Hi HN. I'm a student and for the past few months I've found myself sitting at my desk each evening with no motivation to do anything. I want to change this. How have you all gotten out of long tracts of lethargy? What are some strategies or approaches you've found to be effective in dealing with this?
> I've found myself sitting at my desk each evening
Wait, isn't that what daytime is for?
Get out. Play games. Read. Write. Ride a bike. Build something with your hands, with code, whatever. Hit the gym. Cook complicated dishes. Go to restaurants. Join a club and make some friends. Even sleep more.
You need to find what you like to do with your time, and truth is it's probably not what you want it to be. Picking up hobbies and mastering them is what drives a lot of people through life. If that interacts positively with $DAYJOB, that's great but it's rare.
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Having read some of the other replies now, it's slightly disturbing how many of them draw to one of two conclusions: there's something chemically wrong with you, or you've made a massive mistake in life and you need to immediately change every decision you've made up to this point.
Sometimes life lulls. Unless there is something wrong —and yes professional assessment might help here— making massive and/or pharmacological changes to your life might be worse than just riding it out.
I'd personally just shoot for happy first. Treat this as burnout —as anybody working might call it— and take small corrective measures to improve you. If you need an extension to your studies, you can get an extension to your studies. Life isn't going to leave you behind.
Completely agree with this, getting variety into your day is also really important for your brain to properly rest. I can't remember where, but a few years ago I read that the brain rejuvinates not by doing nothing/sleeping/watching tv but by switching contexts and working on something new.
If you've spent all day in university with a heavy day of lectures (sitting, listening, staring at a screen / whiteboard) you're probably not going feel ready to sit down and crack out an essay or project in the evening. You need to spend some time doing something that takes your mind in a different direction, getting active is a great contrast to lectures for instance.
You need to be well rested for motivation to take hold, and if it doesn't you'll at least be rested enough for discipline to get you going.
>> I've found myself sitting at my desk each evening
>
> Wait, isn't that what daytime is for?
This is also a really great thing to pick out. I started doing a lot better at university when I treated it as a 9-5/6 thing. I'd spend the day on campus either in lectures or doing assignments. At 6pm at the very latest it was time to do something different. I broke that sometimes if I had a nasty combination of assignments, but on the whole this gave me most of my evenings and weekends back in my final year while doing my dissertation. It was a huge quality of life improvement, far bigger than anything else I did during university.
I agree with the above advice but it’s not immediately actionable for someone in OPs situation.
You have given a how but it’s hard to do without a why.
Burnout and lethargy are due to both physical and mental health factors that feed into each other.
A two track strategy is needed. First for your physical health
- Increase the amount fresh fruit and veg in your diet. Reduce sugars and carbs.
- Go for a run in the morning get some fresh air.
- Have a nice warm bath before you go to bed have some soothing tea and get good sleep.
This alone will not be enough if you’re seriously burnt out. Next we move to psychological factors
- Introduce noise and variety into the system. This can be as simple as visiting an interesting new place to a full blown crazy experience.
- Start meditating and learn about how to use it to calm your mind.
- Think about the kind of person you want to become and why you want to do it. Your current ideal you and your strategy to go about getting there aren’t working or providing you with satisfaction. Be honest with yourself about where you went wrong, what your strengths are and what you can bring to the world. Once you do this you have a vector pointing all your actions towards a new ideal you informed by your past mistakes.
Your physical health should provide you the foundation to go for it.
Happy to discuss further over email / DM if interested.
This tells the OP what they could be doing instead, but not quite how to get there out of the rut they are in. Apathy or lack of motivation can be difficult to shake. Don't get me wrong-- they are great ideas, it just seems like going from A to C without addressing the issue of a vehicle, B.
Agree with above. Not every moment needs to be "productive", its toxic to believe this. If you worked hard at job/school/project all day, you can relax in the evening. Do the above suggestions, surf the web, or just chill. You're mind needs recovery time too.
I’d start with making the bed in the morning with a mindset of mind over matter. It gives the feeling of being in control.
Also, buy a cheap ticket a couple weeks out and fly to a new city for a weekend, if in the US, Austin, New Orleans, or San Juan PR. Stay at a hostel and interact with people having fun.
