Ask YC: Meditation Advice

[andr]

I am getting a lot of stress lately and have trouble focusing, so I'm looking to start meditating to help my case. I failed to find something useful on searchyc.com. My only experience with this are the 5-minute meditations a professor made us do in class. I am basically failing to see the difference between meditation and sitting on the couch and watching empty space for a couple of minutes.

So, what is the hacker way to meditation? Do you have any tips as to how to approach it? Thanks!

[coffeemug]

Be careful. Meditation is a buzz word and has a big industry built around it. Most of it is junk. The best meditation advice is offered by people that have taken a vow not to accept money (other than donations), so if you're being charged something other than a nominal fee, it's likely a scam.

Meditation is not about relaxation, stress relief, and being in peace with yourself and the world. These things only come as a byproduct.

Meditation is not a band aid you can apply to your life to make it better. You cannot continue living your life exactly the way it is now, medidate for half an hour a day and expect improvement. It is psychological self exploration. If you maintain your life the way it is now, you will very quickly hit a boundary and will make no further progress in meditation until your life is changed.

Meditation is about observing the way your mind works. The only way to do that is to anchor it by sustaining an incredibly focused attention on a single object for prolonged periods of time. It doesn't matter what the object is (although it's normally breath) - your mind responds to any object and by learning to sustain uninterrupted attention you will observe how your mind works.

I would suggest you to seek instruction in Anapanasati from a competent teacher. Ignore new age stuff, buddhist cosmology, relaxation and stress relief business, or any related stuff. None of it will make any lasting difference.

In a nutshell just follow your breathing, one breath at a time. When you discover you've lost attention, relax, smile, accept whatever emotions you're feeling, and go back to the breath. Seek a teacher once you discover how incredibly deep and subtle this process can be.

Good luck!

EDIT: I suppose I should add a disclaimer. I am far, far from an expert. If someone (including me) claims they completely understand meditation, they probably do not.

[aaronblohowiak]

"The only way to do that is to anchor it by sustaining an incredibly focused attention on a single object for prolonged periods of time." -- This is one way. You can learn to attend to your attention without the focus on a mudra or sutra, but for most people this is not the easiest entry point.

[staunch]

Meditation isn't a silver bullet. If you're not sleeping enough, you should do that first. If you're not exercising enough, do that second.

[khafra]

I do internal martial arts (Which are Chinese arts which partake of Chi Gung a bit '(Xingyi Bagua T'ai Chi)) in a class where we actually hit each other--near full strength, but slowly. There's nothing like it, in my experience, for stress relief; it's far beyond static meditation or hitting the open road on my motorcycle or dancing at a club.

Having a punch completely take your equilibrium because you let your mind get trapped in an analysis paralysis loop is a wonderfully effective biofeedback mechanism.

[noodle]

this. for the vast majority of people, meditation does not relieve stress. its good for other purposes, but not heavy-duty stress relief. and this comes from someone who meditated almost daily for several years.

in general, the best ways to relieve stress follow the rule of thumb: "take care of yourself". sleep long/well enough, exercise, eat right, ensure personal health (go to doctor/dentist, get a massage, etc.), and take the time to do the things you enjoy.

[jscn]

Personally I find any activity which forces you to lose that constant mind chatter to be very relaxing. My favourites are sparring (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu), weight lifting and Life Drawing. I guess it's that old 'flow' thing.

The nice thing about exercise is it will help you sleep better, which I find is half the battle in trying to maintain focus (especially for us programmers who spend most of the day sitting at a desk).

[PStamatiou]

and if you're not having (much) sex, you should do that third.

[aristus]

Best meditation advice I got was completely unexpected so I took it to heart. It was in a footnote in a book called "Ventriloquism For The Total Dummy".

1) Dark room. Dark.

2) Lie in bed or on the floor.

3) Breathe.

4) More slowly.

5) Nope, slower. Hold it in tension.

6) Concentrate on breathing. This is not a nap.

[skmurphy]

This is good advice. I learned Transcendental Meditation a while ago and found that it did relieve stress. I also found that when I was tired I would fall asleep instead of meditating since that's what my body needed. I try and do it when I first wake up in the morning for 20 minutes and again sometime before dinner. Sleep and exercise are also good at reducing stress, but I have definitely found that meditation helps me to relax and reframe my perceptions.

[netcan]

I would add:

7) Practice. This isn't magic. You are trying to get your body & brain to do something. It's not something it just does regularly by itself. Think of it as exercise.

[bumbledraven]

http://dhamma.org puts on 10-day silent Buddhist meditation retreats at retreat centers around the world. They're supported entirely by donations: they don't charge for the retreats, nor do they accept donations from people who haven't attended one.

I've participated in retreats at a few of their locations and helped out on the volunteer staff a few times. The stuff they teach, though basic -- observe your breath & observe the sensations in your body -- is really useful.

[cool-RR]

I recommend this organization too. I would recommend to anyone to attend one of those 10-day courses.

They assume you have no background knowledge whatsoever about meditation, and they teach you everything you need to know. The course is very intensive and hard, but it's really really rewarding. It's a life-changing experience.

