My mother told me to not care what other people thought. She also told me that words can't really hurt people ("sticks and stones..."). She also believed its "mean" to have any preference about people, calling it a version of "keeping score". In fact, "keeping score" was one of the worst things you could be accused of in my household.
Her advice fails to accept the reality of social and emotional needs. It also fails to address the (sometimes severe) downside of non-conformance. This advice made me an Outsider whether or not I wanted to be. I now believe that these were tools she formed to get her through her own family and social trauma, which she falsely assumed would be generally useful, and did her best to arm her children with her best tools. I also believe there are upsides to the approach, but the trade-offs are real and cannot and shouldn't be swept under the rug. I imagine others had similar experiences with religious parents.
Advice is dangerous. It has built in moral hazard. Advice is too often given in well-meaning ignorance and pride - but ultimately advice gets someone else to test your hypothesis for you. So if you've not gotten any life-changing advice, be glad!
1. An estimate is better than a guess. An measurement is better than an estimate.
2. It's never the money. (They will always say it is, but it's not.)
3. Never let anyone eat your lunch.
4. The best time to turn it on is before it's ready. You'll get plenty of data to finish it faster.
5. The only good Powerpoint slide is evergreen. If it's not, it's already obsolete.
6. Your positive mental attitude makes up for most of your shortcomings.
7. Learning the difference between an issue and a detail is half the battle.
8. Avoid introducing new jargon. It's already hard enough to understand.
9. Isolate. Isolate. Isolate.
10. If it's not written down, it's not.
11. The reason everyone we work for sucks is because those who don't suck never call us.
12. If you set aside something urgent to go to Happy Hour, how will our annual report differ? (Hint: It won't.)
13. What's the good news? (No matter how bad things are, never hesitate to answer.)
14. A degree in business is a degree in nothing.
15. The answer to any question is "Who wants to know?" (See https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1084127)
16. No project ever dies but many are abandoned.
17. Self praise stinks.
18. If someone can do something once, they can do it again.
19. Almost anyone can do almost anything.
And my favorite: 20. Ultimately, go with your gut.
After you've been lying or sitting and you get up and go for a wee, once done press up just behind your balls. Oftentimes that pushes out a big drip that was otherwise going to come out later once you had your pants done up.
The best abstract advice I've been given is to say "I don't know" when I don't know. No waffle, no bullshit, no trying to save face. Saves a lot of time.
I have found that all the best advice I've received centers on how to focus your attention. As humans when we can give something our full attention it's almost impossible that what we are doing won't bear fruit. Here are some axioms around that idea that if you implement you will progress.
- Time is not your most valuable resource. Your attention is.
- Focus your attention only on things that have disproportionate returns.
- Multitasking is a myth. Pick one thing and do it with all your strength.
- Discern between Type 1 & Type 2 decisions. High vs low consequence. If high consequence apply scientific method. Everything else delegate to smart people.
- Prioritize everything systematically. See Eisenhower Matrix or T.R.A.F apply it to everything vying for your attention.
- Keep a distraction list. Write down every idea, review monthly but know 95% of this is going into the trash. You simply don't have enough lifespan to do them all.
- Discard all unnecessary things from your life. Half done projects, old clothes, shoes, ideas, cups, bowls, hackysack, cars. All that crap that's piling up in your basement, garage, closets, cupboards wherever. You don't use it, you don't need it and they rob you of your attention.
Not really an advice, but just a phrase: “Can you show me something you have done?”. My brother was introducing me as a developer for a project he was responsible and the supervisor wanted to meet me first. I was prattling about all the stuff I know about and I was real proud about it. He interrupt me with this. That’s when I realise all the things you know don’t really matter to people if you can’t actually solve their problems and they aren’t confident that you can. I switched my methods after that. And instead of pursuing knowledge for its own sake, I make sure, I actually practice and build thibgs instead of just be satisfied with “I know this”. 2 years later, I started making money on gigs and contracts as a programmer.
