How do you cope with the effects of working remotely?

[mattpardee]

I work as a programmer on a team of about 15 people, most of them based in Amsterdam. I'm the only US-based developer, living in southern CA, which means to be on their schedule I start work at midnight and stop at 9 AM. While there are other members of the team not in Amsterdam, they are only one or two hours ahead of Central European Time.

I have only worked there for 6 months, so being on their schedule is very important. We have daily standups, communicate via Skype throughout the workday, and will be pair programming more often. Ideally I would be working in their office, but since this isn't a possibility for me personally, I try to work in lockstep with the rest of the team. Originally I thought a night schedule would work out brilliantly, since I am a natural night owl. I was wrong. It's one thing to be in the zone, working on a project until 6 AM and then crashing. Trying to consistently fall asleep during the afternoon, stay asleep until midnight, and then work 9 hours, is a very difficult thing to do.

My sleep schedule has become increasingly erratic; every week I experience at least one or two days where I stay up for an exceptionally long period of time - sometimes 28 hours. This is not by choice but because I simply cannot fall asleep during the day. Other days I will take a 3 hour nap and then be wide awake. I at least appreciate the times I can sleep, so I take advantage of them. I've tried numerous times to stay awake longer so I can get back on track. This doesn't work; often, I will sleep for only 3-4 hours after these 28-hour periods and my mind will be racing. Once I'm awake it's nearly impossible to get back to sleep. My job is not stressful, so the mind racing is less of an inherent problem, but something I view as part of my personality. I don't grit my teeth and I'm not an explosive person, I'm very laid-back.

About a month ago I quit smoking and drinking coffee, something I'm proud of and has resulted in a more even-keeled energy level (e.g. no crashing), and my increased exercise - about 5 days a week now - has boosted my energy level. My girlfriend works as a night nurse, and tries to stay quiet when she gets up at 4 PM to get ready for work from 7PM - 7AM. Our dog usually sabotages her efforts by barking at loud children playing in the street and neighbors walking their dogs after work. Sometimes this is the reason I wake up, other times I just have to go to the bathroom and then I can't fall back asleep. Getting the dog better trained is an obvious course of action, something I'm planning on looking into seriously in the coming weeks.

Our bedroom has blackout curtains, I use ear plugs, and recently I've been doing breathing exercises and some meditation to calm my mind. The lack of a consistent sleep schedule makes all of these efforts feel like I'm trying to put out a forest fire with a garden hose. I have taken Tylenol PMs before, which did nothing for me, but I did recently get prescribed Ambien which may help to reset me every once in a while. I don't want to get addicted.

In short: I love the craft of programming and this is a dream job, I wouldn't trade it for any other job in the world. But the effects of working remotely, on a different time schedule, is eating away at my ability to perform at my peak on a daily basis. It's frustrating at best, and at worse results in mental breakdowns.

So I ask, what are your best strategies for being effective at your job while working remotely? How do you cope with a backwards sleep schedule? Do you have any resources I can digest that will inform me on either of these fronts? In addition to attacking this problem on a personal level, I'm very open to learning about general remote-working strategies at the company level. Thank you for any help you can provide!

[mechanical_fish]

Obvious advice first:

Get another job. I don't care what a dream this job is. It is ruining your health and making you miserable.

Or: This is your dream job, so move to Amsterdam. Will they not help you get a visa for Amsterdam? Amsterdam is probably awesome. Oh, the beer they have there. Of course, your girlfriend may not want to go to Amsterdam; they may have a poor market for American nurses. And then there's the dog.

If you can't do Amsterdam at least consider the East Coast. 4am to 1pm is a whole different ballgame than midnight to 9.

Having exhausted the obvious advice, I'm not sure what to tell you. You should read a couple of books on sleep science. They will tell you what you probably already know: Humans are designed to have biological clocks that are reset by light, trying to fight this is hard for just about everyone, even the people who insist it doesn't affect them are almost certainly wrong at some level, you pretty clearly aren't one of those people, and if you are unusually sensitive this schedule will totally mess you up. You're doing the right things, with the caffeine and the exercise, but between your obviously impaired mental state [1], your potential incipient depression, and the social isolation it sounds like a recipe for serious ill health.

So I'm back to square one with the advice: Look for another job. They say there are jobs for programmers on the West Coast. Surely there are one or two. Listen to your dog. Every afternoon he tries to tell you: LISTEN CRAZY HUMAN IT IS CALIFORNIA SUNSHINE OUT THERE WE SHOULD BE AWAKE WHAT ARE YOU THINKING I AM NOT SOME KIND OF BAT-DOG. The dog is smart. Dogs are not crazy enough to torture themselves, gulping the Ambien and going on crazy 28-hour benders and living like a mole, over some job six thousand miles away. Dogs live in the now.

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[1] obvious to you, I mean. You sound quite functional and self-aware to me. Imagine how smart you must sound when you're fully awake!

[mattpardee]

Thanks for your advice, I responded to the commenter below and I think that's the best course of action for me at this time. It allows me to get to sleep during the night, I just have to OK it with the rest of the team. They're very understanding people and have been flexible with me, so this shouldn't be an issue.

In general I agree with your viewpoint. I've been willing to sacrifice myself on some level to appease this schedule, which is the wrong long-term strategy. For the time being I am on the west coast, so some of the other moving considerations I might make are out of the question. Feeling "stuck" put me in a mental quandary, but it shouldn't be that way. I need to open the lines of communication to my team and address this issue head-on; ultimately the team will grow and more displacement will occur. My experience should provide a template by which we can all work together effectively, no matter what the time zone.

Thank you again for your reality check, I very much appreciate it.

[wladh]

I'm also a remote worker, but I work (mostly) on my local business hours. I'm in Brussels and my team is in California and I'm usually working a bit later (until around 7-8pm) to overlap with them and there's the occasional late night meeting, but rarely. This is a compromise on both sides (I'm working later than normal and they try to schedule the meetings early morning) and I think it's the only long term workable solution when you have teams in very different timezones. Otherwise you'll just burn out and get tired of having no social life and probably you'll health will be affected too. Besides, do you really need to talk to them all day long? If you're a developer, can't you just have some "sync-up" meetings every other day or so, during their morning?

[mattpardee]

Your post made me take a step back and realize that most of the day-in, day-out communication on Skype is less pressing than I originally thought. There are times when it's important to be around all day, such as during release sprints, but other than that, as time goes on it seems it will be less important that I'm on schedule with the rest of the team. Certainly the benefits of me working after a solid 8 hours of sleep outweigh any negatives.

The approach I'm planning on taking from here on out is to get to bed around 4 AM. This will allow me to get up at noon, do any day activities I need to do, and then start work in the late afternoon where I can then overlap with the beginning of their day and be a part of the standups.