You make some excellent points! Anecdotally I find getting out of ruts to be more of a muscle you train, rather than a skill you learn. Picking up on when your mind drifts, and figuring out how to get it going again, will take a lot of practise and experience. Exploring life in between our scholarly/work duties seems to me like best way of figuring this out.
These are excellent points. Today I cooked a new dish and found the process remarkably satisfying.
> Life isn't going to leave you behind
Thank you. I guess it’s easy to fall into the habit of focusing solely on the future. I’m going to take your advice and work on things I can change now to start gaining momentum again.
Lol…yea, same thing happened to a comment I made a few weeks ago. Everyone started talking about all the drugs they take and it’s a chemical thing and that there’s no other hope without them. This is where we are at in this country. Look at all the drug commercials on tv. And then…you know, people against the vaccination drugs but that take tons of others. I’ve given up on people at this point. They are so lost.
Advice to OP. Just do anything besides what you are currently doing and that will change your trajectory. Like try not working at your desk and work somewhere else. Work different hours. Don’t work and do something else. Just don’t do what you’re doing - do one of the infinite amount of things you could do otherwise
>Having read some of the other replies now, it's slightly disturbing how many of them draw to one of two conclusions: there's something chemically wrong with you, or you've made a massive mistake in life and you need to immediately change every decision you've made up to this point.
Yeah I get tired of this response. YOU NEED DRUGS NOW! No, life is often boring and mundane. You will not be happy every second of it, if you were you wouldn't even know what happiness is because it wouldn't stand out. The solution is to force yourself to do something, whether you feel good is irrelevant. Motivation rarely appears on its own, it's a result of action. You do not wait around to feel motivated.
The problem is modern society gives you this option when for centuries waiting to feel some sort of innate internal motivation wasn't an option, you did what you had to for survival whether you felt like it or not.
And I love when I find myself in situations like this - although it happens more and more rarely as I age.
The answer, of course, is: perspective.
And there are all sorts of ways to shift your perspective, but the general heuristic is to step back, zoom out, and talk to yourself in broader, more generic terms. Details are your enemy when you're in a rut (although they turn into your best friend when you're on a roll!)
Take some time, over a number of days, to consciously and consistently quiet your mind. Just give yourself the luxury for a while to not worry or even think about the details of your situation. Try to find some broad positive themes about life in general. Some things that are, roughly, good. Just stay away from the details.
Take it easy. Disengage for a while and take time to breathe, to walk, to do simple things that are, fundamentally, pleasurable.
It won't take more than a few days to get yourself back on track. Juice will start flowing to you again soon enough. Just don't rush into it, simply let it come on its own terms, whenever it wants.
If you're anything like me, or anything like 90% of humanity, you can't rely on motivation to progress in life (whatever your idea of progression is). None of the platitudes or self-help-shaped advice you read here or on Reddit will help you with that. You can't trick yourself.
What works for me is, as much as I don't like the word, discipline. I take an hour every week to review my routine and plans, when I'm inspired and motivated. The rest of the time, when I'm not motivated, I spend executing what I wrote down. In the beginning you will feel miserable, angry, and sad. But after a couple weeks you get used to being your own boss. No matter what you feel (unless you're physically ill), just do what's written down and defer the decision making process (is this what I should be doing) to that planning hour.
I've been using the same technique as you for at least 2 years now, and while I probably do get more done that way, sometimes I feel like it's sapping the life force out of me. Even when what I'm executing is creative, the process makes everything feel robotic. I'm really struggling with that lately.
FWIW, you're already motivated - your post is evidence enough of that. Keep asking yourself why you feel like you want to do something and see where that leads.
Perhaps that exercise reveals some deep set intention. Congratulations, that is yours to nurture and grow. Put a definition of a milestone that will move you towards satisfying that intention. Write it down and say it out loud. Repeat that daily, indefinitely. Identify the difference in state between where you are today and your desired outcome. Break the journey down into discrete action steps, then do a step forward. As you go forward, take inventory of all of the actions you've taken so far and admire your growing wealth of progress. Don't interrogate your intention too often or judge it too harshly, if it came from a good place, it will lead you somewhere good.
Perhaps the exercise revealed nothing at all. There is nothing that you want, nothing pulling you any particular direction. Congratulations, you've arrived! You're free from striving and have achieved the pinnacle of human longing. Enjoy the level of contentment, leisure, and freedom that has been the aim of so many, for so long, and enjoy it well.