Always take sides. By not taking a side you are automatically wrong. This doesn’t mean you should engage in identity politics, etc. but when faced with a choice take the time to make an informed decision.
If you say something “should be a thing” you are automatically now in charge of creating it or convincing someone to create it. Do not tell people who are working on things that they should realize your idea if you are not willing to put down what you are doing and work on it yourself. This advice prevents you from being the annoying ideas person.
Don’t get married. Tax benefits are minor, divorce headache is major. Separate public declaration of love and commitment from your government and financial affairs. You can still have a commitment ceremony and a big party.
Learn how to properly ask for consent. You are likely very bad at this.
The most important thing about a job is not what you work on but who you work with. Pick people, not projects.
Plumbing is easier than you think. Learn to do it yourself.
Related to the above, read Heinlein’s quote on specialization. It is for insects. Learn to do everything.
Stress kills. Get sleep.
Don’t take advice from strangers on the internet :)
I've heard and read this advice numerous times, and it is even very old advice.
"Rulers must never remain neutral. If neighboring rulers fight, you must take sides, because if you do not, the winner will threaten you, and the loser will not befriend you. Whether or not your ally wins, he will be grateful to you. However, if you can avoid it, you should never ally with someone more powerful than yourself, because if he wins, you may be in his power."
-- Niccolò Machiavelli, 1513
There certainly must be something to it, but in my opinion sometimes there is a place for neutrality. If it is expressed without any nuance as above, I don't think it is good advice.
I was one of the people who implemented Google's top-level domain system. One day in the microkitchen I met Vint Cerf and told him what I worked on. He very curtly told me that he hates generic top-level domains, they confuse consumers, and ICANN should have been focusing on making .com / .org / .net better instead. It surprised me when I learned that I'd spent the last four years of my life working on a project where Google had bet big on gTLDs without the support of the father of the Internet. So I got a job on the TensorFlow team instead.
At some point I came across this quote which has been credited to Mark Twain:
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
I recall taking it to heart and trying to imagine the kind of regrets I would have as a 40 year old me. Shortly after this I sold everything I owned and traveled the world for years. That experience gave me even more confidence to follow my gut and make the most out of my life. I've tried to keep this mentality still as I am about to turn 37. It keeps me moving forward and trying to achieve my goals.
Before spending the last money I had on a coding book, the cashier could see my hesitation and said "don't worry, investing in yourself is never a waste of money".
A personal finance author I follow (Ramit Sethi) has a book-buying rule where he has unlimited budget when it comes to buying books because if even one line resonates with you / changes your life then it becomes much more valuable than the $10-$20 you spent on the book. I presume it's aimed towards non-fiction books, but some fiction books can profoundly change your perspective on things, and that's worth the investment too.
I mostly follow that rule, but with the caveat that I must begin reading/skimming it immediately after I buy it (otherwise it will just end up in the list of books "to be read"). Yes this means that I have an embarrassing amount of started books.
Time is the greatest resource, but energy management is your greatest goal. You will always run out of energy before you run out of time.
If you have a life where you pursue autonomy, the development of your capacities, and a sense of meaningfulness in what you do, you'll be able to withstand and enjoy much more than you think. If you don't pursue these things, everything will be harder.
Simply spending your time with more intentionality and being conscious of each moment changes so much.
It's easier to find satisfaction in goals outside of your own self, because they introduce a finite boundary whereas the self is infinite in its desires
Try to picture what a confident and well-adjusted person would do in the same situation, to determine if you are currently acting out because of trauma or fear.
If you have a habit, ask yourself what it will look like if it continues uninterrupted for decades. Conversely, try to picture what a habit you don't currently have could do for you over the same timespan.
My most significant piece of advice came from my uncle. It was simply this "how would you feel if your grandmother died tomorrow?". It had an immediate effect. From that moment on I began to respect and honour my grandmother.
Up until then I was not exactly the nicest grandchild, a lot of anger, a lot of confusion reigned in my childhood and my grandmother was the last in the chain. She ended up getting most of my frustration. But that piece of advice had a lasting impact, it has been with me for about forty years now.