I attended this course a few years ago, and while I don't meditate regularly, I do meditate sometimes for 30 minutes. I do it when I feel stressed, or overworked, or when I feel my urges are controlling me. It works great against these things. I feel like this meditation is a sort of super-powerful weapon that I can pull out when life gets tough.

As I said, highly recommended.

[jpancake]

http://www.dogensangha.org/video.htm has a couple (slightly tilted) videos explaining the basic posture of zen meditation.

Your body needs to be in an alert or awake position in order for you to be able to settle into yourself. Sitting on a couch will just make you sleepy.

It's also hugely important not to expect anything out of your meditation. "Having trouble focusing" is only a symptom of what's actually going on. Meditation won't make it go away; but, if you stick with it, you'll likely gain insight into the causes of it, and hopefully find more productive ways of dealing with it.

[llimllib]

> It's also hugely important not to expect anything out of your meditation

Thanks for saying that... it's such an important bit, but so difficult to actually live, and it's ignored by most.

[michael_dorfman]

I'd suggest finding a meditation teacher, most likely through a meditation center. Meditation is not easy to learn from books, and the instruction really benefits from discussions around how it is going for you in particular.

Personally, I learned to meditated from a Shambhala center. They teach shamatha/vipassana meditation, which are the two most common forms of Buddhist meditation. The (over-simplified) explanation is that Shamatha is about quieting the mind, and Vipassana about awareness/insight.

In terms of your basic question, meditation can be as simple as sitting on the couch and watching empty space for a couple of minutes, if you are sitting on the couch and watching empty space the right way. Generally speaking, there are postures that serve better than couch-sitting, and instructions that are more sophisticated than "watching empty space", and a qualified meditation instructor can help you with those.

If you really don't have access to a local instructor, get in touch with me privately, and I'll see what I can do for you.

[zensmile]

I have tried meditation at the local Shambhala center (2 years) and also meditation after Vinyasa Flow Yoga session (1 year so far). I found both rewarding. They were rewarding for different reasons though. It would take volumes to note the differences. Essentially, the first was more spiritual and the second was physical and spiritual. This book may help you... http://tinyurl.com/bfqdq9 I go to yoga class weekly and practice sitting meditation less, but try to fit in a session once or twice a month. Good luck.

[robg]

If stress is the problem, I would try a more active martial art like karate, tai chi, kung fu, etc. Exchanging sitting in one place and breathing for another place and breathing doesn't seem like an optimal solution. Better to get moving around while learning to control your breath. Running does that too, but I find it's rough on my joints.

EDIT: I neglected yoga, which is excellent for de-stressing and working out daily kinks. The problem is it's popular and so it's expensive. As an extra bonus, if you're single, there are many worse places to be than in a yoga class.

[cadalac]

I play on a hockey team. Helps you forget about other things. Plus smacking a puck, or people occasionally is good for relieving stress. The only draw back is getting an intense work out right before going to bed doesn't really help your sleep.

[rsheridan6]

Five minutes just doesn't cut it. Think about how long it takes to get in the proper state of mind for hacking. I don't even bother if I know I'm going to have to stop in less than an hour. Meditation is similar (but I'd say you need 20 minutes, not an hour).

I did a ten day course with these guys: http://www.dhamma.org/

I found it to be difficult, but worthwhile. I'm not going to do a brain dump of my experiences here, but I came back with no shortage of focus, that's for sure.

Here's a thread where people talk about their experiences at this course: http://www.yoga.com/forums/forums/thread-view.asp?tid=18216&...

They tell you at the retreat that you should practice for an hour twice daily after you get back. I did that for awhile, but you feel like you're backsliding doing it for "just" two hours daily, after having put in roughly 100 hours in 10 days, and I was working 12 hour days at the time, so all I really did was work, meditate, and sleep. I ended up switching to this mantra-based approach: http://www.aypsite.org/13.html instead, because it only takes 20 minutes twice a day and seems to give you more benefit per time spent (this is not to say that this program is necessarily better than Vipassana, but it's easier to maintain while you're living in the real world). This is basically the same thing as TM, except you don't have to pay $2000 for a mantra. The people involved in this are too new-agey for my tastes, but the techniques will get you out of that permanent fight-or-flight reaction that does nothing but harm in the modern world.

The bottom line: do the 10 day course or something similar if you can and you are up to it. If not, a mantra for 20 minutes or so will help you deal with stress (although working out might be a good way to deal with too).

[chris11]

While I'm sure there is a difference between 5 and 20 minutes, I do find a five minute meditation break useful. It's a nice break between classes, and I end up feeling more focused.

[jscn]

Try reading http://thegrowinglife.com/2008/03/meditation-guide/ followed by http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html

[rscott]

You have to realize it IS different than staring into empty space. The breathing is the most important part, as aristus mentioned. Just try some deep belly breathing with your eyes closed for five minutes. The effects can be drastic. Good luck.

[unohoo]

if you're looking for yogic meditation, then its true essence lies in the breathing technics.

There are variations to the breathing technics - so its important that you do a little research on it rather than just randomly trying out something.