“Nothing to do is itself a great doing.”
― Ehsan Sehgal
“I sat in my backyard all afternoon and did nothing. Whenever I do nothing I feel I've accomplished a lot.”
― Marty Rubin
Perhaps you have nothing you want, but nothing doesn't satisfy you. Go help somebody who needs it. There is plenty to do, and helping people does quite a lot of good for you. Even if you got nothing out of it, at least someone did.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Hibernation and seasonality is perfectly mammalian. Spring is coming.
I struggle with this too. The best boost to my mood is when I go for a walk with my wife. Try to get some exercise and sun (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YV_iKnzDRg). Watch your sleep hygiene. Talk to your doctor. When I was younger I rarely even considered going to a doctor. Perhaps you should get some lab work done to make sure you're not vitamin deficient.
I got so depressed that my wife had to make appointments for me and tell my doctor how down I was because I was too embarrassed to admit it.
On a lighter note. You might try pomodoro techniques. Sometimes I do a couple of sessions to get started working until I'm "in to it" enough that I don't need that motivation hack. Also I abstain from social media and all entertainment other than music when I'm at my workstation. Same for when I'm in bed.
This has helped me immensely. Nothing crazy, do 5 rounds of squats at your pace, 1 minute a part. Or sit-ups, push-ups, hollow-mans, etc. it wakes me up, and makes me want to work. I’m tired after, but that’s getting better as I get more into shape. Best of luck to all!
Withdraw from the class or negotiate an incomplete. Try again next semester. You can’t force it sometimes. Pick one or two classes in the semester that you think you can grind it out in (and even here just aim for a C+). If you can’t do this for any of them, just withdraw from everything.
Then stare at the wall. I’m serious. Wake up every day and stare at the wall until you are so bored you want to open a textbook. Then register for only 1 class next semester and slowly ramp back up to 5 classes over the next two semesters. If you find you are able to stare at a wall and still feel nothing (you feel comfortable with the consequences of doing nothing, even failing), then you are in some crazy dangerous territory. I’ve seen this happen to myself and people close to me. It’s not as simple as the task/goal being beyond you. It’s some other insanity. I’ve seen really smart people unable to bring themselves to do basic stuff on a regular basis due to some kind of hang up. You need a cold shower, ice thrown at you, something, someone needs to shake you violently basically.
Alternatively, lie to a shrink and get an Adderral script.
‘Sitting at your desk with no motivation to do anything’. Let’s frame this from a couple of different angles.
- You have time/opportunity to do whatever you choose to improve your life, and nothing feels worth trying, the time just runs out repeatedly.
- Given a set of unstated constraints on your self-permitted behavior and potential pursuits, when you consider your options, nothing excites you, no pursuit resonates with emotional anticipation.
If that captures it, what’s helped me in my life is to use an analogy of mathematical optimization:
1. the options you permit yourself are too narrow. Try things that other people seem to enjoy that you are unfamiliar with. ie expand your horizon by expanding the boundary of the domain. Give yourself more options.
2. you’re overconfident that different activities will provide negative/neutral benefit, assuming there is something that you’ll enjoy. This is a type of learned helplessness, similar to gradient ascent/descent in a flat zone. One strategy is to take random jumps into the unknown. ie commit more to what you try, try going all in where you’d otherwise be more cautious.
3. If you’re overstimulated on caffeine or red bull, or partially emotionally anaesthetized (through behavior like intellectualization or emotional immaturity) you may be insensitive to what is truly emotionally rewarding. I think this is like a faulty objective function. Try meditation, or removing stimulants, or read about maladaptive emotional coping mechanisms, or try a psychotherapist.
For me this is usually caused by a major failure. The lethargy is what happens when one part of me knows something is very wrong, but the other part of me wants to continue going on like before anyways.
What I do is find something I actually want to do and do that instead. You don't have to forget about the earlier goal; it becomes a puzzle that you need more clues for by doing different stuff for a while.
In short, follow your heart and it'll all work out in time.
Lots and lots of walking - not only good for your health, but, the meditative cadence of the action gives the mind time & space to re-calibrate and solve problems - for example, perhaps you are studying something you shouldn't be, or are not deeply passionate about, yet you continue to do so out of inertia - walking will help you figure that out. Good luck, bon vent, fair winds.