I try to always remember that when dealing with other people not because I think I want to improve their lives, I simply don't wish to have a guilty conscience if they do die tomorrow. Of course the effect is the same as if I were to be motivated by altruist ideals.
For most people reading this it might be a nice ideal but not a good piece of advice. The reason this was a very good piece of advice for me was that a few years before my uncle said this to me, my father had died. He died without me being able to say goodbye, to be able to talk to him, nothing. I was left with a mighty large hole.
And that is the second piece of advice: some advice only works if you have had the experience. And some advice makes sense later after you have had the experience. Be open and listen to others, especially those older than you. Be polite, be reflective and be thankful for being the survivor of a long line of ancestors, not everyone gets to survive.
The value of advice comes from arriving at the right moment to the right person, not some platonic, universal “goodness“.
For example, I wanted to drop out of college to work on climate change, and an adult in that community who I respected immensely told me “calm down, it won’t be too late by the time you graduate“.
Not too many people needed the advice to worry less about climate change (especially 15 years ago), but it was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment so that I could focus on actually learning the fundamentals of engineering before throwing myself in
I've heard a similar story about a young man that wanting to become a monk, went to the monastery and one of the old monks there told him: "Go get a doctorate, then come back and choose if you really want to give up everything to meditate." or something along those lines.
The best piece of advice I received was 'slow and steady wins the race'. It's something I heard a 1000 times before and 1000 times after, and it never meant that much to me. When I heard it, though, at just the right time and it made just the right amount of sense that it totally changed my perspective on everything radically since then. It's totally changed the way I operate and the way I look at things. But I can't really communicate to other people what _exactly_ it means to me, because when I say it to other people they just hear 'slow and steady wins the race' the way I did the first 1000 times.
With respect to comparing oneself with other people, "Better at, not better than" -- can't remember when this was given, want to say 8th grade from some counselor interviewing me for something or another (career guidance? I remember him asking me about a phrase I liked back then, "Through knowledge, power"). I don't really agree , but I mulled over it then and still remember it, and it's not terrible as far as generic advice goes, especially if it can help someone avoid a superiority complex, which I'm sure back then I looked like I might develop.
A HS teacher had "Pay yourself first", which I still like, and is especially useful for people who might otherwise help others too much at their own expense (and ability to help a lot more in the future).
I think the real lasting advice that I still think about and would like to more perfectly follow is ch 9 of the tao te ching. One translation goes:
Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.
Another translation:
Brim-fill the bowl,
it’ll spill over.
Keep sharpening the blade,
you’ll soon blunt it.
Nobody can protect
a house full of gold and jade.
Wealth, status, pride,
are their own ruin.
To do good, work well, and lie low
is the way of the blessing.
There’s a chapter on the mind in the book Discourses and Sayings by Abba Dorotheus.
I suppose it can be summarised as “stop lying to yourself”.
There’s some subtlety to what this means. For me a big part of that is not living in my imagination. I used to have lots of imaginary conversations with people, predicting what they would say in those situations. This is dangerous since you end up building mental models based on (unfounded) mental models, instead of on reality. Your emotional responses also get coloured by these imaginary exchanges.
OTOH, if you can separate that fantasy from reality, it can help you calm down and produce a good result in the real situation, instead of going in blind. I often run through potential conversations in my head before dealing with bad situations, and I think it's been incredibly helpful.
This one is really hard to combat. The overthinking brain imagines every scenario ever, really hard to tune the noise down. I've gotten better at it lately but it's still difficult sometimes.
> There’s some subtlety to what this means. For me a big part of that is not living in my imagination. I used to have lots of imaginary conversations with people, predicting what they would say in those situations. This is dangerous since you end up building mental models based on (unfounded) mental models, instead of on reality. Your emotional responses also get coloured by these imaginary exchanges.
Another important point about this is that if you're in a heated (imaginary) debate with someone, your body reacts as though you are in a heated (real) debate with someone.
This pattern can be a pretty significant source of stress and anxiety.
