Ashbury, or Inner Sunset. If we are in this for the long-haul, I’ve got the interior greenbelt to hike.
If I consider staying in the Bay Area, it’s not substantially cheaper to rent (in comparison) outside of the City for single family homes. The quality of life for me suffers if I had to travel into SF - time, tolls, BART/Caltrain delays - it’s not worth the hassle even mostly working from home.
My plan is to wait for the housing bubble to burst again, and ride this out. I’m not moving back to the sauna like humidity and the frigid cold of the Midwest.
Nothing prevents me from asking for a rent decrease though.
Having my own place has really helped with my social life and relationships. It's nice to have a place to invite people over that you can call your own.
[+] [-] georgewsinger|5 years ago|reply
With that said, there has also been an enormous cost to this: living somewhere besides a major city. Yes, it's true that SF/NY have horrific governance, regulatory policies, taxes, and so forth (which cause high rents). The groupthink there is also unbearable. Other than these issues, however, these cities are indisputably better in every way than anywhere else in the country. People work much harder (and on cooler projects) in these cities. There's an extravagance to them that you simply can't find anywhere else, and if you're not careful, living elsewhere can eat at you subconsciously. Reading (or listening) to books of people doing great things is a good way to combat this: your brain can't ever think that things are easy now that you're living in an easy city. You're still competing against the same odds (and in some cases: the same people) who are grinding 100 hours/week back in NYC/SF.
As long as you account for this, moving elsewhere can be a great tool to save an enormous amount of money.
[+] [-] rubyn00bie|5 years ago|reply
Saving money, and having "time" are great, but at least for me the people in small towns live very different lives. The pace is slow and it's easy to become complacent. Compounding that is by not following the pace of life there, you're going against the grain and it will cause friction in your life.
Also, if you grew up in small towns, but haven't really been back in a while a lot of them are pretty depressing these days because of things like Amazon... Where I was most, if not all independent retailers/bookstores/etc had gone out of business. In fact, there wasn't a single book store for 90 miles despite roughly 200,000+ people living in the area. Want a tech talk? Probably not unless you're a real estate agent setting up a Wordpress ;P
If anyone is thinking about taking the jump and moving back home, or somewhere cheaper, my one suggestion is put a hard time-limit on it "1 year." It helped keep me sane having a deadline. Glad I took the time away, but even more glad I came the fuck back.
[+] [-] _dwt|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] larrydag|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] hguant|5 years ago|reply
I'm curious - do you mean groupthink in the governance/policy sphere, or in the groups of technically minded people working on the hard/interesting problems? Or little bit of both?
[+] [-] dragonwriter|5 years ago|reply
No, it's true that SF and NY have lots of people willing to spend lots of money in order to live there instead of elsewhere, largely because they expect to be able to make more money there, which causes high rents.
[+] [-] selimthegrim|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] danans|5 years ago|reply
They might find this back in the small town they came from, or it might be just in another neighborhood of the same city that has more of a sense of community. It's not unusual for large impact events like this to cause people to consider switching to different style of life - and matching setting - that involves getting more connected with the people who live around them, or moving to a place more amenable to that.
I've already seen several examples of this happening on a local level, so I figure it's a real sub-trend among the many sudden human movement patterns initiated by the pandemic.
[+] [-] 52-6F-62|5 years ago|reply
That said, we live downtown Toronto and it's been on my mind for some time to try and move out of the city. I love the city, but I grew up in a small rural town. I miss the green space. I miss the autonomy. And while I'm not much of a socialite, I do miss knowing my neighbours.
The churn in my building and the amount I see any familiar faces makes forming any relationships rare.
I'd been looking for a remote work option for a while, but since my current workplace has moved remote for the time being it's been rejuvenating the idea of moving away again.
Sadly, I've virtually been priced out of my home town. You get more bang for your buck than in the city, but the base pricing is about the same.
I've been taking time scouring for a viable option that wouldn't end up costing more necessarily. It's fun to dream, but it would definitely be nice to find some more concrete options.
It definitely seems more talked about around here than it used to be. We know people who've already made the move—even people I never would have expected to leave city life behind. Their whole personalities seemed built around it, and next I hear they've moved several hours away to a rural area—not even just the 'burbs.
[+] [-] sdenton4|5 years ago|reply
The big exception is when you're moving as part of a large cohort, as in university or grad school, where everyone is on the same boat, with shared interests and few friends.
Shared housing also helps a lot. If you become best friends with a housemate, you probably get their friends for free.