OK, this is pretty generic and others have said similar things already, but it helped me before:
- Set a "go-to-bed" alarm. When it rings, wrap up whatever you do and go to bed. Then sleep for 9 hours if you feel the need to.
- No screens nor books or any light in the bedroom when in bed.
- Exercising 20-30 minutes at once every day. A slow job or a fast walk is enough (unless your feel motivated to do more, obviously). Don't overdo it. Do it every day.
- A quick nap after lunch: 15mn with a timer, lay down, close your eyes and stay there.
- When stuck, take a quick walk or walk around the room. Move. Stretch. Don't stay down.
Hopefully this can help you process whatever is troubling you, and prevent your brain from idling on social media.
I was literally in a rut a few days ago. Super lethargic. Didn't want to reply to email, didn't want to make plans for the business...
Then I started surfing amazon books because, you know, anything to procrastinate working.
I came across one of Tim grover's book (Michael Jordan' trainer) and I downloaded the sample to read.
It's a little OOT but something he said rang a bell. He talk about humans overthinking especially in tough situation and gave a pep talk on being relentless. My takeway was "don't think, just do". Suppress the negative voice and just work on it. Nothing is easy. If you want something bad enough, don't think. Just do it.
I think it triggers my inner motivation on why I started my business and being hyper aware of the negative self talk.
So I put myself in robot mode and just started doing things.
I'm not sure how this is healthy for my mental health but it worked.
This is the key insight. A rut is entirely emotional. When you don't want to do something but you need to do it there is an emotional conflict.
Robot mode is not emotionless. It's satisfying a different emotion (fear, anxiety,etc) than desire. It might even be considered a form of bravery. In a crisis situation do you panic or do you 'just start doing things' and help without thinking about it? It's a similar response.
Ah, there's a secret, you stop trying. You need to do something difficult, new and unrelated. Cycle to Canada and buy a hot dog. Live off-grid for a week. Take your nephew to Disneyland. Something clearly defined, and a bit nuts. When you return, you'll feel much better.
Fear sometimes helps. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
More positively, basic life management may provide a way forward. Make a list of all the things that are interesting to you. Whenever you are bored or without direction review the list for opportunities. That may mean entries in the list itself or any entry there. Most of the time there is some avenue for exploration and value generation that you already know has potential and also fits the mood and moment.
The idea that there’s something wrong with you for not wanting to do anything is artificial. There’s nothing wrong with being a person. And people have flaws.
I spent a few years playing dota competitively. It eventually led to getting a job working on HoN, a dota clone. But at the time, the trajectory looked a lot like “do nothing but play games for a year.”
You can’t know where your path will take you. Relaxing is the first step toward happiness, which is the real goal.
A synthesis of this mindset plus trying (without unrealistic expectations) to develop good habits as other sibling posts point out is well worth a try. The key phrase I've heard is "committed yet detached". There are some good tools in the box, but no one-size-fits all solution to mental health.
Detach! Do things you enjoy for a while - I find it helps to make sure academia/career/whatever isn't my entire personality (which I fall into quite often) and tend to come back to whatever I left with enthusiasm after a couple weeks. I took up exercising last Autumn and have managed to stick with things for longer without going into my usual ruts and I'm sure they're related, so maybe look at doing some sports/gym too.
Getting out of a bout of apathy or lack of motivation can be difficult. Sometimes it can slowly go away on it's own, but I have found that it helps to make yourself do things that you don't want to do. You want to get out of the rut, so use that little bit of motivation to force yourself into doing things you may not otherwise want to do.
Options are fewer with COVID limiting social interactions, but within your own risk tolerance, force yourself to do something social, even if if you're going to be bored and uninterested. The change of scenery alone can help shake your mind out of its pattern.
Or if you can't bring yourself to that point, take your laptop-- or just your phone if your computer isn't a laptop-- to another location and do there whatever you would have done sitting at your desk. That can be as small a change as another room in your home, or the lobby/commons if you're in a dorm, whatever other location you have available.
The main goal is to gradually introduce changes to your current routine. It's not a silver bullet fix, but it's a small step that can help you get started.
Consider focusing on some fundamentals like: exercising, cold showers, eating reasonably healthy (avoid insulin spikes). Also consider some kind of social or recreation activity that helps make you feel recharged.