From GTD methodology if I could remember only one simple thing it was "if ypu can do xyz in less than 5 mins do it now".
You’d be amazed how many things you can do in even ONE minute.
It helped me when depressed to come out of immobility and stop postponing even the simplest tasks : take out the garbage literally doable in under 60 seconds including going up and down the stairs, reply to some small emails, do some simple housekeeping tasks.
I remember a study from ages ago about the people who were able to stay focused on tasks though of the stuff they had to do, and committed to doing it in 15 seconds or less after thinking about it. Especially if it was simple, quick, or easy stuff, like a 3-liner email.
First class I got when I got to university, freshly arrived to the capital for my studies, still a kid. The calculus professor walks in and proceeds to do the "1/3 times 3 isn't 1, but it is" shtick, blowing everyone's minds. Continues doing this for 40 minutes and at the end he says:
"You're not competing with the people in your town anymore, you're not even competing with the people here, from now on think of yourselves competing with every engineer across the world. Aim high."
For a kid from Portugal that came from a smaller town, it changed my whole perspective. I loved that guy. Was an excellent professor for the rest of the semester as well. Can't say I met any other student of his that didn't walk away thinking fondly of him. Manuel Oliveira Ricou, you the man.
I've got a few that definitely had an impact on how I act, or perceive a situation.
"Why did you do that?"
"I don't know"
"Then if you don't know why you're doing something, don't do it."
I've heard this convo when I was a teenager, and I believe that it nudged me into having a bit more self-reflection and thoughtfulness than I would have otherwise.
"When people say something to you, most of the time it means either 'I need help' or 'I love you'"
And, closely related: "Don't forget that the person in front of you might just have a bad day".
Those have been immensely useful when dealing with common annoyance from family and strangers alike. It doesn't mean that you have to accept everything, but it certainly help in avoiding getting angry as the default reaction.
Your ego and your conscious mind are the source of most of your problems. Meditate to delve deeper and find out who you truly are. (Or more accurately, who you are not.) If you can tap into and sync up with this inner self, your problems will melt away and you will find happiness without needing much.
This isn’t to say that you must get rid of your conscious mind or ego. Simply understand why they’re useful.
Your conscious mind is a focusing tool, like a coach, and your subconscious mind is like the players in charge of the doing. The conscious mind shouldn’t be the one trying to solve everything. The ego cares too much about things that don’t matter like pride, greed, and ruling the universe. It is just trying to protect you from harm and death.
Let go of these feelings and thoughts, and stop trying to be the supreme ruler of the universe. You cannot control nearly as much as you think you can, including yourself. You can only influence.
Be still, let life happen and flow with it like water. Translation: Be perceptive of what’s happening around you and within, then act appropriately by gently guiding everything toward the desired outcome without using force and striving. Patience is key here. Striving makes you use up your energy too quickly and potentially burn out.
When you achieve this state of mind, it feels like you can solve any problem using your mind and ingenuity, and nothing really bothers you anymore. You’ll only spend time on what truly matters to you and your life will become one that’s truly worth living.
Been recently struggling with health and having a lot of time on my hands, I have gotten more into meditation. I like the way these thoughts of yours are going. While learning who 'I' am and who I am not might be a part of our introspective journey, are there any books you could recommend looking into as to support the practice of mindfulness and meditation?
When I was a new developer just a couple months out of school, and was very eager to be a part of my company and fit in, an older developer told me “remember that your interests and your path are your own.”
Over the years, I’ve suffered from “company man” syndrome and look back to his guidance as a reminder that I should own my skills and interests, and bring them to an employer if and for as long as the job suits them. I shouldn’t go with the job wherever it takes me simply because that’s my employer’s wish.
Not always easy advice to take, but extremely important advice to me.
Thank you for contributing this. I'm 22 years into my career, mostly spent in mundane engineering roles compared to the deep research I worked on as a hobby but really wanted to do professionally. After pushing very hard for many years, I finally landed that deep R&D gig and am well compensated.
