Ask HN: How do you get out of a rut?

[inarut2023]

Software dev of 12+ years.

I'm in the worst creative and motivational rut I've ever been in.

I can't get excited about code anymore, and creative solutions simply will not come to me. Every single coding task feels 100x the effort that it actually is.

I desperately need to get out of this rut, as it's killing my mood and causing me to spiral downward. I've always been a great engineer but something changed in the last few months.

How have you gotten out of ruts in your life?

[thequadehunter]

I don't think I consider myself a "great engineer", but I've gone through similar feelings and I see a few issues here.

I think the way we get into this industry is a doubled edged sword. A lot of us do this because we love computers and software. The upside of this is that it's easy to stay motivated and move up. A lot of us probably grew up as black sheep in our communities, and are now being handsomely rewarded for our efforts. It's very validating.

However, I think there is a dark side to this validation. Eventually, some of us begin to see our self worth in our output. On top of that, there's always pressure to learn new things, because if you're not keeping up then you may get left behind. This is easy enough in your early 20's when you're full of drive, but real life responsibilities pile up with age, and it gets harder and harder.

I can't say for sure if you fall into this category, but I know I did, and I realized two problems.

1. I saw my self worth in my career. In general, I needed external validation to feel happy. This is not sustainable because sometimes you're working on projects that you know are bullshit, and sometimes you screw up. If you ever bite off more than you can chew or get stuck on a project you know is stupid, it will burn you out.

2. I needed to turn off the computer. You say that you desperately need to get out of this rut, but the rut isn't the problem. The fact that you think you need to get out of it is the problem.

Turn off the computer. Stop coding for a few days outside of work. Go outside and don't bring your phone. If you are on public transport or something and you have the urge to check your phone, pull out a book instead and begin reading.

It may sound counterintuitive, but all of this is way more productive and inspiring than desperately trying to escape a rut that was created by your own mind prison. You need to unplug for a while. You are most likely burned out.

[AA-BA-94-2A-56]

> But the rut isn't the problem. The fact that you think you need to get out of it is the problem.

This is an incredible insight in and of itself, thank you.

[cableshaft]

Make a change. Something significant enough to be noticeable.

Change your job. Change your relationship. Change the city where you live. Change your primary hobby. Change your friends. Go back to school or start a business. Go somewhere you've never been before, the further away the better.

You don't have to (and probably shouldn't) do all of these, but you should probably do at least one of them. And changing your job seems to be one of the more effective and easiest ones, in my experience, and may naturally facilitate a few other changes as well.

Also take a break before the change happens, if you can. Like tell a new job you'll be available to start two weeks after you quit the other job (don't word it like that, just say you'll be available to start like 4 weeks after accepting a job offer). You probably could use at least a couple of weeks, if not more, to not have to think about code.

[rurp]

There's an old Simpsons quote that pops into my head fairly often. The hippie parents of a young Ned Flanders can't figure out how to get his behavior under control and tell a therapist, "We've tried nothin', and we're all out of ideas".

It's actually a pretty common pattern to observe, where someone is really upset about an issue, but doesn't try anything to improve it. I think everyone falls into this trap at times, to varying degrees. Doing something about a problem, even if you aren't sure the best path, usually helps you feel better immediately and can often lead to a good solution sooner or later.

[amerkhalid]

> Change your job. Change your relationship. Change the city where you live. Change your primary hobby. Change your friends. Go back to school or start a business. Go somewhere you've never been before, the further away the better.

Agreed. It worked for me, at least, when it came to job. I was feeling stuck in my last job. There was nothing to complain about but something didn't feel right. Switching job improved my mood 100%.

Just a fair warning, after initial excitement of new job dies down, you may get buyer's remorse and miss your old job a lot. It was comfortable, you knew what you needed to do, you had built up respect and reputation. Now you will need to start over; just work hard through this period until it passes. Soon excitement and energy will return to you and you will be glad that you switched your job.