Search for 'baba ramdev' in google/youtube - he's a yoga guru in India who's achieved cult status.

[code_devil]

yes, he has some good techniques.

Also 'Art of Living' does some basic and advanced courses. They are helpful too.

Update: http://us.artofliving.org/art-of-living-course/index.html

[nose]

Have you read "Autobiography of a Yogi"? I'm half way through the book and am loving it.

[aneesh]

He's up to date on technology, and has a sense of humor too :)

See http://tinyurl.com/cx39vd

[vikram]

Mind Performance Hacks by Ron Hale-Evans has a bunch of recipes which deal with meditation. You could probably get it on http://safari.informit.com I think the first couple of weeks is free.

Fourfold Breath is the basic technique. Or google pranayama yoga. I idea is to control your breathing and through that control your being.

[10ren]

An aspect of some meditation is getting into a sensing mode instead of a judging/thinking mode. One way to do this is to focus on perceiving:

- focus on your breath (count to N as you breath in; count to N as you breath out - where N=4 or some other integer that is comfortable for you. I sometimes use N=2 if I'm very stressed).

- focus on the texture of something in the real world - trace the actual edge of a rock, or a doorway, or a road. Don't skip ahead with your idea of the edge - trace the actual edge, observe the actual texture of it.

- focus on the sounds around you, middle, near (your own sounds, breath, cloth moving) and far (traffic hum, birds, wind).

Being in nature, and thinking about what is stressing me, then observing infinite reality around me (sky, ocean, plants, earth) somehow calms me and puts things in perspective: those things are much more complex. I also get ideas from this new perspective. :-)

Not saying these will work for you. But one of them might.

[rokhayakebe]

Work out daily (even for just 20 minutes). Have more sex (differentiate).

[MaysonL]

Sit on the couch, stare into empty space, and notice your breathing. Now, notice the thoughts that creep in - don't fight them, don't obsess over them: just observe them. Welcome them, and let them go. Keep noticing your breathing.

Rinse, repeat (daily).

[IsaacSchlueter]

Disclaimer: I am not an expert. What follows is what has worked pretty good for me. YMMV. Consult your doctor before beginning this or any exercise program. Etc.

The best book that I've seen on the subject is "How to Meditate" by Lawrence LeShan. http://www.amazon.com/dp/0316880620

Meditation isn't magic, it's not stress relief, and it's not easy. Approach it like working out, because that's what it is. Do some research, formulate a routine, keep track of your progress, and maybe even get a friend to join you on the path so you can help each other stay motivated. It's easy to quit, and there will be LONG stretches when it seems like you've plateaued and there's no point.

Imagine if your legs got sore and tired every time you walked from your apartment to the car. You might conclude (correctly) that you need exercise your legs to make them stronger so that you won't get sore so easily. However, the first few times you work out, you'll be much more sore than otherwise.

Similarly, stress may be indicating that you need more balance and self-awareness. Meditation can give you that, but it can be a very stressful experience! At first, it may seem like it's making things worse. In fact, if you're doing it right, you'll probably hate it a little, because it won't be comfortable.

On the other hand, stress may be indicating that you need to make your heart and lungs stronger, and increase your muscle mass. So get out and move around.

I've had great results from physical activity like biking regularly. I just recently started taking taekwondo, and it's pretty incredible. It's best if it's something repetitive that you can gradually get better at with practice.

You might also consider seeing a shrink to talk about what's stressing you out. No one gets out of childhood without scars, and there's no shame in tackling the problem head on with a professional. Do you fix your own pipes? Remove your own wisdom teeth? Sew your own clothes? Isn't your mind even more complex than all of these things? Get help. Like meditation and exercise, therapy might not "feel good"; it's work that you do for long-term benefit, and it should hurt a little.

[edw519]

Training wheels for aspiring meditators:

http://www.mindfold.com/

(Don't laugh, nothing has ever worked better for me.)

[vivekkhurana]

I do couple of meditations like whirling, vipsana, gibberish etc. depending on the need of my body. Meditation is not a quick fix, infact initially meditation might result in fall in productivity as your body energy is re-balanced. Meditation is a long term solution and if learned properly, it will improve your productivity and make you less stressful. So, the most important point is to learn meditation from a master. I will suggest you stay away from the websites etc. which talk about meditation as most of them are money making pockets which teach half cooked ways to make you flowing money towards them. Btw, a proper sleep is one of the best form of meditation and if you are suffering from lack of sleep, you should increase the physical activity, for instance play tennis for one hour daily. This will de-stress you as well as ensure good sleep at night. Ensure 6-8 hrs of sleep everyday, this is the natures way to get rid of stress....

[lallysingh]

Mine's pretty simple:

1. Get a good noise-blocking pair of headphones. Such as the Etymotic ER-6is I have.

2. Get some relaxing music. I usually pick up an album a month of new music. It keeps the music effective.

3. Walk around a bit with the headphones playing the music. Just outside the office is fine, maybe up & down a street or two -- depends on where you/the office is.

[tjr]

Shameless plug: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/trevisr