My skills and interested are more hardware oriented in a company that brought me in is much more software and math. I've felt obligated to become much more software and math capable, spending very late nights and weekends studying. It's not a bad thing to expand one's mind, but at the heart, I know I'm really doing it more so to 'fit-in' better and less to communicate with my peers better.
I will take this advice and double down on bringing my hardware skills/passions to the table, which as my wife has repeatedly told me the past several months is really why they brought me on. They didn't bring me on to mold me into a clone of researchers they already have.
In art school I had a professor tell us something like,” when you’re sick you say you’re going to appreciate all these small things, like smelling the flowers after you had no sense of smell, and make all these changes but by the time you’re better you never do “, it’s something I think about pretty regularly two decades later. I think that telling a bunch of young people they would never do something made it a really great thing to “Rebel against”. Like, at some of my lowest points it’s been the thing that always replays first. How am I going to learn from this crap and find more enjoyment and humility from it.
[+] [-] javajosh|3 years ago|reply
Her advice fails to accept the reality of social and emotional needs. It also fails to address the (sometimes severe) downside of non-conformance. This advice made me an Outsider whether or not I wanted to be. I now believe that these were tools she formed to get her through her own family and social trauma, which she falsely assumed would be generally useful, and did her best to arm her children with her best tools. I also believe there are upsides to the approach, but the trade-offs are real and cannot and shouldn't be swept under the rug. I imagine others had similar experiences with religious parents.
Advice is dangerous. It has built in moral hazard. Advice is too often given in well-meaning ignorance and pride - but ultimately advice gets someone else to test your hypothesis for you. So if you've not gotten any life-changing advice, be glad!
[+] [-] edw519|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Yhippa|3 years ago|reply
What does this mean? That it sticks to high-level, timeless concepts?
[+] [-] CPLX|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] CamperBob2|3 years ago|reply
I especially like that one. Me, as a newbie in the industry: "Customer X is a bunch of idiots." Boss: "If they weren't idiots, they wouldn't need us."
This one, on the other hand:
4. The best time to turn it on is before it's ready. You'll get plenty of data to finish it faster.
If it's software, check your backups first.
If it's hardware, ummm, yeeahh, no. Wait 'til it's ready. Trust me on this one.
[+] [-] gbro3n|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] iKevinShah|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] jemmyw|3 years ago|reply
The best abstract advice I've been given is to say "I don't know" when I don't know. No waffle, no bullshit, no trying to save face. Saves a lot of time.
[+] [-] crankin|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] skydhash|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] IgorPartola|3 years ago|reply
If you say something “should be a thing” you are automatically now in charge of creating it or convincing someone to create it. Do not tell people who are working on things that they should realize your idea if you are not willing to put down what you are doing and work on it yourself. This advice prevents you from being the annoying ideas person.
Don’t get married. Tax benefits are minor, divorce headache is major. Separate public declaration of love and commitment from your government and financial affairs. You can still have a commitment ceremony and a big party.
Learn how to properly ask for consent. You are likely very bad at this.
The most important thing about a job is not what you work on but who you work with. Pick people, not projects.
Plumbing is easier than you think. Learn to do it yourself.
Related to the above, read Heinlein’s quote on specialization. It is for insects. Learn to do everything.
Stress kills. Get sleep.
Don’t take advice from strangers on the internet :)
[+] [-] weinzierl|3 years ago|reply
I've heard and read this advice numerous times, and it is even very old advice.
"Rulers must never remain neutral. If neighboring rulers fight, you must take sides, because if you do not, the winner will threaten you, and the loser will not befriend you. Whether or not your ally wins, he will be grateful to you. However, if you can avoid it, you should never ally with someone more powerful than yourself, because if he wins, you may be in his power."
-- Niccolò Machiavelli, 1513
There certainly must be something to it, but in my opinion sometimes there is a place for neutrality. If it is expressed without any nuance as above, I don't think it is good advice.
[+] [-] naasking|3 years ago|reply
Hard disagree. Sometimes "I don't know, we should research that more" is the best response. Maybe even often rather than sometimes.