[sys_64738]

Change your text editor. You're never too young to learn how to use Emacs.

[abhayhegde]

> Change your job. Change your relationship. Change the city where you live. Change your primary hobby. Change your friends.

As much as I admire the sentiment here to change the surroundings that puts someone in the vicious cycle of negative thinking, most of these are impractical. Changing a job as easy as you say is a privilege most can't afford in my opinion.

[i_like_pie1]

agree. well said

we are all wired diff. adding 3 more - may or may not work for you but here we go:

1/ explore new ideas: read, go look at art in museum, play games. expose yourself to creative work of others 2/ read https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-25th-Anniversary/dp/01431... and do some of the exercises 3/ workout. if already doing it = ignore. if not = exercise. 5+ days/week

tldr/same as OP: take action

[robg]

As a neuroscientist who struggles with my brain wellness and health, I’ve developed a checklist for my own self-assessments:

1. How is my sleep?

2. Am I limiting caffeine intake?

3. Anything else affecting my sleep? Room temperature? Lights? White noise? Eating too late? Alcohol?

Sleep is how the brain repairs damage caused by daily life. Not enough or poor quality means you will drag, not just over days, but weeks and months is exactly a downward spiral.

4. Checked my Vitamin D levels recently and supplementing with D3/K?

Circadian rhythms and cognition are poorly studied, but there’s good evidence on Vitamin D and mood and seasonal affective disorder.

5. Managing stress?

Too much stress affects key brain functions like learning, memory, and attention. Too little sleep leads to more stress.

6. Exercising enough?

Am I getting outside daily, going for walks or runs, etc.

7. Nutrition

Am I making good food choices that give me sustained energy or am I eating mindlessly?

The pandemic was the last piece on nutrition for me. I saw how one bad meal (e.g. burger and fries) affected me for 2 days.

[balfirevic]

> I saw how one bad meal (e.g. burger and fries) affected me for 2 days.

That sounds (almost literally) unbelievable to me. I've had periods of eating trash and periods of eating healthy home made food. It doesn't make any difference to how I feel.

(I understand people are different, I was just surprised how far from my experience this is).

[frontiersummit]

I read this as "person, 35-ish, stuck in a rut" which is a situation so common that automakers engineer cars like the Mazda Miata specifically for people in it.

[codegeek]

My stuck in a rut was even more cavalier. A KTM RC390 sportsbike. Mazda Miata doesnt cut it for me.

[brewtide]

As someone who has owned 2 Miataii in their life, 100% agree. Current is a '91 NA in British racing green! When I'm getting hammered by the work / grind, I'll make sure I at least drive it to and from work for a few days -- still doing the thing I need to do (painter; partly seasonal type job with natural world time-frames... nearing soon!). Provides a bit of lark in the day and reminds me to stop stressing as much and to literally and figuratively enjoy the wind in my hair.

But regardless of "buy a car", put some effort into a thing you've always wanted to try to explore, no matter how "pointless" and explore it -- the point of life is to live it and we're all so willing to fall into our own filter bubble of life -- very realized at 'mid age' (41 here, really starting to appreciate birds and cars going slow by my house...)

Find YOU, no matter how unproductive financially / whatever metric that may be!

[watermelon59]

Can you elaborate on that? Sounds interesting.

I’m exactly 35 and in the same situation as the OP.

[garrickvanburen]

About 9 years ago now, I worked through The Artists Way - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Artist's_Way - highly recommended.

Friends of mine have said they found their new business on the other side of TAW.

TAW gave me means to foster and maintaining a mental environment for creativity and delight to emerge. And just for that I highly recommend it.

TAW is great for identifying underlying creative blockers and helping you discover if the current rut is the same rut repeated or something new.

A caveat: some people interpret the words 'artist' and 'god' in the book pretty narrowly and get stuck. I've personally pretty wide interpretation of those words and hold them loosely.