I would add to this: (1) make sure you're getting enough/regular sleep, (2) work on your mental state (there are many ways to do this, but meditation is one way: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3XUee3-meA )
Here is the only solution that works for me: ignore the big picture unless your heart is clearly telling you that you are in the wrong place. The big picture is a mosaic of smaller pictures.
1) Focus on one small thing you can do right now that you can complete before you next feel the urge to, just as an example off the top of my head, play WEC Le Mans on an emulated Amstrad CPC again despite it having no productive benefit.
2) If you're not getting _anything_ of your many tasks done, it kind of doesn't matter much if the "one small thing" isn't from your most urgent project; any work is progress out of the rut.
3) at the same time, if there is one thing causing you major anxiety, address it productively, even if that means acknowledging that you are delaying it and someone else is a better fit. Sooner or later if you delay it too long it'll be taken out of your hands anyway.
This is only what I noticed about myself: the first step to getting out of a rut seems to be... taking any first step.
What I mean is: usually when I end up in a rut, it's because I had been getting into one for a while and only finally noticed. At that point, the rut is usually starting to get baked into a daily/weekly habit. To get out of it means refocusing on things that matter to me: fulfilling personal relationships, family, personal health/growth, intellectual curiosity, and career growth, not in any particular order, and usually I have a decent idea of where to start, but the rut keeps me from starting.
So getting out of the rut involves taking that first step. The second step becomes easier, then the third becomes easier, and so on. It takes extra willpower but I find that it works as long as I remind myself it's worth it.
[+] [-] oliwarner|4 years ago|reply
Wait, isn't that what daytime is for?
Get out. Play games. Read. Write. Ride a bike. Build something with your hands, with code, whatever. Hit the gym. Cook complicated dishes. Go to restaurants. Join a club and make some friends. Even sleep more.
You need to find what you like to do with your time, and truth is it's probably not what you want it to be. Picking up hobbies and mastering them is what drives a lot of people through life. If that interacts positively with $DAYJOB, that's great but it's rare.
---
Having read some of the other replies now, it's slightly disturbing how many of them draw to one of two conclusions: there's something chemically wrong with you, or you've made a massive mistake in life and you need to immediately change every decision you've made up to this point.
Sometimes life lulls. Unless there is something wrong —and yes professional assessment might help here— making massive and/or pharmacological changes to your life might be worse than just riding it out.
I'd personally just shoot for happy first. Treat this as burnout —as anybody working might call it— and take small corrective measures to improve you. If you need an extension to your studies, you can get an extension to your studies. Life isn't going to leave you behind.
[+] [-] bluehatbrit|4 years ago|reply
If you've spent all day in university with a heavy day of lectures (sitting, listening, staring at a screen / whiteboard) you're probably not going feel ready to sit down and crack out an essay or project in the evening. You need to spend some time doing something that takes your mind in a different direction, getting active is a great contrast to lectures for instance.
You need to be well rested for motivation to take hold, and if it doesn't you'll at least be rested enough for discipline to get you going.
>> I've found myself sitting at my desk each evening > > Wait, isn't that what daytime is for?
This is also a really great thing to pick out. I started doing a lot better at university when I treated it as a 9-5/6 thing. I'd spend the day on campus either in lectures or doing assignments. At 6pm at the very latest it was time to do something different. I broke that sometimes if I had a nasty combination of assignments, but on the whole this gave me most of my evenings and weekends back in my final year while doing my dissertation. It was a huge quality of life improvement, far bigger than anything else I did during university.
[+] [-] thewarrior|4 years ago|reply
You have given a how but it’s hard to do without a why.
Burnout and lethargy are due to both physical and mental health factors that feed into each other.
A two track strategy is needed. First for your physical health
- Increase the amount fresh fruit and veg in your diet. Reduce sugars and carbs.
- Go for a run in the morning get some fresh air.
- Have a nice warm bath before you go to bed have some soothing tea and get good sleep.
This alone will not be enough if you’re seriously burnt out. Next we move to psychological factors
- Introduce noise and variety into the system. This can be as simple as visiting an interesting new place to a full blown crazy experience.
- Start meditating and learn about how to use it to calm your mind.