[+] [-] jart|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] DustinBrett|3 years ago|reply
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
I recall taking it to heart and trying to imagine the kind of regrets I would have as a 40 year old me. Shortly after this I sold everything I owned and traveled the world for years. That experience gave me even more confidence to follow my gut and make the most out of my life. I've tried to keep this mentality still as I am about to turn 37. It keeps me moving forward and trying to achieve my goals.
[+] [-] joenot443|3 years ago|reply
How old were you when you took your trip? Did you continue working or just enjoy the travels?
[+] [-] xcmac|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] ghstcode|3 years ago|reply
It had a profound impact on me.
[+] [-] nonasktell|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] abustamam|3 years ago|reply
I mostly follow that rule, but with the caveat that I must begin reading/skimming it immediately after I buy it (otherwise it will just end up in the list of books "to be read"). Yes this means that I have an embarrassing amount of started books.
[+] [-] pmoriarty|3 years ago|reply
I presume you did better with your investment.
[+] [-] swyx|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] picsao|3 years ago|reply
[deleted]
[+] [-] Bakary|3 years ago|reply
If you have a life where you pursue autonomy, the development of your capacities, and a sense of meaningfulness in what you do, you'll be able to withstand and enjoy much more than you think. If you don't pursue these things, everything will be harder.
Simply spending your time with more intentionality and being conscious of each moment changes so much.
It's easier to find satisfaction in goals outside of your own self, because they introduce a finite boundary whereas the self is infinite in its desires
Try to picture what a confident and well-adjusted person would do in the same situation, to determine if you are currently acting out because of trauma or fear.
If you have a habit, ask yourself what it will look like if it continues uninterrupted for decades. Conversely, try to picture what a habit you don't currently have could do for you over the same timespan.
[+] [-] fluxinflex|3 years ago|reply
Up until then I was not exactly the nicest grandchild, a lot of anger, a lot of confusion reigned in my childhood and my grandmother was the last in the chain. She ended up getting most of my frustration. But that piece of advice had a lasting impact, it has been with me for about forty years now.
I try to always remember that when dealing with other people not because I think I want to improve their lives, I simply don't wish to have a guilty conscience if they do die tomorrow. Of course the effect is the same as if I were to be motivated by altruist ideals.
For most people reading this it might be a nice ideal but not a good piece of advice. The reason this was a very good piece of advice for me was that a few years before my uncle said this to me, my father had died. He died without me being able to say goodbye, to be able to talk to him, nothing. I was left with a mighty large hole.
And that is the second piece of advice: some advice only works if you have had the experience. And some advice makes sense later after you have had the experience. Be open and listen to others, especially those older than you. Be polite, be reflective and be thankful for being the survivor of a long line of ancestors, not everyone gets to survive.
[+] [-] thebigspacefuck|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] orzig|3 years ago|reply
For example, I wanted to drop out of college to work on climate change, and an adult in that community who I respected immensely told me “calm down, it won’t be too late by the time you graduate“.
Not too many people needed the advice to worry less about climate change (especially 15 years ago), but it was exactly what I needed to hear in that moment so that I could focus on actually learning the fundamentals of engineering before throwing myself in
[+] [-] solanav|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] tsol|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] nolroz|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Jach|3 years ago|reply
A HS teacher had "Pay yourself first", which I still like, and is especially useful for people who might otherwise help others too much at their own expense (and ability to help a lot more in the future).
I think the real lasting advice that I still think about and would like to more perfectly follow is ch 9 of the tao te ching. One translation goes:
Another translation:[+] [-] gampleman|3 years ago|reply
I suppose it can be summarised as “stop lying to yourself”.
There’s some subtlety to what this means. For me a big part of that is not living in my imagination. I used to have lots of imaginary conversations with people, predicting what they would say in those situations. This is dangerous since you end up building mental models based on (unfounded) mental models, instead of on reality. Your emotional responses also get coloured by these imaginary exchanges.
[+] [-] wccrawford|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] NayamAmarshe|3 years ago|reply
This one is really hard to combat. The overthinking brain imagines every scenario ever, really hard to tune the noise down. I've gotten better at it lately but it's still difficult sometimes.