[3dsnano]

i was in a similar spot. did not want to do anything, i felt useless, it was terrible and like i was in the bottom of a hole with no way out. i found myself in tears often. i tried exercising (i run everyday) and being more active but it was still not clicking.

after much deliberation, i talked to my doctor and i got on antidepressants, SSRI's. i did not want to take them but i was willing to try anything because i could imagine ending my life, something that was profound and pretty eye opening when i discussed it with a third party.

i took them for 6 months and weaned off of them once i noticed they had gripped my personality in a weird way and were starting to turn me into a different being: someone who didn't want to end their life, but someone who was finding very little pleasure in life.

maybe try LSD, it works wonders when you want to change your mind, but you have to respect it and work with a therapist/sitter who can help guide you. its amazing what your mind can do.

someone told me if i could make it through my rut, then i could emerge on the other side, stronger than ever. they were right. in and through, it's the only way. put on a kettle and make some tea for your depression, sit down with it and talk to it, understand it, don't force it out. in and through. it's the only way. you can do it. don't give up.

[zerobrainwash]

Been there and there is no easy answer. Personally, I’ve tried switching jobs, doing new hobbies on a side but it was not enough. I’ve burned out much deeper than 1-month vacation or a new job, doing essentially the same, could fix. In the end, my whole life needed changing. Now I’ve cut my costs a lot, work a lot more on my own projects, take on freelance work, and spend A LOT of time doing other shit that I want to do. It feels crazily unproductive at times and I’m missing out on a lot of money and career improvements. But I feel fucking alive.

I think to get out of the rut, you actually need to do significant changes that feel scary but those are the only ones that will shake you and get you out of the rut. It’s actually really simple but also not easy. In a sense, we crave for that rut and familiarity of what the next day brings but that’s also what kills us. Need to shake up things periodically, try to discover other parts of yourself you didn’t know or forgot about. That will do the job.

[appplication]

Gosh it is so hard. I think I’m a few years from doing the same. Earning good money right now, can’t wait to cut it at back. But lifestyle inflation is real. Or at least my mortgage payment is as real as it ever was. And now family is growing one at a time and all of them depend on my income exclusively (not that I mind, but it does add gravity when I feel like quitting it all). It is quite a trap.

[Ocerge]

I just started a month-long leave from work for...exactly this reason, to the same year. Grinding it out for over a decade without stopping for even a full week of vacation catches up to you eventually.

[davely]

In general, I think this is a good idea. For me, I recently took a 6 week long sabbatical (our company offers that after you've been there a number of years).

I was hoping to feel recharged and energized after, but for me, it didn't help. Mostly due to having to deal with some mental health stuff with one of our kiddos. It's been exhausting.

[Damogran6]

When I was younger, I told the white, curlyhaird old man who managed the helpdesk that I had some crazy amount of leave banked. He said "You're stupid, and leaving money on the table. They're paying you and you're not taking that money"

25 years later I use every bit of my PTO...every year. I'm in a much better mental state.

If your office says they can't run without you, tell them you can go away for a week at a time occasionally, or you could get hit by a car and be gone forever...shouldn't their process have a little resilience?

[koliber]

Recognizing that you are in a rut is a start. You’re already there.

Some time ago I realized that there is a long-term rhythm and cadence to my life. The ruts are part of that. I learned to look for signs that show that I am getting into a rut, or out of one.

I do things to help myself get out of a rut. At the same time I realize that this is not fully under my control. I give myself room, and am patient.

First thing I do is look for objective causes. Often these are things that are out of my control. Health issues of family and friends. Political situation. War. Others are more under my control. These are usually the basics: diet, sleep, exercise, and social connection.

I try to affect the things under my control. It takes significant effort, but it usually helps.

For the things I can not control I make sure to notice when the issues pass. I make a concrete mental note to no longer let it affect me, since the thing changed. And also, I try to accept the things I can’t change, recognizing that they will affect me nonetheless. This also seems to help.

No silver bullets. Key thing is to make sure the rut does not become self-reinforcing. Self-love and acceptance are a part of this.

Good luck on your journey.