But all of this is likely much harder under the pandemic...
[+] [-] mnm1|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] cutty|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] throw51319|5 years ago|reply
Yeah idk I just don't see the draw to the city now... and instead of half-assing it, maybe just moving home and getting a good bike etc is wortwhile.
Basically zero dating options though, so that's the big downside.
[+] [-] mav3rick|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] a-wu|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] 121789|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] throw51319|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] 309d9095|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] WarOnPrivacy|5 years ago|reply
One son just graduated HS & will enter his final year of trade school this fall. His twin is entering his senior year of HS.
During most of the post-2008 recovery (that news orgs endlessly crowed about, especially after 2012) we ate rice, being unable to afford beans or anything else. Some days we ran our of rice.
From my perspective, most of the recovery was limited largely to shareholders & wealthy metro areas.
I don't fault or credit any PotUS for terrible years or less terrible years. I do, however, hold some lingering resentment for news orgs that stayed resolutely out of touch with all but select sq mi of the US. It's hard to not feel they earned whatever oblivion they may find themselves staring into.
[+] [-] bobbydreamer|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] kazen44|5 years ago|reply
Most people in my country don't move out of their parents homes until their mid twenties (usually after university/military duty).
Also, it might be my ignorance of american culture. But to me it seems america lacks a certain sense of regional culture that exists in most other places around the world. a sense of belogin to a very localized culture.
Kind of hard to explain, "heimat" is a term which sort of covers it, but is not entirely what i mean.
[+] [-] thirteenfingers|5 years ago|reply
I'd like to boast that it was very careful and farsighted financial planning on my part, but it really wasn't. I'm just good enough at appreciating the living moment that I didn't feel the same urge to move out that my peers felt.
[+] [-] throw51319|5 years ago|reply
I feel like it is almost more of a growth-phase than if I stayed in the city.
In the city there are so many stimuli to distract you perpetually... food, raves, dates, "networking" etc.
Now at home I can channel past experiences in solitude and learn, create, etc.
Of course the downside is there's no dating at all. So essentially will go celibate this fall/winter.
[+] [-] bradlys|5 years ago|reply
If you get along with your family well enough, where they live makes sense for your job (internet/timezone), and they have the space to house you for then why not do it.
I won't be doing it for multiple reasons but I feel like I'm the minority. Most of my peers get along with their parents. (would be hard for them to break into the SF Bay Area with no parental support) I don't get along with mine - so I'll continue to pay out my ass to rent a substandard living space.
[+] [-] kenbolton|5 years ago|reply
I used the change to learn python, improve my html & css skills, cook, and garden, all while consulting for my former employer. My parents were happy to come home to a meal every night and our relationship grew into friendship. My younger brother moved home a year later. Within a year, we had each found our "dream job" 90 minutes from home in opposite directions.
I left home fairly early and none of my school friends were still in town. The internet wasn't nearly as social as it is today. Going to see friends and doing freelance work in Brooklyn were the social highlights of the time.
In my neighborhood now, lots of younger people, many of color, are moving back in with their parents. In some cases, the parents have lost their jobs. The return to the nest is helping my community survive as these people are doing remote work or getting essential jobs and helping make ends meet. I am expecting foreclosures in the coming months, but these families are in a better position to weather it because of the returning income.
edit: In my mid-40s, I would move back in with my parents in a heartbeat. SARS-CoV-2, though, would likely hurt them more than me, so I'm staying clear.
[+] [-] rayiner|5 years ago|reply
Living closely with family is routine outside the US and is only considered “lame” in a handful of developed countries.
[+] [-] 0x8BADF00D|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] kamyarg|5 years ago|reply
I miss my family and the city in general, our orchard and the foodporn-quality fruits such as peaches with skin that peels just like butter, sometimes I just question if it is all worth it. And probably is, but it feels definitely unfair to have to choose A or B, not a mix.
[+] [-] frosted-flakes|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] spoiledtechie|5 years ago|reply
You should really think about going back and serving a country which gave you opportunities.
[+] [-] jkachmar|5 years ago|reply
Everyone’s got different priorities, but I enjoy living here and I’ve budgeted to account for my rent even if my job situation changes drastically.
Lockdown was unpleasant-but-tolerable through the worst of it (end of March -> end of April), and at this point I’ve got a good system for dealing with another one.
Generally though, I’m concerned that other states and municipalities aren’t going to deal with a resurgence as well as the NYC metro area might. My family lives in New Jersey, so I’d be comfortable going out there if I felt that I had to, but I’d absolutely prefer paying to stay in NYC over returning to family living in most of the other US states.
