blackgirldev's comments

If you survived the politics of being moved from store to store, never knowing your schedule, and blatant, miserable sexual harassment ("hey let's go out for drinks and discuss how I might let you sell large appliances instead of small electronics"...oh wait..."you didn't go to my apartment...we have this opening an hour away that you have to take with no advancement opportunity".

Okay, assuming the sexual harassment is gone/obsoleted by solid company policy, there's the "chasm" from peon to management that you can only aspire to if you never make a mistake or make them quietly. Or never leave the job to get a degree. Or get lucky somehow.

Those positions at management level above peon required a lot of sweat equity and risk on the part of the worker bee. If it doesn't pan out, well, that's what...3-15 years of your real actual life flushed down the toilet.

I'm with GenX. Screw that noise.

I am curious: what made you able to leverage the US education system? Was there a relative that influenced you to study? A teacher? Were you a part of a community program? What do you think got you out of the cycle?

It is how I learned how people rationalize their world and the things they experience into some kind of logical end they deserve.

I would never say mindset is what makes a person poor.

Without those three ingredients, you have a serious handicap to a stable life.

I make more money now than I ever did, and expected to be much happier. My pandemic "depression" has killed my hope and that money is not making me happy.

Anecdote is not data: understood.

There, I found out that people who grow up poor looked at me like I was a total idiot. There were daily reminders that I grew up privileged. That my brief stint as an enlisted scrub were not enough to understand what it meant when the military was your only option.

That said, I benefited greatly by not having an actual war during my tenure, having access to distance learning education, and finishing a degree there. I learned that I could get a super low rate VA mortgage as well. These things made a lot of difference and saved me at least a decade of working shit jobs to catch up with my peers after getting out of the military.

In contrast, my fellow enlisted from poverty never aspired to anything more than Chief (US Navy) (edit - nothing wrong with Chief Petty Officer - enlisted vs officer was a real class thing as I recall and it stays with me, sorry). That is, if they made it past the DUIs, economic/financial shame of buying expensive cars and crashing them, bad relationships with rampant abuse, etc.

As someone who could "see hope" because I wasn't mired in poverty's terrible view, I could actually take advantage of what military life offered.

I cannot adequately describe what it is like to be surrounded by people from poverty: to live with them, experience their pain vicariously, and not understand WHY they couldn't do what I was able to do.

The mindset is a real handicap. Changing your mindset is the core of moving from one place in life to another. I will never forget that lesson. Come to think of it, I know wealthy people stuck in detrimental mindsets. But that is another discussion.

Even after getting into the IT field, I tried to learn carpentry. I went to local shops that had the tools. No one was receptive to me for some reason. They were either closed during the times I could go after work, or defunct, or only wanted people who already knew carpentry (WTF).

Anyway, I entered software development because it was the only field that would hire me entry level. Aaaaaandd the only field I could actually self-teach. I am grateful for that fact...that you can teach yourself through books (back then no StackOverflow haha) nor Youtube, nor Udemy, etc. Just plain push yourself through the text books available. I spent a LOT of time at Borders books and Barnes and Noble, trying to figure things out.

You can't really do that with carpentry. Maybe you can self-teach auto repair. But as a woman, not even my family members would spend time to teach me (I had a cousin that was embarrassed to have me help out at his auto shop).

I got away with self-teaching IT as a black woman because it is not nearly as sexist or racist as other fields, with Indian and other immigrants showing the way to enlightenment to a great degree (in my personal experience).

I am telling everyone I know about it as well. Getting the word out and early support is key!

Not saying there were no Black artists: just saying that Black culture wrapped in what white people accept, like is not enough for the Black community.

Edit: you guys downvoting me are likely too young to remember day one on MTV when stuff Blacks actually listened to was not featured on MTV until hiphop culture forced the issue.

Black influence on mainstream music came at a huge cost to Black music stars. They were copied but mostly not included unless they paid homage. Horrible place for them truly.

You have minimal idea about what Black people are really about without another white person’s filter because that’s how it has always been even on BET.

edit: I should add that having watched a few shows like Jack & Jill (which I had never heard of until now)...I am reminded that when you have white people choose the Black actors/actresses of a show (even if they have Black employees' advice) limits the range of beauty. I forget how many gorgeous people are overlooked because they don't fit the mainstream idea of what "we" are supposed to look like in order to be seen as attractive. It's a subtle thing that permeates our children and culture and really makes a difference in perspective.

Also, the portrayal of middle and upper class Blacks is soooooo limited. I am so tired of hearing about up-and-coming poor Blacks. What about privileged assholes like me who always had a great life with plenty of opportunities? We are out here and we have stories.

Speaking of primary, elementary level perspective…

The school in question is where I went prior to its closing. After I graduated, white families decided to close a very new, nice school because they just didn’t want their kids among black students.

Even where there is money and great support, whites just don’t want to have any funding to go to black kids without their say-so.

It will never be solved. The hate is too deep. My old neighborhood had to resort to lengthy legal proceedings to get what they already paid for.

This is why affirmative action is necessary. The whites on the board closed the school because they wanted control.

Does anyone see how totally messed up this situation is and how it highlights the reality of deeply ingrained racism? Even middle class blacks who are not poverty level and not asking for free lunches can’t get a break. They bought and paid for a modern school, watched white people run away to other communities then forced the blacks to be bussed to the white school where the whites could allocate taxes their government controlled.

Not related but interesting: This is also where Shonda Rhimes, famous writer/producer of Grey’s Anatomy, grew up.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_(Terkel_book)

https://redislabs.com/blog/diving-into-crdts/

I am very afraid of police, become anxious in any federal building, and I am nervous at airports and their security setups.

My brother and I were forced to grow up early, given we could be accosted by police at any time for any reason.

The first time I had a rear headlight out and was stopped by the police, I was put in handcuffs and placed in the back seat of the police car. There was absolutely no reason whatsoever for this precaution.

When I go to my hometown, I go back to feelings of isolation and loneliness, and where I was never invited to parties, and spent entire summers alone at the library.