[cataly5t]

It's hard to say without really knowing your situation, but it sounds like the problem may be somewhere other than with the actual work. Has anything else changed in your life in the past few months? There maybe be something you've been avoiding dealing with. Also pay attention to your diet and exercise. Taking care of yourself will make you feel better. Do yoga. Good luck <3

[hermitcrab]

Yes. If you aren't exercising, try it. It can make a surprising difference.

[amozoss]

Been in a rut and burned out. Here's what has been helping

1. Exercise, keeps my energy up.

2. Wake up at the same time (helps me fall asleep at night)

3. Make a plan the night before for 1 thing I want to accomplish the next day.

I also found the book Feeling Good by David D. Burns MD helpful. He has several ways to retrain your inner voice to recognize when you're self sabotaging.

[asow92]

What are your thoughts about going into management? Even if your first response is to recoil, consider if the change of pace may help shift your perspective on your career. In my experience some the best managers are engineers who don't want to be managers, and you can always go back if it's not for you.

[kingnothing]

It's hard to give advice without more info about your life situation.

Overall, I'd suggest talking with a psychiatrist and psychologist. Get screened for depression and other possible mental issues that may cause this.

If everything else in life is amazing, maybe you're starting to burnout. Can you take a few weeks off?

[purpleblue]

Spend the next year making work the least significant thing in your life.

Do a good but not great job at work, and instead focus on doing things like travel or finding a girlfriend/boyfriend if you don't have one. Work out once a day, visit friends in other cities, go on a road trip, etc.

[oulu2006]

I've been in this rut for a while.

For me? the solution was getting GPT-4 to start all my code, it's solved my "slow/cold start" problem.

Once I have the initial code generated for my problem, editing it has proven to be far more effective for me to continue being productive.

[ativzzz]

I quit my job and took 6 months off to get out of my last rut. I think this is something I will start doing every 5 years or so. I thought I would always hate working, but the long break is exactly what I needed

May be harder depending on the economic situation, I found a job within a few weeks of looking (2 years ago). If you've been at a company for a while, they may offer extended unpaid leave so you don't have to re-interview

[karaterobot]

I don't know what it says about me (maybe that I'm a people pleaser) but I've had motivational ruts in the past be completely unblocked just by someone for whom I have some regard asking me for help. They say "can you make a tool that does X" and all of a sudden I'm deeply motivated, working for days or even weeks like I'm obsessed. Once sufficient motivation occurs, in my experience the creativity and productivity parts just tend to follow. It's not an unpleasant experience, but kind of a weird mechanism. I wish I could harness that to do stuff for myself, but that seems to be much harder.

[sergiosgc]

One of the techniques for escaping a rut is scoring a goal. Achieve something. Say "I made this!". Solving someone else's problem is a perfect opportunity to score.

[mooonnnsooon]

Thanks for your honesty and vulnerable post.

I have no answer but am in a similar situation. Though not as an engenier but as a former professional in the business world.

For what it is worth my experience is that these things has to be taken serious.

I ended up jobless, single and isolated before I realized how deep a hole I was in was. I could not allow myself to take the chance it was to quit or similar responsible action and stayed in it till I was very ill.

So my advice is to keep reaching out to people who will listen to your feelings about this. Someone who takes you seriously!

Best wishes

[dontbotherme808]

It's time for a change. It's scary, but don't be scared. If there's anything else you have ever wanted to try, now is the time to do so. The rut at work is not going to fix itself and doing nothing will only make it worse. Don't wait for your colleagues to notice. Take time off and sit with your thoughts and feelings, the answer will come.

[evahehe]

Hi inarut2023,

Recently got out of my rut and just want to share a quick and short advice: change your pace. Do something different. You could go on a vacation or join a hackathon. The whole point here is that new changes, even if ever so slight, can help inspire us in a different way. Hopefully you'll find back your fire soon, and stay in a rut only for 2023, no longer.

Cheers, a fellow dev excited for Mondays