- Think about the kind of person you want to become and why you want to do it. Your current ideal you and your strategy to go about getting there aren’t working or providing you with satisfaction. Be honest with yourself about where you went wrong, what your strengths are and what you can bring to the world. Once you do this you have a vector pointing all your actions towards a new ideal you informed by your past mistakes.
Your physical health should provide you the foundation to go for it.
Happy to discuss further over email / DM if interested.
[+] [-] ineedasername|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Eddy_Viscosity2|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] zepolen|4 years ago|reply
Who would want to sit at a desk when the sun is out? I'd rather be outside.
- Night: Wake up, work until the morning, others are asleep, no distractions. Work gets done a lot faster and you have time for:
- Morning: Sync on anything that requires other people.
- Midday: Go out and enjoy life, so you're physically exhausted and ready to:
- Late afternoon: Sleep.
[+] [-] zappo2938|4 years ago|reply
Also, buy a cheap ticket a couple weeks out and fly to a new city for a weekend, if in the US, Austin, New Orleans, or San Juan PR. Stay at a hostel and interact with people having fun.
[+] [-] ellinokon|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] abecedarian|4 years ago|reply
> Life isn't going to leave you behind
Thank you. I guess it’s easy to fall into the habit of focusing solely on the future. I’m going to take your advice and work on things I can change now to start gaining momentum again.
[+] [-] kirso|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] circleit|4 years ago|reply
Advice to OP. Just do anything besides what you are currently doing and that will change your trajectory. Like try not working at your desk and work somewhere else. Work different hours. Don’t work and do something else. Just don’t do what you’re doing - do one of the infinite amount of things you could do otherwise
[+] [-] CountDrewku|4 years ago|reply
Yeah I get tired of this response. YOU NEED DRUGS NOW! No, life is often boring and mundane. You will not be happy every second of it, if you were you wouldn't even know what happiness is because it wouldn't stand out. The solution is to force yourself to do something, whether you feel good is irrelevant. Motivation rarely appears on its own, it's a result of action. You do not wait around to feel motivated.
The problem is modern society gives you this option when for centuries waiting to feel some sort of innate internal motivation wasn't an option, you did what you had to for survival whether you felt like it or not.
[+] [-] jd115|4 years ago|reply
And I love when I find myself in situations like this - although it happens more and more rarely as I age.
The answer, of course, is: perspective.
And there are all sorts of ways to shift your perspective, but the general heuristic is to step back, zoom out, and talk to yourself in broader, more generic terms. Details are your enemy when you're in a rut (although they turn into your best friend when you're on a roll!)
Take some time, over a number of days, to consciously and consistently quiet your mind. Just give yourself the luxury for a while to not worry or even think about the details of your situation. Try to find some broad positive themes about life in general. Some things that are, roughly, good. Just stay away from the details.
Take it easy. Disengage for a while and take time to breathe, to walk, to do simple things that are, fundamentally, pleasurable.
It won't take more than a few days to get yourself back on track. Juice will start flowing to you again soon enough. Just don't rush into it, simply let it come on its own terms, whenever it wants.
You'll be fine.
[+] [-] protontorpedo|4 years ago|reply
What works for me is, as much as I don't like the word, discipline. I take an hour every week to review my routine and plans, when I'm inspired and motivated. The rest of the time, when I'm not motivated, I spend executing what I wrote down. In the beginning you will feel miserable, angry, and sad. But after a couple weeks you get used to being your own boss. No matter what you feel (unless you're physically ill), just do what's written down and defer the decision making process (is this what I should be doing) to that planning hour.
[+] [-] escapedmoose|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] rozularen|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] tacoluv|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mehphp|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] reilly3000|4 years ago|reply
Perhaps that exercise reveals some deep set intention. Congratulations, that is yours to nurture and grow. Put a definition of a milestone that will move you towards satisfying that intention. Write it down and say it out loud. Repeat that daily, indefinitely. Identify the difference in state between where you are today and your desired outcome. Break the journey down into discrete action steps, then do a step forward. As you go forward, take inventory of all of the actions you've taken so far and admire your growing wealth of progress. Don't interrogate your intention too often or judge it too harshly, if it came from a good place, it will lead you somewhere good.
Perhaps the exercise revealed nothing at all. There is nothing that you want, nothing pulling you any particular direction. Congratulations, you've arrived! You're free from striving and have achieved the pinnacle of human longing. Enjoy the level of contentment, leisure, and freedom that has been the aim of so many, for so long, and enjoy it well.
