Ask HN: What do you do to reduce stress or keep work stress away from work life?

[new_learner]

Recently got diagnosed with generalized anxiety just 2 years after getting promoted as a Eng. Manager.

It seems that I am stuck in a vicious circle where my work woes keep me from being my best in the personal life (exercise, spending quality time with family, sleep) and resulting issues in physical and mental ealth means I slip up more at work and the cycle repeats.

Wondering what are some goto behaviors/tactics I might be lacking to make it work.

[ac2u]

It'll help to internalise a few general truths.

- If your work woes are caused by an anxiety to perform and think you're doing well at work, chances are in most cases other people will think so too. In general, people will think less about you than you're paranoid about.

- If you're anxious that "bad thing X will happen unless I do A, B and C", then write down your worries of what the consequences (Y) will be if you don't do A, B and C. Then, selectively avoid completing certain tasks, or let them run late. I'm not talking about core work tasks here, use your own judgement. Why do this? Well, you want to be able to revisit this list later and see if the consequences were as you predicted. Chances are for a lot of things no one will care. Then you're building up a base of evidence that your more neurotic tendencies aren't the best predictor of the future, and you can adjust accordingly. Sometimes this base of hard evidence is needed for certain personalities to really internalise the lessons.

[atomicnature]

My personal philosophy is: "Increase capabilities". I consider Stress as an indicator of skill/resource deficits (not always).

I find "sticking to the process" to be most important characteristic in increasing capabilities.

The gym analogy is appropriate here. If I stop working out because I can't manage a particular weight, then I become weaker overtime (or stagnate at best). But if I persist despite the initial pressures, even if imperfectly, then eventually I become capable of handling the extra weight.

Man needs an arena to struggle, to overcome; without that a human being cannot fully develop oneself.

[wruza]

In my case it lead to secretly accumulating anxiety until it blew up in my face after 35. I believe OP is similar.

Sticking to the process of struggle has its own benefits, but it also may make you wake up one day and realize it was 10 years of struggling nowhere while everyone around enjoyed life and achieved at least the same. Worst case is when you’re 50+ at that realization.

Maybe gym is not a good target for my criticism, as it changes the chemistry in a positive way. But I doubt that psychological struggle does any good, unless you’re regularly seeing a therapist or have a great self-reflection ability.

[gardenhedge]

That's a dangerous philosophy

[night-rider]

Don't bring your work home. Even better, see your work as a form of play to make it easier. It's worth re-framing work as play since nobody wants to see their work as drudgery.

[helph67]

I take and recommend magnesium each night just prior to bed. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/magnesium-the-most-powerf_b_4... You should discuss it with your G.P. If you own a dog, regularly take it for a walk in `green areas' (parks/gardens (away from traffic)). If you don't own a dog, get one.

[meristohm]

Since my dog died I walk more and get better exercise. It's okay to walk alone (easy for this White male to say...). Please don't take lightly the adoption of a companion animal (or other type of working animal); we choose how they live and often how they die, and they are each an individual worthy of love and care (hence, as helph67 might be pointing at, their help in getting us outside to meet their needs, IF we actually care; I've seen too many people who have a dog as an ornament or solely to guard their property as the dog gains weight and gets cranky).

[Nickersf]

First, thing I would consider is mentality. I'm a developer and there are times where I just shut it down after the shift and force myself to forget about work. Shut it off and just start doing other activities.

Second, slow down on work related projects and activities. Sometimes I just stop thinking about or working on programming related side projects for a week or so to cleanse the palette.

[DataJunkie]

If I have a lot of time, I will mountain bike.

If I have a short amount of time, I will do some gardening. It's very relaxing and rewarding in a simple kind of way.

[poorbutdebtfree]

Travel to the third world and ask the locals on how they deal with eating only once a day.