[+] [-] rayiner|5 years ago|reply
You have to keep in mind that COVID wasn't much of a problem in the rest of America to begin with. Daily deaths in NJ have ranged from 34-132 for the month of June. In Florida, which has twice as many people, it's been 7-70. In Texas, which has three times as many people, it's been 6-47. Here in Maryland, which is a bit smaller than NJ, the highest count ever was 74 in early May, back when NJ was seeing 350+ deaths per day.
We'll see how those numbers react to recent case number spikes, but there is nothing about the situation in New York that would encourage me that NYC will handle the resurgence better. The same factors that caused NY and NJ to be hit devastatingly hard off the bat (density, population mobility) will remain liabilities as things reopen.
[+] [-] yalcinbar|5 years ago|reply
I don't want to work at a place that I don't really like, especially when I am living alone in abroad and there's a high risk of second wave coming. I guess it's time to take a break and focus on myself and my family.
[+] [-] danimal88|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] iamjake648|5 years ago|reply
Eau Claire is a beautiful city with a ton of outdoors activities, and endless biking/running trails. For a town of it's size, the restaurant scene is also quite diverse. We only did a few years in MPLS, and while I did like a lot of it, I couldn't stand not being able to go anywhere with it being absolutely packed.
[+] [-] odshoifsdhfs|5 years ago|reply
Honestly, I wanted to shoot my self in the face every day. I love my parents, but I left their home and city at 17 and coming back after 20 years just made me realize I rather starve than live in that shitty hellhole I grew up on.
Sorry, not related, but fuck, I hate that town!
[+] [-] throw51319|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] throwaway713|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] s_y_n_t_a_x|5 years ago|reply
The difference is I bought a house nearby. It's actually been really nice, but I've always loved small towns and hated the city.
[+] [-] simonsarris|5 years ago|reply
As a web dev I've eschewed some opportunities in order to stay here, where I'm in a sort of professional solitary confinement. It is hard to know if its been the right move (professionally, intellectually, etc) because the tradeoffs are not at all linear. So I don't know if I've ever "saved money" but I certainly don't have to make the same tradeoffs. (I wake up with the sun and a rooster, I have lots of space all to myself and my family, there is no crime to speak of, etc. But it's not "fun" like NYC is fun, I am sure).
Such professional solitary confinement makes me very, very grateful for Twitter and Hacker News.
[+] [-] throw51319|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] kixiQu|5 years ago|reply
My experience is that my parents live in a national COVID hotspot so... yeah no. Also moving while we're in a pandemic ain't fun--I'm moving in with a SO.
[+] [-] josuepeq|5 years ago|reply
Leaving was my original plan for this year. My late boyfriend had never lived outside the Bay Area, we decided were going to change that. Since his passing in March, that’s not an option for us anymore.
Why stay? My close friends - some of whom I have known and worked with for 15 years - all live here now. My boyfriend was an only son; being near his mother for mutual support has made this process a bit easier for us.
While moving away would be a good way to reset after losing my boyfriend, I feel that would be too much change to handle.
That’s not to say that things are staying the same around here. Two of my three roommates have cohabitated together here as a couple; and are indeed moving back to the Midwest soon - giving up their bedrooms.
That leaves two of us in a (rare for SF) 4 bedroom 3 bath house; which sets us all back about $4200/month.
I am not yet willing to give up my lease and head for the Suburbs at that low of a cost. Though not rent controlled, we’ve not had a rent increase since 2016.
It’s not just a cheap house. It’s got a lot of benefits. I have a backyard. I’m not sure a new landlord would install 7.2kW EV charging in the garage. I don’t share walls with neighbors. Once life gets social again, I’ll resume enjoying a 20 minute walk or 4 minute drive to the Castro, Haight-Ashbury, or Inner Sunset. If we are in this for the long-haul, I’ve got the interior greenbelt to hike.
If I consider staying in the Bay Area, it’s not substantially cheaper to rent (in comparison) outside of the City for single family homes. The quality of life for me suffers if I had to travel into SF - time, tolls, BART/Caltrain delays - it’s not worth the hassle even mostly working from home.
My plan is to wait for the housing bubble to burst again, and ride this out. I’m not moving back to the sauna like humidity and the frigid cold of the Midwest.
Nothing prevents me from asking for a rent decrease though.
[+] [-] codefined|5 years ago|reply
[+] [-] throw51319|5 years ago|reply