“Nothing to do is itself a great doing.” ― Ehsan Sehgal
“I sat in my backyard all afternoon and did nothing. Whenever I do nothing I feel I've accomplished a lot.” ― Marty Rubin
Perhaps you have nothing you want, but nothing doesn't satisfy you. Go help somebody who needs it. There is plenty to do, and helping people does quite a lot of good for you. Even if you got nothing out of it, at least someone did.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Hibernation and seasonality is perfectly mammalian. Spring is coming.
[+] [-] muixoozie|4 years ago|reply
I got so depressed that my wife had to make appointments for me and tell my doctor how down I was because I was too embarrassed to admit it.
On a lighter note. You might try pomodoro techniques. Sometimes I do a couple of sessions to get started working until I'm "in to it" enough that I don't need that motivation hack. Also I abstain from social media and all entertainment other than music when I'm at my workstation. Same for when I'm in bed.
[+] [-] 2143|4 years ago|reply
AFAIK the brain releases endorphins or something when you exercise, so you actually get a high out of exercising (in addition to getting fitter).
Do it in the morning so that you'll feel good till noon atleast.
Once you're in a good mood positive things will start happening.
Cheers :)
[+] [-] baxuz|4 years ago|reply
I've tried having rigorous trainings in the morning for weeks and the only thing that happens is that I feel tired for the rest of the day.
Only late-night trainings before bed work for me.
[+] [-] caseyw|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Jaruzel|4 years ago|reply
People tell me this all the time, but when I exercise I just feel tired afterwards?
Maybe it only happens to people who are fit who have a history of exercising regularly?
[+] [-] crate_barre|4 years ago|reply
Then stare at the wall. I’m serious. Wake up every day and stare at the wall until you are so bored you want to open a textbook. Then register for only 1 class next semester and slowly ramp back up to 5 classes over the next two semesters. If you find you are able to stare at a wall and still feel nothing (you feel comfortable with the consequences of doing nothing, even failing), then you are in some crazy dangerous territory. I’ve seen this happen to myself and people close to me. It’s not as simple as the task/goal being beyond you. It’s some other insanity. I’ve seen really smart people unable to bring themselves to do basic stuff on a regular basis due to some kind of hang up. You need a cold shower, ice thrown at you, something, someone needs to shake you violently basically.
Alternatively, lie to a shrink and get an Adderral script.
[+] [-] riazrizvi|4 years ago|reply
- You have time/opportunity to do whatever you choose to improve your life, and nothing feels worth trying, the time just runs out repeatedly.
- Given a set of unstated constraints on your self-permitted behavior and potential pursuits, when you consider your options, nothing excites you, no pursuit resonates with emotional anticipation.
If that captures it, what’s helped me in my life is to use an analogy of mathematical optimization:
1. the options you permit yourself are too narrow. Try things that other people seem to enjoy that you are unfamiliar with. ie expand your horizon by expanding the boundary of the domain. Give yourself more options.
2. you’re overconfident that different activities will provide negative/neutral benefit, assuming there is something that you’ll enjoy. This is a type of learned helplessness, similar to gradient ascent/descent in a flat zone. One strategy is to take random jumps into the unknown. ie commit more to what you try, try going all in where you’d otherwise be more cautious.
3. If you’re overstimulated on caffeine or red bull, or partially emotionally anaesthetized (through behavior like intellectualization or emotional immaturity) you may be insensitive to what is truly emotionally rewarding. I think this is like a faulty objective function. Try meditation, or removing stimulants, or read about maladaptive emotional coping mechanisms, or try a psychotherapist.
[+] [-] srcreigh|4 years ago|reply
What I do is find something I actually want to do and do that instead. You don't have to forget about the earlier goal; it becomes a puzzle that you need more clues for by doing different stuff for a while.
In short, follow your heart and it'll all work out in time.
[+] [-] medion|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] sdeframond|4 years ago|reply
- Set a "go-to-bed" alarm. When it rings, wrap up whatever you do and go to bed. Then sleep for 9 hours if you feel the need to.
- No screens nor books or any light in the bedroom when in bed.
- Exercising 20-30 minutes at once every day. A slow job or a fast walk is enough (unless your feel motivated to do more, obviously). Don't overdo it. Do it every day.