[+] [-] marginalia_nu|3 years ago|reply
Another important point about this is that if you're in a heated (imaginary) debate with someone, your body reacts as though you are in a heated (real) debate with someone.
This pattern can be a pretty significant source of stress and anxiety.
[+] [-] leobg|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] NaN1352|3 years ago|reply
You’d be amazed how many things you can do in even ONE minute.
It helped me when depressed to come out of immobility and stop postponing even the simplest tasks : take out the garbage literally doable in under 60 seconds including going up and down the stairs, reply to some small emails, do some simple housekeeping tasks.
[+] [-] blaser-waffle|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] vasco|3 years ago|reply
"You're not competing with the people in your town anymore, you're not even competing with the people here, from now on think of yourselves competing with every engineer across the world. Aim high."
For a kid from Portugal that came from a smaller town, it changed my whole perspective. I loved that guy. Was an excellent professor for the rest of the semester as well. Can't say I met any other student of his that didn't walk away thinking fondly of him. Manuel Oliveira Ricou, you the man.
[+] [-] mromanuk|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] Hates_|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mablopoule|3 years ago|reply
"Why did you do that?"
"I don't know"
"Then if you don't know why you're doing something, don't do it."
I've heard this convo when I was a teenager, and I believe that it nudged me into having a bit more self-reflection and thoughtfulness than I would have otherwise.
"When people say something to you, most of the time it means either 'I need help' or 'I love you'"
And, closely related: "Don't forget that the person in front of you might just have a bad day".
Those have been immensely useful when dealing with common annoyance from family and strangers alike. It doesn't mean that you have to accept everything, but it certainly help in avoiding getting angry as the default reaction.
[+] [-] wccrawford|3 years ago|reply
No, it doesn't. Especially if it makes the situation worse.
[+] [-] LudwigNagasena|3 years ago|reply
A good way to enter zen due to the Münchhausen trilemma.
[+] [-] kren|3 years ago|reply
This isn’t to say that you must get rid of your conscious mind or ego. Simply understand why they’re useful.
Your conscious mind is a focusing tool, like a coach, and your subconscious mind is like the players in charge of the doing. The conscious mind shouldn’t be the one trying to solve everything. The ego cares too much about things that don’t matter like pride, greed, and ruling the universe. It is just trying to protect you from harm and death.
Let go of these feelings and thoughts, and stop trying to be the supreme ruler of the universe. You cannot control nearly as much as you think you can, including yourself. You can only influence.
Be still, let life happen and flow with it like water. Translation: Be perceptive of what’s happening around you and within, then act appropriately by gently guiding everything toward the desired outcome without using force and striving. Patience is key here. Striving makes you use up your energy too quickly and potentially burn out.
When you achieve this state of mind, it feels like you can solve any problem using your mind and ingenuity, and nothing really bothers you anymore. You’ll only spend time on what truly matters to you and your life will become one that’s truly worth living.
[+] [-] kiko123|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] aBitPlayer|3 years ago|reply
Over the years, I’ve suffered from “company man” syndrome and look back to his guidance as a reminder that I should own my skills and interests, and bring them to an employer if and for as long as the job suits them. I shouldn’t go with the job wherever it takes me simply because that’s my employer’s wish.
Not always easy advice to take, but extremely important advice to me.
[+] [-] mojomark|3 years ago|reply
My skills and interested are more hardware oriented in a company that brought me in is much more software and math. I've felt obligated to become much more software and math capable, spending very late nights and weekends studying. It's not a bad thing to expand one's mind, but at the heart, I know I'm really doing it more so to 'fit-in' better and less to communicate with my peers better.
I will take this advice and double down on bringing my hardware skills/passions to the table, which as my wife has repeatedly told me the past several months is really why they brought me on. They didn't bring me on to mold me into a clone of researchers they already have.
[+] [-] werber|3 years ago|reply
[+] [-] mherrmann|3 years ago|reply