- A quick nap after lunch: 15mn with a timer, lay down, close your eyes and stay there.
- When stuck, take a quick walk or walk around the room. Move. Stretch. Don't stay down.
Hopefully this can help you process whatever is troubling you, and prevent your brain from idling on social media.
[+] [-] p0larboy|4 years ago|reply
Then I started surfing amazon books because, you know, anything to procrastinate working.
I came across one of Tim grover's book (Michael Jordan' trainer) and I downloaded the sample to read.
It's a little OOT but something he said rang a bell. He talk about humans overthinking especially in tough situation and gave a pep talk on being relentless. My takeway was "don't think, just do". Suppress the negative voice and just work on it. Nothing is easy. If you want something bad enough, don't think. Just do it.
I think it triggers my inner motivation on why I started my business and being hyper aware of the negative self talk.
So I put myself in robot mode and just started doing things.
I'm not sure how this is healthy for my mental health but it worked.
[+] [-] snarfy|4 years ago|reply
This is the key insight. A rut is entirely emotional. When you don't want to do something but you need to do it there is an emotional conflict.
Robot mode is not emotionless. It's satisfying a different emotion (fear, anxiety,etc) than desire. It might even be considered a form of bravery. In a crisis situation do you panic or do you 'just start doing things' and help without thinking about it? It's a similar response.
[+] [-] jhoelzel|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] RantyDave|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] skulk|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] m0llusk|4 years ago|reply
More positively, basic life management may provide a way forward. Make a list of all the things that are interesting to you. Whenever you are bored or without direction review the list for opportunities. That may mean entries in the list itself or any entry there. Most of the time there is some avenue for exploration and value generation that you already know has potential and also fits the mood and moment.
[+] [-] sillysaurusx|4 years ago|reply
The idea that there’s something wrong with you for not wanting to do anything is artificial. There’s nothing wrong with being a person. And people have flaws.
I spent a few years playing dota competitively. It eventually led to getting a job working on HoN, a dota clone. But at the time, the trajectory looked a lot like “do nothing but play games for a year.”
You can’t know where your path will take you. Relaxing is the first step toward happiness, which is the real goal.
Alternatively, adderall helps too.
[+] [-] joshxyz|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] JetAlone|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] exdsq|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ineedasername|4 years ago|reply
Options are fewer with COVID limiting social interactions, but within your own risk tolerance, force yourself to do something social, even if if you're going to be bored and uninterested. The change of scenery alone can help shake your mind out of its pattern.
Or if you can't bring yourself to that point, take your laptop-- or just your phone if your computer isn't a laptop-- to another location and do there whatever you would have done sitting at your desk. That can be as small a change as another room in your home, or the lobby/commons if you're in a dorm, whatever other location you have available.
The main goal is to gradually introduce changes to your current routine. It's not a silver bullet fix, but it's a small step that can help you get started.
[+] [-] fouc|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ryannevius|4 years ago|reply
[+] [-] unfocussed_mike|4 years ago|reply
Here is the only solution that works for me: ignore the big picture unless your heart is clearly telling you that you are in the wrong place. The big picture is a mosaic of smaller pictures.
1) Focus on one small thing you can do right now that you can complete before you next feel the urge to, just as an example off the top of my head, play WEC Le Mans on an emulated Amstrad CPC again despite it having no productive benefit.
2) If you're not getting _anything_ of your many tasks done, it kind of doesn't matter much if the "one small thing" isn't from your most urgent project; any work is progress out of the rut.
3) at the same time, if there is one thing causing you major anxiety, address it productively, even if that means acknowledging that you are delaying it and someone else is a better fit. Sooner or later if you delay it too long it'll be taken out of your hands anyway.
[+] [-] munchbunny|4 years ago|reply
What I mean is: usually when I end up in a rut, it's because I had been getting into one for a while and only finally noticed. At that point, the rut is usually starting to get baked into a daily/weekly habit. To get out of it means refocusing on things that matter to me: fulfilling personal relationships, family, personal health/growth, intellectual curiosity, and career growth, not in any particular order, and usually I have a decent idea of where to start, but the rut keeps me from starting.
So getting out of the rut involves taking that first step. The second step becomes easier, then the third becomes easier, and so on. It takes extra willpower but I find that it works as long as I remind myself it's worth it.